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Craftsman -> RE: In the name of research !! (8/20/2006 8:07:46 PM)
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Edited because I found some typos, some extra lines, and that I was 'a day late 'n' a dollar short' again --- looks like the thread was already closed. oops.
quote:
ORIGINAL: missturbation
I'm hoping you nice people will help me with a little bit of research! I'm not looking for bdsm related answers in particular just general relationship ones.
I'm not sure I'm a nice person, but the questions do intrigue me, and hit a little close to home.
quote:
1, Have you ever had a partner who you know has been lieing to you but you've continued the relationship anyway?
Yes. I was naive enough to think that gentle confrontation and discussion could remedy the situation. It did not. quote:
2, If so why?
It is said love is blind. I trusted the woman, since she reiterated to me for many years many times that she was forever, at least in this lifetime, my slave, my property, and she could not conceive of ever being with anyone else. I believed. I was wrong in believing.quote:
3, What things are the foundations of a relationship for you? Things you feel you cannot have a relationship without? (Eg, trust, loyalty, honesty).
I think the main foundation of relationships is communication. When that fails, everything fails. Communication is necessary for friendship and most importantly when there is emotional involvement and committment. Within that communication there must be trust, since one cannot be together at all times. In my case, she would entertain her male friends in my house, making sure they were gone when I got home, and that was a violation of the trust I placed in her. Loyalty was obviously not a part of her vocabulary, since she was with a plethora of people, denying those involvements all along. Obviously there was no loyalty. Without those components, there was not committment, not affection, and certainly not love. As a submissive, she played with all kinds of people I had not permitted, and as a lover she cheated every chance she got.
I have learned a little since then. Maybe that's why I am alone. I think it is better to be alone than to constantly worry about what kind of situation is developing in my home, what kind of disease I may have to seek treatment for, and what kind of confrontation I may have with someone who thinks that what is mine is hers, due to her misrepresentations.
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4, Have these 'foundation needs' changed as you get older?
Those foundational needs have of course changed. Some have gotten stronger. Some are much more carefully monitored these days. I think I may be more safe that way, and those with which I might have such a relationship may also be a bit more safe this way.quote:
Thank you in advance.
You are welcome.
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