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musicislove -> Conflicting feelings! (8/2/2006 9:31:25 PM)
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Hi all. I'm in a commited relationship and my girlfriend has much more experience than I have had with bdsm. She's 26 and 16 years younger than I am, Through actions in bed and discussions I've learned that she was a slave for two years with a few different masters when she was 19 and 20. I find myself feeling very jealous that she's gotten a chance to let her sexuality blossom and have had sex in ways I never even dreamed about, well maybe a little.
Lately I've been driving myself and her crazy with questioning her about her past, partly because it turns me on and other times I feel like oh my god and the jealousy kicks in, it's so frustrating going between these two emotions! I find myself imagining her roles and what it looked liked......
For awhile I seemed to feel most comfortable when she's my dom and enjoy many aspects of it especially the strap ons.
When she's my sub, which rarely happens I can get very turned on by it but then most of the time I start judging my performance because she's had so much experience.
I seem to be the only one bringing up the discusions of bdsm and group sex,, but she listens well and says she's open to me exploring with others but when it comes down to it she's not as comfortable as she thought and I don't persuit it.
Not sure what I'm really asking for here, but I thought I would put all of this out there and see what other have to say.
Sometimes I want a Mistress too take me and open up a new world for me.
the fantasies flow like a fast river.....
I'm just tired of feeling the mixed emotions with it all, she and I defiantly have fun play together and she can deliver a very pleasurable spanking, ouch, yum!
I want to get over my jealousy! Am I the only one who has jealousy issues on this board?
Thanks for listening
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