The Measure of a Dom/me

The Measure of a Dom/me (Full Version)

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LotusSong -> The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 2:39:07 PM)
"The measure of a Domme is how he/she treats the slightest offence". True? False? "Discuss. Tawk amoungst yerselves."- Linda Richards (of Coffee Talk fame)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 5:31:31 PM)
It's a bit too inapplicable even as a platitude.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 5:36:07 PM)
I dont agree with that. Anyone can deal with an offense. A Dom/me is much more than a disciplinarian. The love, support, and knowledge a Dom/me gives is much more measurable to me.

LotusSong -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 5:45:57 PM)
"Measure" meaning fairness and/or quality

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 5:52:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong "Measure" meaning fairness and/or quality Same answer. If you have to re-interpret a platitude, then it's not a workable platitude.

Calandra -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 6:13:01 PM)
Hi LotusSong, good topic! I think the measure of a "person" is how they treat an offense. If someone is quick to anger, easily offended, or unreasonable in the face of a sincere apology, I walk away fast. If someone is slow to anger, difficult to offend, and/or peacable whenever possible, I tend to draw closer... and when/if this person ever DOES take offense, I sit up and listen. It's much harder to pursue peace than it is to wage war...

Cloudz -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 6:21:24 PM)
Calandra - I could not have said it better. I am in complete agreement.

crouchingtigress -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 6:37:33 PM)
exactly[;)] quote: ORIGINAL: Calandra Hi LotusSong, good topic! I think the measure of a "person" is how they treat an offense. If someone is quick to anger, easily offended, or unreasonable in the face of a sincere apology, I walk away fast. If someone is slow to anger, difficult to offend, and/or peacable whenever possible, I tend to draw closer... and when/if this person ever DOES take offense, I sit up and listen. It's much harder to pursue peace than it is to wage war...

LotusSong -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 7:25:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Calandra Hi LotusSong, good topic! I think the measure of a "person" is how they treat an offense. If someone is quick to anger, easily offended, or unreasonable in the face of a sincere apology, I walk away fast. If someone is slow to anger, difficult to offend, and/or peacable whenever possible, I tend to draw closer... and when/if this person ever DOES take offense, I sit up and listen. It's much harder to pursue peace than it is to wage war... Thank you :) I knew SOMEONE would understand the post :)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 7:55:02 PM)
Are you talking about offence as in "wrongdoing/broken law" or as in "lack of regard to others"?

angelic -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 8:07:27 PM)
great topic... very simply for me... if He is slow to find fault with me.. then He has the patience of Job!!! [:D]

Lashra -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 8:18:54 PM)
I look at it this way, I'm not perfect, NO one is and so I don't go looking for faults or perfection. If something bad happens then we talk about it, if someone owes an apology it is given regardless if its Myself or him. We don't point fingers we just talk it out and come to a solution. I personally think totally one sided relationships are really set up to fail. Someone will be short changed in them. We are all human and we all have faults, no one is perfect. So I think if a Dom/me goes off the handle for every small offense, then they are being unrealistic and maybe a bit to touchy. It might be time for them to leave the caffeine alone.[;)] ~Lashra

DoctorDubious -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 8:45:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong "The measure of a Domme is how he/she treats the slightest offence". True? False? "Discuss. Tawk amoungst yerselves."- Linda Richards (of Coffee Talk fame) Hey Lotus Song ... and all... I must say that luckyalbatross makes an excellent point. But, if nobody jumped for platitude-bait on forums, there'd be cobwebs and dust-bunnies all over the forum software in every niche.... So, without further adoooo, #1. the context of the "slightest offence" makes a huge difference #2. your "slightest offense" is another's highest "moral value" #3. the nature and state of the relationship makes a huge difference #4. implicit contracts and agreements vary vastly in relationships, especially the power-exchange ones, which are sooooooo easy to judge and mis-judge from the outside. #5. no offense.... but isn't it kind of a "bozo-idea" to measure another person. I kinda think that BDSM-folk, more than others, should at least struggle in vain to resist this kinda judgemental crap. #6. measure for who? One subs delight is another's crappy domme, eh? #7. Even though I totally share that bird with the 7' wingspans suspicions of platitudes.... here I go anyways... *The only* measure of a domme/dom is how well the relationship works for those in it.** DD

Calandra -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 11:08:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra We don't point fingers we just talk it out and come to a solution. I agree wholeheartedly. Pointing at someone else's actions is usually a quick way to an argument and resulting hurt feelings. It's usually better to focus upon how certain actions/comments make you FEEL, and enlist the person's aid in helping to resolve it.

planomaid -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 11:30:56 PM)
*The only* measure of a domme/dom is how well the relationship works for those in it.** DD [/quote] THAT is the true answer (of just about any relationship that I can think of). The only caveat to that would be the interaction of the people within the relationship to the greater community at large. IF the people did not care for or require the approval of the community, then you are correct, the measure can only be defined within the relationship itself. Otherwise some accomodation may be necessary.

BitaTruble -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/27/2006 11:32:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong "The measure of a Domme is how he/she treats the slightest offence". True? False? This one I would call false. I believe the measure of a (hu)man is in how they behave when no one is looking be they dominant, submissive or something else. 'Slight' and 'offenses' are both too subjective. Celeste

TNstepsout -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/28/2006 1:41:10 AM)
ummmm well I'm also not sure what you mean. I'm kind of thinking "slight offenses" are the ones I don't even bother with so I don't understand how you can measure someone by something they shouldn't be doing. I'm wondering if it wouldn't be better to consider how one treats the greatest of offenses.

wandering4u -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/28/2006 4:43:37 AM)
Treat or not treat the slightest offense, I think misses the point. Consistency (sp) is key. If the relationship allows small offenses, then that's how both parties defined it, if the relationship doesn't, then it does not. Personally, I don't worry too much about the small stuff. Talking it over works well, but when the offense is in the "don't even think about it" category, then it is definitely dealt with.

yourMissTress -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/28/2006 5:36:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong "The measure of a Domme is how he/she treats the slightest offence". True? False? This one I would call false. I believe the measure of a (hu)man is in how they behave when no one is looking be they dominant, submissive or something else. 'Slight' and 'offenses' are both too subjective. Celeste I agree with Celeste.

SaphireLynn -> RE: The Measure of a Dom/me (7/28/2006 5:39:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress exactly[;)] quote: ORIGINAL: Calandra Hi LotusSong, good topic! I think the measure of a "person" is how they treat an offense. If someone is quick to anger, easily offended, or unreasonable in the face of a sincere apology, I walk away fast. If someone is slow to anger, difficult to offend, and/or peacable whenever possible, I tend to draw closer... and when/if this person ever DOES take offense, I sit up and listen. It's much harder to pursue peace than it is to wage war... very wise I agree totally...

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