Male Slave- service only situation (Full Version)

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LotusSong -> Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 9:04:17 AM)

In reading profiles.. I have come across this situation and it makes me wonder:

A Domme will say she is bisexual, looking for a male slave and the male slave should expect nothing other than to do their chores and be happy with that.

Now there is usually a female slave in the mix that is favored.  And you just GOTTA know the guy is thinking “ooo two for one!!! Maybe I can watch.”

My question is to the male slaves out there… unless you are testosterone deprived or otherwise gelded..   is just being  in service to this degree without no sexual outlet and in a position of being on the outside while the femsub is being tended to enough?

I understand cuckholding  I don’t do it.  But I would like to know what attraction this situation holds and would you do it for long term?

I’d also like to hear from the Dommes that look for/or have this situation and would like to know “How’s that workin’ for ya”?



KarbonCopy -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 9:11:11 AM)

I couldnt do it. But i'm not very serivce orientated.

I work too hard for a living to just work when I get home.
I demand fun out of my life, and relaxation.

Besides, I could have that kind of standing with a partner. That would basically be like being a butler. someone that doesnt mean anything.

How fun is that?

Its just female dominants that figure they can get free work out of people because they're lazy. (Ya thats right I said it)
We all have feelings. All want to be loved and appreciated.



lanwolf -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 9:56:11 AM)

I have to agree with Karbon, I could not do this and I am not only a heavy masochist but also love to do service. I have to wonder about the Dom/mes that I have seen online and real life that say it’s about Their needs only. To me that is a one sided relationship and they just do not work, been there done that and eventually you just burn out. Everyone needs to feel loved and wanted everyone has needs its part of being human. For me at least I have needs that have to be met when they are I turn that around and work that much harder to please and serve my Dom/mes.



Cloudz -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 10:07:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

I couldnt do it. But i'm not very serivce orientated.

I work too hard for a living to just work when I get home.
I demand fun out of my life, and relaxation.

Besides, I could have that kind of standing with a partner. That would basically be like being a butler. someone that doesnt mean anything.

How fun is that?

Its just female dominants that figure they can get free work out of people because they're lazy. (Ya thats right I said it)
We all have feelings. All want to be loved and appreciated.



Oh Karbon,

I am not sure why I feel compelled to reply to this..but I do. I will assume that you are not trashing ALL female Dominants and that you are not saying male Dominants are excluded from the self centered asshole club. Is this true?



mp072004 -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 10:29:25 AM)

First, some male submissives have and want relationships that are not confined to service, but also do not involve sex with a dominant woman. When I top men, I hit them, I humiliate them, and we do lots of other fun things that don't involve anybody orgasming.

Further, both men who interact with me purely as domestic servants and men who I play with and do not fuck can have sexual outlets. I don't demand that they remain celibate. They just can't have sex with me.

How do pure service relationships work for a dominant? For me, pretty damn good. If a person is willing to clean my bathroom for a few words of appreciation and approval, I'd be nuts to turn it down. I can't explain why some people want to provide simple service, but I have received enough emails offering it to conclude that it's not exactly rare.

Monica



subfever -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 10:30:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

In reading profiles.. I have come across this situation and it makes me wonder:

A Domme will say she is bisexual, looking for a male slave and the male slave should expect nothing other than to do their chores and be happy with that.

Now there is usually a female slave in the mix that is favored.  And you just GOTTA know the guy is thinking “ooo two for one!!! Maybe I can watch.”

My question is to the male slaves out there… unless you are testosterone deprived or otherwise gelded..   is just being  in service to this degree without no sexual outlet and in a position of being on the outside while the femsub is being tended to enough?

I understand cuckholding  I don’t do it.  But I would like to know what attraction this situation holds and would you do it for long term?

I’d also like to hear from the Dommes that look for/or have this situation and would like to know “How’s that workin’ for ya”?


Service only? No way! Libido and ego are what drives my desires to submit, not damaged self-esteem and/or negative emotions that I'm trying to process.



LotusSong -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 10:54:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mp072004

First, some male submissives have and want relationships that are not confined to service, but also do not involve sex with a dominant woman. When I top men, I hit them, I humiliate them, and we do lots of other fun things that don't involve anybody orgasming.

Further, both men who interact with me purely as domestic servants and men who I play with and do not fuck can have sexual outlets. I don't demand that they remain celibate. They just can't have sex with me.

How do pure service relationships work for a dominant? For me, pretty damn good. If a person is willing to clean my bathroom for a few words of appreciation and approval, I'd be nuts to turn it down. I can't explain why some people want to provide simple service, but I have received enough emails offering it to conclude that it's not exactly rare.

Monica


I understand.  How long do these guys stay with you. Is it a few hours? On occasion? What I am wondeirng about.. does this situation work long term- day after day?  Or is this just fantasy?



TeeGO -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 2:17:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever
Service only? No way! Libido and ego are what drives my desires to submit, not damaged self-esteem and/or negative emotions that I'm trying to process.


Interesting points and I think you may be right.  Although I do think there are other healthy reasons for submission and service.  I love woman and desire to make them happy (that is the ones I find worthy and not universally.)

I do not, and cannot get the no strings servce idea.   I am one that believes that I, as a sub, need to wrap my mind around the concept; "It's all about the Domme."  That would be were my mind is focused and all thoughts of my own pleasure are buried under thoughts of pleasing her.  BUT, this submission can only come about from me when I have learned to trust the Domme KNOWING she cares for me and takes Her responsibilty for me as seriously as I do for her.  That is who I want to serve and what I seek.



PlayfulOne -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 2:27:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

I couldnt do it. But i'm not very serivce orientated.

I work too hard for a living to just work when I get home.
I demand fun out of my life, and relaxation.

Besides, I could have that kind of standing with a partner. That would basically be like being a butler. someone that doesnt mean anything.

How fun is that?

Its just female dominants that figure they can get free work out of people because they're lazy. (Ya thats right I said it)
We all have feelings. All want to be loved and appreciated.



Oh Karbon,

I am not sure why I feel compelled to reply to this..but I do. I will assume that you are not trashing ALL female Dominants and that you are not saying male Dominants are excluded from the self centered asshole club. Is this true?


Of course not Cloudz,  but as he painted youi with the brush that all you want is someone to do your dirty work, we get painted with the brrush that says all we want is kinky sex.

K



Cloudz -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 2:49:09 PM)

Playful,

I suppose we can only hope for the day that people are accepted as individuals and no longer lumped by stereotype...by educating one person at a time.




Archer -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 3:07:38 PM)

There are servcie only types of both genders, what inspires them is often discribed as the same thing that motivates people to do charity work, people who are called to the preisthood, who have a calling for social work, who feel the pull towards military service.  And for those who are escewing the ones who do as damaged or lacking self esteam, I say BS.

I get that some are just not wired that way, I get that some require sexual components to their D/s, but lets not judge or try to diagnos what's "Wrong" with them that do not.

There is historic precident for exactly such loving service of a slave for their Master, It's even addressed in the Bible Old Testament, that if a slave says they do not wish to be freed, that they love their master take them to the doorway and pierce their ear with an awl and he shall be you slave forever.  considering male pronouns in both cases it would have to mean a sexless Master slave relationship where there was a love of a "family" sort, that took hold.

Also KarbonKopy the butler line is lacking Basicly a butler someone who doesn't mean anything?????????
How many times have we seen the Butler become part of a family an integral part where their retirement years are paid for by their former employer? Where the Butler is invited to graduations, weddings and every other family events.
Butl;ers are rarely someone who doesn't matter they often have the love of the entire family.
It's just not the sexual love we tend to value so much.

I have a boi a lesbian who I fill the role of Daddy for we do have some SM time but sex is not part of the agreement, I fill a very much parental role for her in my leather family, and she provides services for  me at various times, she is somewhat in an apprentice role learning and paying tuition through service for what I guide her through learning. Sex I make sure she has opportunities to fullfill herself in healthy sexual relationships.

In Leather

Archer




stardancer00 -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 3:15:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TeeGO



I do not, and cannot get the no strings servce idea.   I am one that believes that I, as a sub, need to wrap my mind around the concept; "It's all about the Domme."  That would be were my mind is focused and all thoughts of my own pleasure are buried under thoughts of pleasing her.  BUT, this submission can only come about from me when I have learned to trust the Domme KNOWING she cares for me and takes Her responsibilty for me as seriously as I do for her.  That is who I want to serve and what I seek.


The need to attain pleasure through the pleasing of the Dominant is true of both males and females who are submissive.  The need for intimacy is also a shared need.  However, humanity is diverse and  complex, and the fulfillment in submission for some comes through the mere act of service itself without the sexual components. For some, there is a sublimation in which the mere act of service serves to channel their sexual need as well, as in a kind of alternate form of chastity.  But this is not always necessarily so, and the mere act of service can and does bring fulfillment to some.



LotusSong -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 3:29:18 PM)

I'd still like to hear from a male slave that is in a Service only situation. LTR.  Is it possible to be happy in so doing? 

Some profiles even go so far as that they are to address the dommes whim and expect nothing. Not even bdsm play.  At this point in what has been discussed so far, we are getting what may motivate but not for how long. 

I submit that the male will eventually get tired of it all, without any kind of recognition (not necessarily sex).  Even a junk yard dog deserves a decent meal, water and a pat on the head for a job well done.



Cloudz -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 3:35:01 PM)

Archer,

Thank you for your well thought out commentary - it adds a deeper level to the thread, and I am in complete agreeement with you.

Be well



subfever -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 4:32:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

There are servcie only types of both genders, what inspires them is often discribed as the same thing that motivates people to do charity work, people who are called to the preisthood, who have a calling for social work, who feel the pull towards military service.  And for those who are escewing the ones who do as damaged or lacking self esteam, I say BS.


It's true that some people are motivated to altruistic endeavors. However, their benevolent work is for the benefit of society or mankind, not an idolized individual.

When we're talking about a service only one-on-one arrangement, and the servant isn't expecting anything in return other than simply having the "privilege" of serving; you can bet your last dollar that there's a lack of libido and ego on the part of the servant.

Somewhere along the way, his/her healthy self-esteem either became damaged, or never developed to begin with.  

   





KarbonCopy -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 4:36:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

I couldnt do it. But i'm not very serivce orientated.

I work too hard for a living to just work when I get home.
I demand fun out of my life, and relaxation.

Besides, I could have that kind of standing with a partner. That would basically be like being a butler. someone that doesnt mean anything.

How fun is that?

Its just female dominants that figure they can get free work out of people because they're lazy. (Ya thats right I said it)
We all have feelings. All want to be loved and appreciated.



Oh Karbon,

I am not sure why I feel compelled to reply to this..but I do. I will assume that you are not trashing ALL female Dominants and that you are not saying male Dominants are excluded from the self centered asshole club. Is this true?


Of course I meant all Domimants are like this. What did you think I meant? I mean sure, its absolutely 100% true that you're all the exact same and deserve to be lumped into one steriotype :p

Seriously use your head the next time you feel "Compelled".




TeeGO -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 5:24:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TeeGO

quote:

ORIGINAL: subfever
Service only? No way! Libido and ego are what drives my desires to submit, not damaged self-esteem and/or negative emotions that I'm trying to process.


Interesting points and I think you may be right. Although I do think there are other healthy reasons for submission and service. I love woman and desire to make them happy (that is the ones I find worthy and not universally.)

I do not, and cannot get the no strings service idea. I am one that believes that I, as a sub, need to wrap my mind around the concept; "It's all about the Domme." That would be were my mind is focused and all thoughts of my own pleasure are buried under thoughts of pleasing her. BUT, this submission can only come about from me when I have learned to trust the Domme KNOWING she cares for me and takes Her responsibility for me as seriously as I do for her. That is who I want to serve and what I seek.

I'm quoting myself because I merely want to point out I did not mention sex in my post although that is what two responses to my post were centering on.

I'm talking a D/s relationship. Sex may, or may not, be a part of that. The no-strings idea, where labor is performed and nothing, not even a thank you, is given back, that type of thing is often asked for. I do not understand it and frankly anyone offering such "service" would make me question their mental health. However, the bottom line, more power to them. If they are happy with it, I'm happy for them. Not that I agree with it but it's none of my business. But in a public forum, I'll offer my opinion while not focusing on any individual.



Cloudz -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 5:29:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

I couldnt do it. But i'm not very serivce orientated.

I work too hard for a living to just work when I get home.
I demand fun out of my life, and relaxation.

Besides, I could have that kind of standing with a partner. That would basically be like being a butler. someone that doesnt mean anything.

How fun is that?

Its just female dominants that figure they can get free work out of people because they're lazy. (Ya thats right I said it)
We all have feelings. All want to be loved and appreciated.



Oh Karbon,

I am not sure why I feel compelled to reply to this..but I do. I will assume that you are not trashing ALL female Dominants and that you are not saying male Dominants are excluded from the self centered asshole club. Is this true?


Of course I meant all Domimants are like this. What did you think I meant? I mean sure, its absolutely 100% true that you're all the exact same and deserve to be lumped into one steriotype :p

Seriously use your head the next time you feel "Compelled".




Karbon,

Perhaps you should say what you mean with clarity and not leave it up to the individual reader to assume you are either an ignorant ass or a wise sage.



MdmSarah -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 6:10:13 PM)

A well trained butler (footman, maid, houseboy, etc) is actually quite a beautiful addition to a BDSM household.   Have you ever been to a very upscale restaurant with a well trained staff?  Watching them serve is akin to watching a well choreographed dance.

However, in my experience, few male submissives do not ultimately require some level of either SM play or sex play, or both, in order to perform service on a regular basis.  My former live in was houseboy/butler to me, and served in that capacity beautifully.   However, the boy needed discipline (SM play) on a somewhat regular basis to keep everything on an even keel. 



mstrjx -> RE: Male Slave- service only situation (7/24/2006 6:22:22 PM)

I believe it is in the nature of the slave and what they feel their purpose is.  I don't want to get into nitpicking definitions, but I see a slave as someone who serves unconditionally.  If the slave feels that the dominant is worth serving (the person who the slave has chosen to serve), then obedience is their mandate, whatever form that might take.  Sex might be involved, it might not.  If the slave's needs (whatever they might be) are being met, then why not?  If those needs have to do with knowing that their service is valued (again, in whatever form that might take), then again why not?

Just my take on things.

Jeff



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