Nightmares and BDSM (Full Version)

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ExSteelAgain -> Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 3:31:43 AM)

She told me the other day that she had a nightmare that left her confused and fearful after she woke up for an hour or so. That got me thinking about my own nightmares. Do you think that those into BDSM have nightmares that are related to our play?

We had scened the day before her nightmare and I know my dreams often have that theme in some ways. My dreams come at two different times of the night. The first time is my affliction with the number 11:11. I will always look at the clock at 11:11. Why I do that, I have no idea, but I’ve often thought it was a message like in Close in Encounters. Remember the mountain fixation? There are many of us with that.

Okay, so sometimes, I wake up with a dream when I’ve gone to bed early, but more often my nightmares come in early morning around 4. My last nightmare left me HEARING my heart beating. I mean these are much more than dreams of being naked in public or someone catching you masturbating.

I can hear better during these times. My ears are especially tuned into the slightest sound. I have to hear the monsters creep up on me, you know. Now, don’t laugh, but the last monsters I fought were like silver chickens. They could fly in and attack me from all directions like in War of the Worlds.

Know what saved me? My trusty blue and black suede flogger. I could snap those things out of the air and they would poof into little mushroom clouds of feathers. I flogged hard, fast and at all angles in a life or death frenzy. Poof, poof, poof.

My dick shrinks up so small during these attacks that I’m sure it will never be a sub teasing tool again. It is scared as hell and hiding. I wake up thirsty for water and drink a couple of glasses trying to rehydrate my dick to life. I squeeze it in a sort of rhythmical CPR to bring it out of ventricular fibrillation.

Could it be that Doms and subs alter our biochemistry during our play enough to cause nightmares? Do we release the Acme Hormone Moving Company that drives down our street in the dark, packs up our peaceful sleep into this scary, psychedelic painted, moving van?

Is it guilt? Do I unleash a psychological monster from outer space that can make me hear my heartbeat? I didn’t do anything that day that I am ashamed of. I had used her ass like a drum for my hands and toys. I loved it, she loved it.

Later, I may have had evil thoughts of raping and pillaging half the women on the CM board, but I always have those. It was a normal day of abnormal play and thoughts. Could it have only been the Domly Slim Jims and beer I had after the scene? Do you folks have nightmares that you relate to BDSM play?



catize -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 3:53:50 AM)

I think that our dreams are just a way for our brain to process through some conflicts.  In dream analysis, everything is symbolic, not literal in context.  It may or may not have anything to do with BDSM, just because you use a flogger.
My very amateur interpretation is that the silver birds are you (steel is silver) and there is something bothering you (Pecking at you like chickens peck) about yourself. 



SusanofO -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 3:56:14 AM)

It's funny you should mention this - because right after I first found these boards last year, and was really getting into reading them, I had one of the worst nightmares I've ever had. It was horrible, and really, really scary. It wasn't about BDSM per se, but the people in it were all trying to kill me by skinning me alive, after chasing me up and down an escaltor in a vacuous, very populated building with very high ceilings, where I knew they were following me, but couldn't find a security guard anywhere, for what seemed like hours, and then they somehow cornered me in a room of this old, delapidated house and went to work on me..I woke up in a sweat and slept with the light on for two nights afterward. 

I think it was maybe just related to all of the new ideas I was reading about, and maybe I was feeling a little guilty for even being intensely insterested in BDSM at all. I haven't had any since (that I remember), not even when I was having "potential stalker" problems a little while ago, after visiting the BDSM "play" house. So, I think it may have been the "newness" of all of this for me? Not sure.

- Susan



Lashra -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 4:02:48 AM)

I don't have nightmares very often at all, in fact I rarely have a dream thats memorable. In fact I can go years without them. My sub doesn't seem to be troubled by nightmares either. But I do know that some people are more prone to nightmares then others, just like sleep walking. I used to do alot of sleep walking.

~Lashra



darkinshadows -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 4:06:24 AM)

I have two thoughts on these.
 
Dreams (and what people call 'nightmares') are the subconscious.  These are the fears and worries manifesting themselves through our thoughts.  Dreams are our reality when we are asleep.  It's our way of expressing that which we cannot in an awakend state.
 
Visions are those 'dreams and nightmares' that we are conscious of.  Sometimes we can 'wake' ourselves up from them.  We often can stand outside the vision and be quite lucid in our thoughts, digesting every scene, even talking about it knowing it is a 'dream' state.  These are more like information being passed to you from another source. (Don't always take that as some 'spiritual' connection - it might be your subconsious talking to you - it might be the thoughts of others(like telepathy) - no one knows what the brain is actually capable of).  These are often full of metaphors and symbols.
 
Chemicals do play a part.  Be they produced bodily, or taken in physically (foods, drugs, drink).  But they are still all productions of the unconscious mind.
 
Peace and Rapture



WhipTheHip -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 5:57:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

It's funny you should mention this - because right after I first found these boards last year, and was really getting into reading them, I had one of the worst nightmares I've ever had. It was horrible, and really, really scary. It wasn't about BDSM per se, but the people in it were all trying to kill me by skinning me alive, after chasing me up and down an escaltor in a vacuous, very populated building with very high ceilings, where I knew they were following me, but couldn't find a security guard anywhere, for what seemed like hours, and then they somehow cornered me in a room of this old, delapidated house and went to work on me..I woke up in a sweat and slept with the light on for two nights afterward. 

I think it was maybe just related to all of the new ideas I was reading about, and maybe I was feeling a little guilty for even being intensely insterested in BDSM at all. I haven't had any since (that I remember), not even when I was having "potential stalker" problems a little while ago, after visiting the BDSM "play" house. So, I think it may have been the "newness" of all of this for me? Not sure.

- Susan


Sometimes we dream about our worst fears.



sapphirepleasure -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 6:17:25 AM)

First off, the 11:11 thing is very interesting in and of itself.  I have a book in which the author asserts that when we are constantly presented with multiple 1's and 4's (4:44, for instance), it is a sign that angels are surrounding us.  He tells a story of going from being rather agnostic to being woken up at night, usually at 4:44 and seeing constantly multiple 4's or 1's repeating themselves in his life, along with visions that took him into a very spiritual path. 

When I was living with my training Master, he would have me spend about an hour a day resizing pictures of women in bondage, and at first that really triggered uncomfortable dreams for me.  During the entire three months that I was living 24/7 as a slave, many of my dreams were filled with D/s themes and imagery.  I suspect this was because I was experiencing so much that was new and integrating it into my experience and self-image.  Dreams are the playground of the subconcious and obviously I had a lot to sort out and it spilled into my sleep time, but I don't think that's a bad thing, really.  Just more of an equalizer.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 6:36:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain
Do you think that those into BDSM have nightmares that are related to our play?

I think people regularly have dreams that are related to what they do and focus on when awake. 



Celeste43 -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 7:16:15 AM)

I think the slim jims and beer caused the dehydation.

We know that heavy scening can cause temporary depletion of various body chemicals, endorphins, adrenoline, blood sugar drop etc. It makes sense to me that the temporary interference with normal body chemicals could affect dreaming.



ExSteelAgain -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 8:06:17 AM)

Thanks for all the comments. Yes, I guess it is a common sense thing that when you play you will dream about it, whether it is symbolic or not. The dehydration part sounds plausible, too. Maybe I should drink more water before bed after a scene. I don’t know. Lashra, you guys never have dreams? That is interesting. Could it be that you sleep so deeply that you forget them?

As an aside, about the 11:11 thing, I noticed that for years I would look at the clock if there was one around at that time. In bed I would often turn over exactly and notice the 11:11 digits on the clock.. It bothered me so much that one day I did a Google search. Well, lo and behold, there were many groups dedicated to this phenomenon. I was amazed and read the stories of many and they were a lot like mine. A gradual awareness that I always checked the clock at that precise time.

The guy who does late night talk radio, Coast to Coast Live, George Norrie, has it too. He once had a guest who discussed the subject. There are a few explanations, one being that is the only number on the clock that has all 4 digits the same so you tend to remember that sequence more. Some individuals will carry it further and start noticing 11:11 in all sorts of places. Receipt numbers, tickets and so on. Watch out, because sometimes when I tell others about this, they tell me later that it starts to happen to them also.



SexyRed -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 8:13:01 AM)

I wake up sometimes with my heart pounding but I cannot remember the dreams/nighmares. However, after I have a scene, I sleep like a contented baby, no dreams at all.



littlesubjess -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 8:19:47 AM)

I had a real-life nightmare on Sunday, just gone.

My Mistress wrapped me up in saran wrap, really tight and secure - I couldnt move a muscle. Then (as a humiliation thing) covered my head and face in shaving foam. She left me like that then, turning off the light and closing the door on her exit. I moved my head to one side and got a face full of even more foam, but Mistress had put a towel under my head. Somehow, this ended up covering my face and trapping all airways. I tried to inhale air, but all I got was a mouth full of foam and my nostrils were blocked now too. I tried to sit up but I seriously couldnt move a muscle. I screamed as loud as I could. I screamed 3 times before Master came in to see what was going on. He didnt even realise Mistress had put foam on me.

He quickly removed all the foam and I was able to breathe again. It was a terrifying experience, as I was trapped, all alone, and unable to breathe. I dread to think what would have happened if Master had not heard me screaming, or reached me in time. I could very easily have died, suffocated under the foam.

I cant understand why Mistress left me like that in the first place. But anyway, thats my real-life BDSM nightmare lol.

Jess xxx



ownedgirlie -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 8:42:11 AM)

Two things:

I have had the same recurring nightmare since I was a child.  A most horrible dream that would awaken from in an anxiety attack - crying, shaking, terrified.  I would have it several times a year...or more, depending on my stress level.  Typically I would have it when life became (seemingly) out of control.  After I moved away from the home I shared with my husband, I woke up at 2am from the same dream and was in an even worse state, for being alone in my anxity attack.  I grabbed my laptop and wrote about it to my Master, and that calmed me.  He called the next morning, saying, "I forbid you to have that dream again."  I thought, ok there's a set up for failure, eh?  A month later in the beginnings of having that dream, a thought shot through my  mind - - "I'm not allowed to have this dream.  I need to wake up."  And I woke up.  I haven't had the dream in over a year now.

Just last night, however, I had a dream that I was wrongly hauled off to jail after a kind member of our forums tried to hide me out.  My biggest fear was, "Will the authorities remove my collar??"  I was going to behave so that they'd let me keep it on.  They threw me on a bed of wooden spikes for torture and I found it most enjoyable!  



agirl -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 9:08:44 AM)

Personally, absolutely. I dream vividly often...... but more so just before I know my Master is coming and afterwards.

Just last night I dreamt I was saying * Bloody, bloody ,bloody, you can't get me*...in the most unattractive sing-song way........and I KNOW it was because I KNEW he was coming today. It's almost like the WORST things I could possibly do get explored while I'm asleep......like wandering carelessly along the very edge of a volcano.

I know it is a type of *thumbing my nose* at my situation, as it's always been a constant source of frustration and always will be.

Usually I couldn't dream the strange and terrible things that actually happen in real life when he's around. It's the worst and the best thing about him.[:o]

agirl



RobertMaddox -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 9:31:53 AM)

Oddly enough, getting into the scene was a form of therapy for me.  I'd been having these dreams about doing utterly bastardly things to people in a wide variety of manners, listening to them scream, cry out and so on, then wake up refreshed and smiling - many times aroused.  Not knowing about the S&M community at the time, I was consumed by guilt and the paranoia that I was some sort of psycho in the offing.  I hid it from my family and became an insomniac, dreading the dreams that would seem so pleasant until I realized I was feeling good about causing so much pain...

Finding about Alt.com at first, then secretly ghosting through site after site on late-night insomniac internet sessions about BDSM and the community it had, straining the bullsh-t from fact, I realized I wasn't going to go off on some murderous rampage involving various spur-of-the-moment kinkables like I was seeing each night I dreamed.
In short, becoming a part of this community let me get a little sleep again.  It was the waking nightmare that was quelled.



Slipstreme -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 10:40:36 AM)

quote:

Do you folks have nightmares that you relate to BDSM play?


I often have dreams associated with how I play and what I do, but never really any nightmares. They end up being exciting experiences.



Owned1 -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 10:52:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesubjess

I had a real-life nightmare on Sunday, just gone.

My Mistress wrapped me up in saran wrap, really tight and secure - I couldnt move a muscle. Then (as a humiliation thing) covered my head and face in shaving foam. She left me like that then, turning off the light and closing the door on her exit. I moved my head to one side and got a face full of even more foam, but Mistress had put a towel under my head. Somehow, this ended up covering my face and trapping all airways. I tried to inhale air, but all I got was a mouth full of foam and my nostrils were blocked now too. I tried to sit up but I seriously couldnt move a muscle. I screamed as loud as I could. I screamed 3 times before Master came in to see what was going on. He didnt even realise Mistress had put foam on me.

He quickly removed all the foam and I was able to breathe again. It was a terrifying experience, as I was trapped, all alone, and unable to breathe. I dread to think what would have happened if Master had not heard me screaming, or reached me in time. I could very easily have died, suffocated under the foam.

I cant understand why Mistress left me like that in the first place. But anyway, thats my real-life BDSM nightmare lol.

Jess xxx


This imo is more than a nightmare it is bordering on abuse.  One of the first things you learn in BDSM and its activities is to stay safe.  Never to leave the submissive alone when in any type of bondage.  This example is a prime reason why.  If you have someone dependant on your for their very life why would you leave them alone. 

As a mind fuck the scene could have been played that you thought you were alone but you still would have been safe. 

This is one of the reasons there are deaths in the BDSM world due to the absolute lack of knowledge of those in the Top position and playing unsafe. 

This is not even edge play it is just unsafe.

To be honest I became very angry when I read this.

I am sorry this happened to you and I certainly hope you have discussed this with your Dom and she realized what she did what the potential of harm was and that she will never do anything of this type again.

For me personally I would have great difficulty submitting to this person ever again

Owned



SleeplessGypsy -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 10:54:30 AM)

Very interesting... I 'm always waking up at 3:30am.. Have been since i was very young... Whats really perplexing is that i'll look up at the clock again and it'll be 3:33.. i don't wake up again till the alarm clock goes off but why is it always 3:30??..

Addressing the OP's question.. Yes, i've always had very violent dreams.. I'm always being kidnapped and sent to a foriegn country and upon arriving I spend the rest of my sleep trying to escape only to find myself getting re-captured and repeating the escape.. It's quite exhausting, lol....

Do my dreams having anything to do with the lifestyle in which I lead? It prolly lends to the intensity of my dream state but i've been having these dreams for as long as I can remember.. My dreams are also very real, like watching a Movie and if the dream goes to far I just tell myself, 'it's just a dream' and I wake up...



Sub03 -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 12:14:01 PM)

I wouldn't say its a nightmare per say or really have to do with BDSM but it kinda does in a way. When I first moved in with my Master I would have the same dream a couple nights a week. The dream would vary somewhat but the main theme was that something would happen or someone would be after me and I would want my Master but couldnt get ahold of Him for some reason, in one He was the bad guy coming after me. And yet in the dream I still wanted him to rescue me I guess. I cant really remember the dreams exactly but the overall feel of the dream was that I was going to be let go by my Master or lose Him in some way. That dream happened pretty often, then I mentioned it to Master and we talked about it and I havent had it since.



onestandingstill -> RE: Nightmares and BDSM (8/23/2006 12:22:39 PM)

Dreams are our subconscious mind making sens of what happens in our conscious worlds. I think being scening with your sub is a powerful thing for you the dreams are just lingering on important subjects. I don't think they are some message of impending doom. I think your mind is just swatting away those chickens with your flogger in place of something else that you feel causes resistance to your path for you.
In most of my dreams some part of the days path gets pulled into them. I'd just chalk it up to free exclusive entertainment and keep going.
Suzanne



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