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The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 10:49:29 AM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

Was just reading a profile where this Woman
had been a Submissive all Her life.

But today She decided since nobody
was paying Her any mind, that
today She was going to be a Financial
Dom.

This is Disturbing, yet i can't help
wondering if this some sort of Personality Disorder?

I Believe some who is Straight all His life
doesn't just wake up oneday and decide he is gay that
day.

Really just a thought.

Always, Ant, & LilBecque.

< Message edited by knees2you -- 7/26/2006 10:51:01 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 10:58:26 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

Just shows you never can tell.......If she's not getting the *attention* she'd like and is off to try* a domly* path..... the best one can hope is that she'll be satisfied........ I'm not at all cynical about that ...*smirks*

agirl

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 2

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 11:03:09 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Why would you leap to "personality disorder"? That's a pretty strong thing and not any real basis for it at all.

You hear subs all the time saying they are giving up and going vanilla. You have tons of vanilla people suddenly signing up to collarme saying they realized yesterday they were really submissive.

SOmeone changing their mind suddenly about their life perspective just shows that they are in a state of identity flux and working out where they want to be. That's nothing about a personality disorder.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 3

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 11:28:09 AM

Sekhemet

Posts: 127
Joined: 7/10/2004
From: Canada
Status: offline

Seems to Me people "wake up and realize they're gay" all the time. Indeed it was quite a fashionable thing to be doing for ohhh about a decade there.
Also LOTS of people within the community start out on one end of the spectrum and then in time decide and realize that they would be far more comfortable on the other end of it, or somewhere in the middle of it.

What I personally find disturbing is your jumping to judgement calls which you are completely out of line in making, on many levels and for many reasons. An oppinion is fine, and tolerated when it is your own - but when you do as you have done on the first post of this thread; that is called a personal attack, and really has no place here.
If you do not agree with and are not conmfortable with someone you don't need to send them a message - But you are also NOT welcome to be referring to people in any manner becoming a psychiatrist unless, you are one.
This would thus be a reminder ... If you have nothing constructive to add ... shut up.
Good day.
XxoxX

_____________________________

http://www.sinpages.com
Where fetish and desire are explored

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 11:39:26 AM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sekhemet

Seems to Me people "wake up and realize they're gay" all the time. Indeed it was quite a fashionable thing to be doing for ohhh about a decade there.
Also LOTS of people within the community start out on one end of the spectrum and then in time decide and realize that they would be far more comfortable on the other end of it, or somewhere in the middle of it.

What I personally find disturbing is your jumping to judgement calls which you are completely out of line in making, on many levels and for many reasons. An oppinion is fine, and tolerated when it is your own - but when you do as you have done on the first post of this thread; that is called a personal attack, and really has no place here.
If you do not agree with and are not conmfortable with someone you don't need to send them a message - But you are also NOT welcome to be referring to people in any manner becoming a psychiatrist unless, you are one.
This would thus be a reminder ... If you have nothing constructive to add ... shut up.
Good day.
XxoxX

I think the OP was simply stating a thought or a question,not a flaming war.However you definitely got your panties in a wad ! What are you the posting police?..Having a bad day?.....I hope your day and attitude improve..be well..Tempting

(in reply to Sekhemet)

Post #: 5

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 12:06:54 PM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

knees2you,

Besides posting here, I'm just short of a 10 year membership on another site that includes BDSMers. I can truly understand how the transition you speak of can be misunderstood. A while back, I decided to sub for a while to better understand what submission was all about so that hopefully I would come to understand my counterparts better. When I became a member on the above mentioned site, it was during those 5 years that I subbed. So of course, there was a name change involved; however, I included my sub name on my profile, not intending to hiding anything, but clarify.

Well . . . since everyone had known me as a sub and I come waltzing into chat as a Domme all of a sudden, the remarks I received were the typical run-of-the mill negative assumptions I was fully aware that Id be bombarded with. Few people knew Id been in the Scene since 1982, had been a Domme from the beginning, took a lil side trip subbing for 5 years to learn more about subs first-hand, and now all of a sudden Im "Insta-Domme."

Perhaps thats the case with this person you mention in your post so I'll clump your remark about a personality disorder with the ones I received because I took your remark as nothing more than sarcasm. But on a cautionary note, it's better to get more facts before we jump to our own conclusions.

LeatherBentOne

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 6

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 12:16:33 PM

KennelDeSade2

Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sekhemet
Seems to Me people "wake up and realize they're gay" all the time. Indeed it was quite a fashionable thing to be doing for ohhh about a decade there.

Yeah, then AIDS was identified and that fell apart real fast.
But one thing I just realized is that one of the most positive things about this kind of group, is that it does serve to remind us of a lot of things we may not have thought of in quite some time, and the reminders keep the old mental pathways clear of debris. And can keep us from jumping to really studid conclusions. lol

_____________________________

Rules? Just one: I say, she does.
Everything else, is just details.

(in reply to Sekhemet)

Post #: 7

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 12:25:08 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

I really dont make judgements to how other people want to get off....i guess because i dont want them judging me ....plus i dont really see a point.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to KennelDeSade2)

Post #: 8

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 1:14:57 PM

indigo302

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/28/2004
From: Delaware
Status: offline

Nah it's not a personality disorder - she's short on cash....and what easier way to get some than to have male slaves sending it, since the Doms won't! *chuckles*

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 9

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 1:25:37 PM

kiska

Posts: 160
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Or ... Ya know ... Maybe she's feeling a little bitter about all the Doms ignoring her and she was being sarcastic?

Who knows ...

If she isn't hurting you, why do you care?

_____________________________

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue ...

(in reply to indigo302)

Post #: 10

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 1:32:55 PM

IndigoDadesi

Posts: 185
Status: offline

I have a friend who thought she was straight for a very long time, until she realized she really wasnt interested in men and decided she was a lesbian. For years she thought this. Then she met a man in her 40s who flicked the switch I guess and now she's decidedly bisexual. I guess it just depends on where you are in your life and what you are capable of being open to.

_____________________________

'"Where do we go when we die?" asks Billy. "I don't know. Where are we now?" is the gypsy's reply.'

(in reply to kiska)

Post #: 11

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 1:35:43 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IndigoDadesi

I have a friend who thought she was straight for a very long time, until she realized she really wasnt interested in men and decided she was a lesbian. For years she thought this. Then she met a man in her 40s who flicked the switch I guess and now she's decidedly bisexual. I guess it just depends on where you are in your life and what you are capable of being open to.

Idigo..............do I know you???

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to IndigoDadesi)

Post #: 12

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 1:46:23 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KennelDeSade2

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sekhemet
Seems to Me people "wake up and realize they're gay" all the time. Indeed it was quite a fashionable thing to be doing for ohhh about a decade there.

Yeah, then AIDS was identified and that fell apart real fast.

Sekhemet:
I was living right in the centre of the Vancouver gay community through the 70s and 80s. This misconception that a bunch of straight people became gay because it was fashionable is such utter rot.

More people came out as gay, and stopped denying their homosexuality, or bisexuality, at that time simply because the times were changing and they were more comfortable doing so. They were also finally getting the information they needed to make the connection between their feelings and the label.

It's no different now with BDSM.

I came out as a sub around 6 years ago, because the internet allowed me access to what I needed to explore my feelings and realize it in reality. I didn't just become kinky because it's fashionable, I've always been that way. Sure, to many people it looks right now that myself, and many other people, are suddenly turning kinky because it's fashionable. Hogwash.

As for the AIDS reference, KennelDeSade, may I ask if you were being sarcastic?

_____________________________

Cin

quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to KennelDeSade2)

Post #: 13

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 3:49:56 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

Brace yourself LA....I agree 100% with what you said

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 14

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 5:57:55 PM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

In one of the Communities i was in,
If the The Order of the Group
New that someone was Submissive all
their lives and suddenly 'Woke up"
and became a Dom, They would not get to
play with anybody in the Group
and they where to show Dom leadership first!

But then like I said just flip the Switch and "PooF"

Not trying to affend anybody just wanted people's thoughts.

If She never swung a Paddle before that day,
She wouldn't be hitting me!

Ant, and LilBecque

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 15

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 6:59:52 PM

ICGsteve

Posts: 202
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline

It just goes to show how people play around at BDSM without getting in touch with who they are. There are only two possibilites, either this person has no clue who they are, or they can be a switch but either does not know it or is not honest about it. No matter which one is true, this is a person to stay away from.

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 16

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/26/2006 7:24:51 PM

TheShadows

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline

What's the difference? You woke up one day and decided you needed something more/different than vanilla, and that you were going to take the steps to make it happen. Why can't anyone else decide something isn't right for them, and take the steps to change it?

It's not a personality disorder for someone to have internal conflict over what's right for them. Just as some gays and lesbians hide in the closet for long periods of time before coming out, I'm sure it wasn't something she just decided this morning when she rolled out of bed. Just because she decided to go Dom doesn't mean she hadn't been contemplating it for quite some time.

I'm proud to tell everyone that after struggling with the question/decision for months, the lightbulb came on over my head during a flogging, the last one of my 4 years as a "submissive". If going Dom is what makes her happy, I say more power to her. It was the best decision I ever made.

Maybe if you spent a little more time worrying about yourself and what makes you happy, you'd be less disturbed by people who're concentrating on doing what's right for them.

MrsShadows

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 17

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/27/2006 12:16:48 AM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

IGC Steve It just goes to show how people play around at BDSM without getting in touch with who they are. There are only two possibilites, either this person has no clue who they are, or they can be a switch but either does not know it or is not honest about it. No matter which one is true, this is a person to stay away from.

Very nicely put!

Ant and LilBecque

(in reply to TheShadows)

Post #: 18

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/27/2006 5:30:41 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

In one of the Communities i was in,
If the The Order of the Group
New that someone was Submissive all
their lives and suddenly 'Woke up"
and became a Dom, They would not get to
play with anybody in the Group
and they where to show Dom leadership first!

But then like I said just flip the Switch and "PooF"

Not trying to affend anybody just wanted people's thoughts.

If She never swung a Paddle before that day,
She wouldn't be hitting me!

Ant, and LilBecque

I understand how that might cause concern, but try thinking of it a little differently. There are newcomers to BDSM who have never swung a paddle who have to learn. They have to start somewhere. In many respects an experienced sub has much more knowledge to start with than most newbies. She knows exactly the kinds of thoughts, feelings, and emotional responses a sub might have. She's been around experienced Doms and knows how things should be done.

It tends to confuse people when a person makes a drastic change in their life, especially when that change seems to be directly opposite to the way they were percieved before. But that's just because our brains like to put people, things, experiences, into neat little boxes for organization and storage. But it just doesn't work that way.

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 19

RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. - 7/27/2006 5:32:32 AM

ClassAct2006

Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

People differ. I've always been submissive and never not understood it or practised it but some people aren't even sexual until quite an advanced age and some people are asexual.
Also a lot of financial dommes aren't dominant, it's just a way to make money.

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 20

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