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How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 2:27:22 PM   
skarredwolf18


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		who's the most submissive girl/guy you've ever met? how did he/she act? I am quite submissive, mixed with shyness and a little fear. Because of this I attract pervs on the street and  I usually have a hard time talking to people. I also have a hard time making my own decisions and such... Anyone got any advice for a shaky lil' puppy...? 
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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 2:33:04 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		The most submissive person I ever met is my husband. Since I am submissive, this arrangement does not work well for me. Natch.

Advice for you ... hmmmmmm ... turn yourself into the person you'd like to be. Meditation. Reassessment. Constructive criticism from r/t friends (it's ok to solicit such advice online but since none of us know you r/t it's difficult to make a true assessment).

Or.

Find a strong Master. He will let you know how to behave.

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to skarredwolf18)
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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 2:36:59 PM   
skarredwolf18


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		uh thanks.... actually i'm working on trying to become more confident in myself,..but i guess i still need a push...

(in reply to MmakeMme)
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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 2:37:47 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		If I weren't a sub, I'd give you ~ such ~ a push.

~ chuckle ~

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 2:41:37 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: skarredwolf18

uh thanks.... actually i'm working on trying to become more confident in myself,..but i guess i still need a push...

There are those of us, well, ME, who just adores shaky little puppies <s> I'm sorry you have problems with real predators. It saddens me to know that you are out there in a world where you are prone to be hit on by the pervies. Confidence is the key, but also you must have the ability to "just say no". I hope you do have that ability! Welcome to the boards little skarred puppy, hopefully you will find the one who will help you become the confident pup you should be :)

_____________________________





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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 3:02:34 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Being submissive in personality doesn't absolve you from adult responsibilities.  Be a grown up and use who you are as strength.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 3:04:49 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		Be someone you would want to own, if you were a Top.

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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 3:10:34 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: skarredwolf18

who's the most submissive girl/guy you've ever met? how did he/she act? I am quite submissive, mixed with shyness and a little fear. Because of this I attract pervs on the street and  I usually have a hard time talking to people. I also have a hard time making my own decisions and such... Anyone got any advice for a shaky lil' puppy...? 

 
Practice learning how to assert yourself and stand up for yourself, and most importantly learn to TRUST in yourself, your gut and instinct.  That is called being responsible for yourself and your own happiness.  This is all inside of you somewhere, you have to develope it, and it takes learning how to have courage to believe in who you are, enough so to listen to your inner voice, and become the person you were born to be.  Self control and discipline from within will get you there. Build a tough shell for the world. Only show your vulnerable side to the one(s) you trust.  All of this will aid you in building your self confidence and esteem.  You can do it. ;->
 
~raiken

(in reply to skarredwolf18)
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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 3:15:52 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Be someone you would want to own, if you were a Top.


Nice one. ~ smiling ~

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to Homestead)
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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 3:59:17 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		There are tons of books and articles out there on gaining self-confidence and assertiveness. These are important skills for every adult. They not only make you safe, they make you more appealing to a potential partner.

We generally find it easier to change our habits and personality traits when we're young, so now is the time to really work on becoming the strong, confident person you need to be.

(Yes, submissives/slaves do need to be confident and assertive, or we're dead meat, sweetheart. Predators can mask as benevolent dominants, easily enough. Lack of confidence is what they look for. So beware the 'great big protector' types who claim they like you vulnerable, and want you to leave everything up to them...)
 
By the way, one thing that helps to build confidence is knowledge, so stick around here, and listen, share and learn...as we all do, no matter what our age and level of experience. Welcome.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 4:03:14 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

The most submissive person I ever met is my husband. Since I am submissive, this arrangement does not work well for me.

I loved seeing this- same here
I keep telling him he would make an excellent sub to someone he says No thanks lol

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 4:13:53 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		I have a dear girl friend that is so submissive she borders being a doormat which causes me lots of frustration and worry for her.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 7:54:28 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Littlepita

I have a dear girl friend that is so submissive she borders being a doormat which causes me lots of frustration and worry for her.

Which just goes to prove that a lot of submissives ARE weak and ARE doormats.

However, it has nothing to do with being submissive- plenty of submissives are NOT weak and not at all doormats.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 9:06:20 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		The most submissive that i know?  My best friend.  How does she act?  She gives and gives and gives and hates to be a burden on others.  She's sweet and loving and she'd do anything for anyone and never ask a thing for herself.  She never wants to do ANYTHING that could cause anyone any upset, even to the point of sacrificing something she needs/wants.  She generally thinks about everyone else first.  Works her ass off for her family and gets taken advantage of and is quite "ok" with the situation as she "wants" too.  She is quite happy being of service to anyone and so long as no one is "bitching" she stays happy!  LOL

Advice?  Suck it up!  Drinks some pepsi!  Smoke a cig and smile!  Walk up to the nearest scary person and say "heeeey wazzup noob.  Got a light?"  Though you might want to drop the noob part.  Oh and DUN forget to smile.  It generally creates a smile back. 

Find a biker bar!!  They generally can look very scary.. but they're like the nicest ppl.  Walk up and be like.. Hey!  how goes it!  (smile)  Can i have a light (or the time) 

Hold yer head high!  Look scary ppl dead in the eye and SMILE.  Offer a pepsi!  Eventually, you wont be scared any more and other ppl will be scared of you!

And if you cant make a decision.. go poll the nearest 20 ppl (collarme is a GOOD place for this) and and decide what the average answer is. 

When i sees you starting threads with "should i wear the white or the brown socks today" (make sure you add in what the outfit it is.. always helps) i'll know yer doing better

and i'll open a pepsi in yer honor!




_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 9:10:08 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Littlepita

I have a dear girl friend that is so submissive she borders being a doormat which causes me lots of frustration and worry for her.

Which just goes to prove that a lot of submissives ARE weak and ARE doormats.

However, it has nothing to do with being submissive- plenty of submissives are NOT weak and not at all doormats.


i dun worry bout my friend.  Cos she's got mes!  And i'd kick anyones ass if they so much as screwed with her.  So much as took advantage of her.  Plus i gives her LOTS of talks (i'm da sounding board for her lifes issues) on how to keep herself safe. 

She may be a doormat.. and easily taken advantage of.. but she's smart and ppl love her and no one would let any harm come to her.  Plus she KNOWS how she is and takes precautions.  S'why she dun join sites like myspace or collarme (not that she's interested in BDSM) Cos she got sent a nekked pic once and she was like whoaaaa.. and ran cos she dun want to run into any big bad wolfs out here.

 


_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 9:11:15 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Take a martial arts class and as soon as you determine that you could kick the average citizens ass, do so. 

Should do wonders for your confidence providing you leave them in a bloody heap.  Take it from someone who's been there (if you can find that person). 

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to Devilslilsister)
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RE: How submissive??? - 8/4/2006 9:27:48 PM   
nefertari


Posts: 425
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: skarredwolf18

who's the most submissive girl/guy you've ever met? how did he/she act? I am quite submissive, mixed with shyness and a little fear. Because of this I attract pervs on the street and  I usually have a hard time talking to people. I also have a hard time making my own decisions and such... Anyone got any advice for a shaky lil' puppy...? 


Start small.  Each little victory will boost your confidence.  Don't try to attack everything at once.  I used to be a lot like that...long ago.  When I went to the grocery store, for example, I wouldn't look at people (if I don't see you, you don't see me!).  And I started to force myself to make eye contact with people and smile.  Sounds silly, but it worked.   Just carried over that same idea into other areas.  And if you think someone is trying to take advantage of you and find it hard to say no, think about what you'll feel like afterwards if you don't say no and decide if it's worth a moment's unpleasantness up front or a lot more after.

(in reply to skarredwolf18)
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RE: How submissive??? - 8/5/2006 12:18:20 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		a dominant friend of mine once told me His biggest frustration with one of His girls was she was sooo submissive, He had to work with her to channel her submission to ONE. she would get tied up serving strangers to the extent her own chores went lame and she thought this was a good thing. 

Just remember you don't want to be the "community submissive", learn to channel or focus where your submission takes place.  and welcome to the boards!

(in reply to nefertari)
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RE: How submissive??? - 8/5/2006 6:18:46 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		It depends on how you define "submissive" on how I would answer this question. I do not think we define the term the same way to be honest. I haven't attacted more than my fair share of pervs for example. I am very confident also. I can be outspoken even if I prefer to be quiet in a crowd. I also defer to my Daddy in anyway he likes me to.

I would say my best friend is more submissive than me personality wise, and possibly the most submissive person I know. She doesn't try to be "naturally submissive", it isn't an act for her or anything she tries to "prove", if someone refers to her as a bedroom submissive she doesn't care. At the same time she is just this helpful serving person that really tries to give to people... it is just who she is. She is also strong, intelligent, opinionated, and poised.

On edit I would recommend finding the beauty of your submissiveness and find the strength within it to grow more confident. Being submissive doesn't necessarily mean being a perv magnet. It means giving of self in service (how ever you define that)

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 8/5/2006 6:20:27 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: How submissive??? - 8/5/2006 12:12:13 PM   
skarredwolf18


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		Uh,...thanks for the advice everybody...  I'll keep trying I suppose.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 20
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