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on protocol type - 7/31/2006 8:13:34 PM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		About protocol type, the use of caps and slashes to recognise roles, titles, positions, etc.  i have read comments that it's difficult to read over several pages, and that reduces communication rather than enhancing it.  i tend to agree.  i think the same of light moss/ taupe/ lavender type in italicised script font, or 24 point red bold, anything that causes the reader to make eyeball adjustments detracts from the discussion at hand, IMHO. However, i have asked Master if i may to use standard punctuation and capitalisations in this forum, given W/we often have several pages of reading here, and was given a solid "No."  While He never has to justify His decisions, especially to me, i'd still like to explain some of the reasoning, in hopes that T/those who read my posts will understand this is a matter of obedience for me, and i mean N/nobody discomfort. Maybe T/those who have held the same opinion i do, can find validity in His reasoning, as i do.  i have always felt it's an issue of readablilty and communication.He says "It's a matter of communication within the lifestyle."That includes recognising unique roles and positions, and showing the community respect without making judgements on O/others claims of role. Hence, Anyone that designates Themselves "Dominant" is to be treated as such, whether i agree with said Dom/mes accuracy of claim. In Masters eyes, my making that judgement call is as offensive as the Dominants that tell submissives they are "Not TRUE submissives",  i am not allowed to do so.  It's a fair point.  i like to think unless i am submitting myself to Another, W/we should be having peer-to-peer discussion, not D/s discussion.  Masters point is, if i truly want peer-to-peer communication, then go post in a nilla / neutral/ peer community, not a lifestyle forum.  Honestly, i'm lazy, i find it more difficult to write this way, and i have to stop and ponder which words are role dependant.  His point is; i'm lazy and i NEED to spend some time thinking about which words are role dependant.  lol.  That if it's more difficult for me to post, then i'll probably weigh my words and only add to the discussion when i have actual input that serves the discussion, not just to read myself think.   Lastly,  He uses it without fail.  So... chances are nill that the rule will ever be relaxed.. as long as He can find the shift and slash keys, i will be expected to as well.  i think i can live with that.  Besides, at least He doesn't insist on 3rd person speech.  my brain would explode. 
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RE: on protocol type - 7/31/2006 8:51:49 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		I'm not quite sure if there is a question or not...so i will just say:  If your dominant wants you to type that way, then you are following his orders.  What others type will make no difference. 
It's just one more form of what i call  "chatism"........nothing more.

~smilezz~

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RE: on protocol type - 7/31/2006 9:07:48 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Oh hell.... let's just say... I found out last tuesday.. I need glasses... I didn't need them before joining Collarme.....

LOL...THANKS YALL.....


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RE: on protocol type - 7/31/2006 9:21:47 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		well since no one else has said it... I'll say it...

It's an internet thing, not a lifestyle thing. In the real world we can all pretty much tell who is dominant & who is not & a capital or slashy thingy is the last thing in the world on people's minds. It is only in a written environment that text must be altered in order to make a role immediately known.

The text is nearly impossible to read & it makes my head hurt as well.

But I also agree, if that is what your told to do, then by all means do what you are told.

(by gosh if I were a sub I would have that listed as a hard limit & make it known at the beginning of negotiations... since I am not a sub, I tell people right away that I expect them to write to me exactly if they were writing a family member or a letter for work related correspondence.)

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 7/31/2006 9:23:25 PM >

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MstrssPassion


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RE: on protocol type - 7/31/2006 9:23:21 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		Adding layers of complication, and excessive wordiness, never helps communication.

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RE: on protocol type - 7/31/2006 9:56:58 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Ditto to Passion and Homestead.

People in the American lifestyle scene generally use English and grammar.  And it's always been my opinion to communicate and clearly and simply while being as correct in our grammar as possible.

He can have whatever rules he wants to have.  But justifying it as a "lifestyle" thing is crap.  Generally people don't say much about you not capping your name and capping your doms name, as long as you don't try and tell others the "right way."  So go have it and don't worry about being looked down on for it.

Slashy speak is just plain irritating.

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RE: on protocol type - 7/31/2006 10:01:54 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Did I come into this thread to late to fuck the shit out of the spelling Nazi's?...............Dammit!!!!
Ron


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RE: on protocol type - 7/31/2006 10:11:30 PM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

well since no one else has said it... I'll say it...

It's an internet thing, not a lifestyle thing. In the real world we can all pretty much tell who is dominant & who is not & a capital or slashy thingy is the last thing in the world on people's minds. It is only in a written environment that text must be altered in order to make a role immediately known.



Oh no!  OFFline at events, i have two little cards to hold up when i speak. One says "Capped" and one says "lower case".

It keeps me quiet.

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RE: on protocol type - 7/31/2006 10:16:13 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Mavis, that was funny (and not a bad solution). Maybe mention it again to Master, no disrespect to him intended. He's heard it already? It would be worth a spanking - even a punishment, maybe, for me to ask again. What can I say? I may be a born rebel. If I ever get a Master, I could be black and blue all the time. But hey- it'd worth a shot. It's actually not my business. In any case, good to know so that way nobody gets irritated reading your posts ('cuz we'll know it's you, and you're too nice to be mad at). For the record: I would never consider you less submissive if you didn't write that way. But I am obviously not the one you're mainly concerned with pleasing.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/31/2006 10:38:04 PM >

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That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: on protocol type - 7/31/2006 10:37:29 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		I couldn't agree more.  Hence my "chatism" comment.

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: on protocol type - 8/1/2006 2:11:54 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
Ok, i lied about the signs.  But the idea tickles me.  Y/you would not believe the look i got for suggesting signs though..  "just so i can be consistant online and off, Sir.."     cheeky.   i did mis-quote Him calling it a lifestyle thing, rather than an online lifestyle thing. 

Susan, bringing the topic up again, it's been twice already, and i know my limit.  What spanking or punishment?   Doesn't work that way here, i have my choice; obey or vote with my feet.  (yes, it's the little things that catch me up!)

MstrssPassion, Homestead, LA, ditto to A/all.  i would also agree with the "limit" thing, and i did have that limit in that i always said anyone i'd be wanting to serve would not be the type to expect 3rd person speech or other sillies.  LOL.   Never say never.   It turned out to be His one quirk that is very difficult for me.  To T/those who have said hey, it's orders, so don't worry about it,  Thank Y/you! 

But on a wider scale,  how do subs/ slaves deal with orders that make you feel conspicuous, out of place, against the grain?  For instance, if you've been ordered to use 3rd-speak, how did you wrap your mind around it and end up obeying with a whole heart, not just a compliance thing?  will i adjust better if i stop acknowledging i think it's silly?  

(Does my ISP going out for hours at a time mean the fates are trying to tell me something?  This might not be posted for hours, as my modem lights just went out again, cable folks coming tomorrow to fix.)

3.5 hours!   Charter Cable owes me for hang-time!

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RE: on protocol type - 8/1/2006 3:41:59 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mavis
...For instance, if you've been ordered to use 3rd-speak, how did you wrap your mind around it and end up obeying with a whole heart, not just a compliance thing?  will i adjust better if i stop acknowledging i think it's silly?... 


with a slight variation of your question:
"if you've been ordered to_________________, how did you wrap your mind around it and end up obeying with a whole heart, not just a compliance thing?  will i adjust better if i stop acknowledging i think it's silly?" 

obeying with a whole heart, ANYTHING that fills in the above blank is exactly what this slave signed on for.  this slave had no preconceived notions about the use of third person speech--no opinion one way or the other when we discussed it the first time.  the use of third person speech by this slave, among many other things that fill in the above blank, pleases Master, and that's the beginning and end of it right there, regardless of this slave's personal preference.
 
it might be silly to you, or annoying to other posters here, in fact, this slave knows for sure that it annoys other posters, it has even been reported to be responsible for their heads hurting.  there have been a few threads here about it, generally offering more insults than insights, which leads this slave to believe some folks require it to generate a certain amount of public humiliation.
 
you mentioned a couple of things in your OP that might help you to be more accepting of the concept, or any concept that you have a hard time wrapping your head around:
 
#1.  He expects you to respect others roles and the representation of those roles online or off.  insinuating that any particular thing one does at the direction of their Master is "silly" doesn't necessarily show respect for the person or relationship in question.
 
#2.  He wants you to think about what you are typing/saying by making your communication different than that of your "nilla" world...a very common reason third person speech is required by some.
 
for this slave, it is a constant reminder that as a posession of Master, this slave has NO posessions, therefore the words "me", "my", "mine" or "I" are no longer appropriate, but, most importantly, it pleases Master, and this slave is all about pleasing Master.

(in reply to Mavis)
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RE: on protocol type - 8/1/2006 4:36:45 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mavis
However, i have asked Master if i may to use standard punctuation and capitalisations in this forum, given W/we often have several pages of reading here, and was given a solid "No."


Couldn't see an actual question so I assume you have noticed many here preffer reading standard punctuation without all the W/we crappola and where simply offering an explination.

Thanks sweetie but no need. Sure I have my preffrences, but the only other person besides myself for whom that is important is the one who wears My collar. OK sometimes I won't be in the mood to decipher all the /'s and may skip a post or two from those who use it, but thats My business.

Your Master wants you to write that way, write that way, anyone who has problems with it can either lump it or mail your Master and argue the point with him... not YOUR problem sweetie. If anyone can't understand a girl following her Masters order here then just maybe they are in the wrong place

< Message edited by RavenMuse -- 8/1/2006 4:37:22 AM >

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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RE: on protocol type - 8/1/2006 4:51:24 AM   
Kree


Posts: 118
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Erase his link to Castle Realm and maybe he will forget about the online BS.  I detest the C/cap crap, regardless of who orders it.

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RE: on protocol type - 8/1/2006 5:02:29 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

Mavis:  how do subs/ slaves deal with orders that make you feel conspicuous, out of place, against the grain? how did you wrap your mind around it and end up obeying with a whole heart, not just a compliance thing?  will i adjust better if i stop acknowledging i think it's silly? 
 

The short answer: Because it pleases master.

On the flip side... I'm the type of master that wants to hear from my submissive if they are having a problem with something they have been instructed to do & why. Based on that response I may or may not modify the instructions. I am just as concerned with my sub enjoying her service as I am about enjoying her service. If she is uncomfortable with anything I have asked her to do then there is a good chance that neither of us will truly get anything out of the activity.

With you... you think this is silly. Have you told him that you feel this is silly? Did he give you an explanation as to WHY he wants this other than because "I said so!"

As a dominant, I may not explain in detail why I do this or that every time this or that is instructed, but if a time comes that a submissive has a less than positive response to whatever I ask them to do or if they really have questions about it... well then it is time to talk about it is much greater detail. I have really hated it when I have found out that someone has merely endured something I have asked them to do. What good is going to come from someone doing something that they really loathed or as in your case, thought was silly?

So, not sure where to go with this. You were instructed to do this & by gosh not one person on this board has the right to tell you that you should do anything different. Hopefully this is the only thing about your service that you feel silly about. As to making that silly feeling go away... I personally feel that only through him will you find the solution as through truly pleasing him (& knowing that what you do pleases him) will you find that satisfying feeling of serving.

Communication is the key. Time for a little sit down time.



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MstrssPassion


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RE: on protocol type - 8/1/2006 5:12:11 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		I wholeheartedly agree with what you say here RavenMuse. Not a person in the world has the right to question her instructions from her master.
Yet, doesn't she herself have the right to go to her master & tell him that the instruction given is something that she is having a negative reaction to? (especially under the circumstances... a writing style)

People on here have gone off on others about "blind or unquestioning obedience" & never questioning one's master. Though it is typically about much worse scenarios... when it all boils down isn't it still about a sub being told to do something that they don't want to do?

I will add that I really feel this is a a topic that this sub should have with their master because no matter what any of us say... it isn't our place to question THEIR dynamics.

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MstrssPassion


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RE: on protocol type - 8/1/2006 5:21:11 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Well that's up to him. I find I usually skip those posts. It's just too annoying.

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RE: on protocol type - 8/1/2006 5:24:42 AM   
GddssBella


Posts: 343
Joined: 2/24/2004
Status: offline 		G'morning all:


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mavis
He says "It's a matter of communication within the lifestyle."That includes recognizing unique roles and positions, and showing the community respect without making judgments on O/others claims of role. Hence, Anyone that designates Themselves "Dominant" is to be treated as such, whether i agree with said Dom/mes accuracy of claim. In Masters eyes, my making that judgment call is as offensive as the Dominants that tell submissives they are "Not TRUE submissives",  i am not allowed to do so.  It's a fair point.

i like to think unless i am submitting myself to Another, W/we should be having peer-to-peer discussion, not D/s discussion.  Masters point is, if i truly want peer-to-peer communication, then go post in a nilla / neutral/ peer community, not a lifestyle forum. 


Irregardless of what sub culture you're involved in, proper punctuation, sentence structure, and good grammar/spelling are not role dependent. Automatically conferring respect by designation of capitalized words to denote orientation is silly. Respect must be earned. Civility and courtesy may be paramount in one's dealings, but to simply fork over a hard won commodity without any personal interaction in the meat world is an online experience.

I'm rather surprised that your dom makes this a "my way or the highway" type of rule. I wholeheartedly agree that laziness needs to be curtailed and good habits learned. I don't believe that instituting a "chatese" protocol though is the way to do it. I'd seriously consider renegotiating the relationship if such a petty point was made a sticking point. *shrugs* If it makes you happy, ignore this then, lol.


Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...





Bella

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RE: on protocol type - 8/1/2006 5:54:05 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion
Yet, doesn't she herself have the right to go to her master & tell him that the instruction given is something that she is having a negative reaction to? (especially under the circumstances... a writing style)


That would depend on the nature of their dynamic. I would hope there is some way she can approach her Master, discuss the reasons for his decision and help her be comfortable with obaying it rather than just blindly doing so, but for all we know, that discomfort maybe the very reason he is insisting on it. It isn't something 'important' but she isn't comfortable though she is obaying/submitting to it anyhow, good girl!

quote:

I will add that I really feel this is a a topic that this sub should have with their master because no matter what any of us say... it isn't our place to question THEIR dynamics.


Which is why I saw no actual question in the OP, just a girl making herself more comfortable by giving explination whilst following her Masters orders.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
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RE: on protocol type - 8/1/2006 6:45:56 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		beth, thank you, it's was nice to read your comments and encouragement.  i hope i didn't offend with my example of 3-speak, i use that example because it's something that tends to get the same reaction. you've answered the unspoken question.. "do they know how annoying ___ is?"    yes, we do.  

RavenMuse, Your point about "that discomfort maybe the very reason he is insisting on it."  is dead on.  He's not some yutz who delights in seeing me uncomfortable, but there is no case where my pride will come before my obedience, and i like that He's firm on that.

As for skipping the posts that are difficult reading, i understand.  In fact, that was one of my justifications for dropping it,  "It'll only make people skip my posts because the communication style is cumbersome".  As if what i add to a discussion is so critical that it must be read.  <blush>  That went over like a lead balloon.

Oh well, i'm settled on it now.  It's a done deal, so i will hop off the slash box.   Sorry this topic got drug out so long, but maybe it will help someone else down the road.  Thank Y/you A/all for the input, yea and nay, i appreciate the time taken to chip in. 

(in reply to RavenMuse)
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