this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many here found love on thier first time experience

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this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many here f... - 8/8/2006 5:41:34 PM

readytogamble

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

I consider myself the luckiest guy alive. My first experience out as a dom, I went to meet an online interest. She was my first experience stepping out in this lifestyle and she had rather limited experience herself. Not only was the first time incredible, but here we are, eight months later and incredibly in love and contemplating the next step (s)..... what are the odds of this happening?...Has anyone else out there experienced something like this the very first time out of the gate? What are the pitfalls? How does one keep the level of intensity or *newness* up?....Does anyone believe that this is simply an emotional high over a new experience, and thus surely to fail?....(I dont, but willing to listen)

Post #: 1

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/8/2006 5:47:02 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

There is no question that you are bound by the experiences you have had... But are you also bounded by the character and values of each other. When the experiences are not happening.... you have to have something.

Are you together because of the experiences your having... or are the experiences celebrating the connection and bond of the two of you. The first is doomed... the second is a lifetime of adventure.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to readytogamble)

Post #: 2

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/8/2006 5:53:50 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I am head over heels in love with the first man I experienced BDSM with, but I fell in love long before he ever used a flogger on me. Of course, he is an evil rat bastard, so what is not to love. *eg*

Knight's kyra

*edited for typos

< Message edited by kyraofMists -- 8/8/2006 5:58:28 PM >

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to readytogamble)

Post #: 3

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/8/2006 5:57:24 PM

DanielsHeart

Posts: 39
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: readytogamble

I consider myself the luckiest guy alive. My first experience out as a dom, I went to meet an online interest. She was my first experience stepping out in this lifestyle and she had rather limited experience herself. Not only was the first time incredible, but here we are, eight months later and incredibly in love and contemplating the next step (s)..... what are the odds of this happening?...Has anyone else out there experienced something like this the very first time out of the gate? What are the pitfalls? How does one keep the level of intensity or *newness* up?....Does anyone believe that this is simply an emotional high over a new experience, and thus surely to fail?....(I dont, but willing to listen)

Oh it is very possible. my Master and i are proof of that as are many others. If you keep the line of communication open and try not to fit everything into one day, the intensity will remain always. New experiences together are always intense.

Enjoy and good luck
Daniel's heart

_____________________________

His heart for His pleasure always

(in reply to readytogamble)

Post #: 4

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/8/2006 6:03:00 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

You don't. Energy ebbs and flows. There is as much joy and intimacy in sleeping in your jammies and doing absolutely nothing but be lazy on the couch, watching tv, reading the paper and hanging out all day as there is in a 4 hour edge play scene.

Newness will fade, but there will always be new things to do together. Create a relationship, a living dynamic together. Learn to enjoy the lows and the highs equally.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DanielsHeart)

Post #: 5

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/8/2006 6:04:36 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

For the first time out of the gate, as you say, I think you are by far in the minority, blessed by a major stroke of serendipity! But I am really happy for you and wish you the best! Just apply the same rules and attitudes that you would someone you met in "real life". If you've made it 8 months, heck, that's way longer than many real life "vanilla" relationships last!

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to DanielsHeart)

Post #: 6

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/8/2006 6:58:17 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Must be nice!

(in reply to readytogamble)

Post #: 7

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/8/2006 7:30:44 PM

iowastud

Posts: 50
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

im about to make that first time meeting with someone soon. i hope mine works out as well as yours did.

(in reply to readytogamble)

Post #: 8

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/8/2006 7:59:51 PM

babygirl005

Posts: 146
Joined: 5/3/2005
Status: offline

Well, I it didn't happen for me the first time, but I did find the woman I will be with the rest of my life here on Collarme. Keep a balance and nurture the non bdsm parts you have in common. It is not always whips and chains, so you need to know and love the person as well. Congrats and good luck to you.

Estring

< Message edited by babygirl005 -- 8/8/2006 8:00:13 PM >

(in reply to readytogamble)

Post #: 9

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/8/2006 8:19:42 PM

stockingluvr54

Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

Good for you guys! Hope it works out. My last girl hustled my ass on a yahoo message board. She lived with me for 2.5 yrs and I thought everything was pretty good...turns out she had a real problem with the truth and she took off. Anyways....I thought we had 2+ good years out of the deal.....

(in reply to readytogamble)

Post #: 10

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/8/2006 8:29:39 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Must be nice!

...

..Pats Popeye on head..its oootayy!...you will find your mate someday......Tempting

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 11

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/8/2006 8:46:25 PM

Submotive

Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: readytogamble

I consider myself the luckiest guy alive. My first experience out as a dom, I went to meet an online interest. She was my first experience stepping out in this lifestyle and she had rather limited experience herself. Not only was the first time incredible, but here we are, eight months later and incredibly in love and contemplating the next step (s)..... what are the odds of this happening?...Has anyone else out there experienced something like this the very first time out of the gate? What are the pitfalls? How does one keep the level of intensity or *newness* up?....Does anyone believe that this is simply an emotional high over a new experience, and thus surely to fail?....(I dont, but willing to listen)

Don't know about odds, but i feel extremely fortunate as well. After only 7 months of "testing" other Doms, i met Master on a vanilla site. He really had no clue what i was up to *weg* but - ahem - He has had NO problem catching on royally. Personally, i think it's extremely important to really like and love Your O/one, have some common interests beside BDSM, have ongoing, clear communications and respect for what Y/you agree on. O/our dynamic grows and deepens along with O/our love.

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to readytogamble)

Post #: 12

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/8/2006 10:01:35 PM

DixieBellle

Posts: 20
Joined: 5/26/2006
From: middle TN
Status: offline

Hello readytogamble. Master and i found love, He was my first RT exp but i was not His first sub. He is the love of my life, the risk i took in giving my all was very definitley worth it.

_____________________________

The essence of submission is that your Masters happiness is essential to your own

(in reply to Submotive)

Post #: 13

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/9/2006 1:27:33 AM

obis

Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline

Enjoy your luck! But yes, it's such an amazing experience that you're both being overloaded with the excitement of it all, and for your own sanity you should both keep that in mind. Don't go getting married or pregnant until you've given it at least 6 months or so for the new car smell to wear off

(in reply to DixieBellle)

Post #: 14

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/9/2006 4:20:03 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Awwww...sorry to hear that one. It is true you must be careful but 2 1/2 years is a long time only to get screwed.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to stockingluvr54)

Post #: 15

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/9/2006 4:20:37 AM

CuteIrishM4F

Posts: 104
Joined: 7/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

She was my first experience stepping out in this lifestyle and she had rather limited experience herself ... Has anyone else out there experienced something like this the very first time out of the gate?

i promise to let you know when the first experiance happens!

a.

(in reply to obis)

Post #: 16

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/9/2006 7:40:26 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I don't know if it would fit your question or not. Though I found love with my first dom. We were both living in Texas at the time. Met one another and things went from there. Then spent ten year's together. I asked for release as he was being transferred outside of the country. Though we didn't meet online. We met at a bowling alley.
It was great either way.

(in reply to readytogamble)

Post #: 17

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/9/2006 8:26:37 AM

TheShadows

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline

My husband and I met on Alt.com back in December of 2000. It was my first time meeting anyone, real life or from online, who was interested in the lifestyle. We were married on Halloweeen of 2001. Coming up on 5 years. Granted, I started out as "submissive" to him, but we couldn't be happier, regardless of how things have ultimately turned out.

I think if you both attempt early to lay a groundwork of vanilla-type things you have in common, the sky's the limit. That's what worked for us. Some of the pitfalls we've encountered are keeping a comfortable balance between vanilla-type relationship stuff (Our marriage, which comes before anything lifestyle-related) and BDSM-D/D (in our case) parts; trying to move too fast in the beginning, differences in communication styles....I could go on. Basically, any type of pitfalls you'd find in any vanilla relationship may come about at some point, but lump a handful of D/s related issues on top of those, just in case.

Sounds like you guys are doing quite well, and are happy. Don't worry so much....Ya might jinx it. LOL. I wish y'all the best.

MrsShadows

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to readytogamble)

Post #: 18

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/9/2006 8:30:01 AM

stockingluvr54

Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

Awwww...sorry to hear that one. It is true you must be careful but 2 1/2 years is a long time only to get screwed.

No sweat here Tess! I look at it as a pretty good deal for the most part. Busted her lying in the beginning...sat her down and had a long talk! I've got a pretty good defense mechanism built inside these walls of mine....when someone lies to me....no matter how hard I try and trust....I can only give back about 90% so when it all came to an end....I still had that 10% that she couldn't touch!

To her credit...she really helped my biz take off with some of her skills and that's also about the time that I was starting to realize that "something" was missing in a "normal" relationship?

So it's all good.......

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 19

RE: this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many he... - 8/9/2006 9:24:35 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
There is as much joy and intimacy in sleeping in your jammies and doing absolutely nothing but be lazy on the couch, watching tv, reading the paper and hanging out all day as there is in a 4 hour edge play scene.

Dang, the things we have to look forward to.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 20

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> this isnt a really scientific poll, but how many here found love on thier first time experience

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