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RE: Double Standards - 7/23/2006 6:02:27 PM   
peterK50


Posts: 433
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline 		If I had a nickle for every male Dom that contacted me & had straight in this profile & was not looking for males I could retire. Most males I have served who also have female subs we were kept quite seperate. Male subs for "Hetero" Male Doms seems to be a dirty little secret.

_____________________________

Religion Is About Seeking Knowledge, Not Knowing All The Answers.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Double Standards - 7/23/2006 6:40:16 PM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

It is all about Master and His wishes--not about you.


heh... thats a rather one sided un fofilling relationship if its all about one person... which is really a common misconsetion about the lifestyle...

any way.. yeah a double standerd mostly because a woman with another woman doesnt seem as taboo as a man with another man

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Double Standards - 7/23/2006 9:24:13 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

It is all about Master and His wishes--not about you.


Yup, what She said

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Double Standards - 7/23/2006 9:28:12 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

heh... thats a rather one sided un fofilling relationship if its all about one person... which is really a common misconsetion about the lifestyle...


Then, may i ask - what is submission to you? It's not all about one person, but for me my devotion to Master is what brings me fulfillment. For me it is all about Him and when i lose sight of that, i have lost sight of my purpose as His sub/slave.


_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Double Standards - 7/24/2006 12:16:53 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		There are plenty of men actually who are interested in sharing the domina with another man=cuckolds I think we call them;  I got so many of those requests that I had to write it in as a limit of mine; or there are plenty of slaves who submit to her rules no matter how unfair the rules seem to the outsider.   M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 7/24/2006 12:18:14 AM >

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Double Standards - 7/24/2006 12:36:18 AM   
MissDiandSirHugh


Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline 		Just on another side of this with the two of us being Dominant and also Bi-Sexual then if we do find a male who after we have meet and talked then decides that he would serve the two of us then we indeed would take him into our service for a 24/7 relationship because for us this life style is not just a sexual thing at all.
If the male can do the chores set for him and do them as they should be done then why turn our backs on him to look for a female who may not do the chore as well or take a lot longer to get it as we wish.


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HoRoo for now from Us both and enjoy all you read even if you don"t agree with us or others.
Knowledge is no Burden to Carry

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Double Standards - 7/24/2006 2:03:18 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		This reminds me of a poly vs monogamous argument. MHoo is in effect saying that in this case, the Dom is setting the tone by wanting another female slave. That is not being negative about those who share their slaves. I know that I set the tone with my slave and wouldn’t allow sexual forms of sharing, but that is just me. I set the standards. At the same time, I have done sexual MFM with another slave and her husband and enjoyed it. He and I were friendly and I respected him, but it was a turn-on for me to have her do things with him watching. We all were happy. If a couple wants a MFM or a FMF, more power to them. There is no double standard, just preferences which generally favor FMF in male Dom/female sub relationships, I believe.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to MissDiandSirHugh)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Double Standards - 7/24/2006 12:44:12 PM   
DixieBellle


Posts: 20
Joined: 5/26/2006
From: middle TN
Status: offline 		I wanted to thank you all very much for your replies. I am kind of new to the site and board, although not new to the lifestyle. I kinda feel like a bad sub for thinking this at all but now i have it out there and Master and i will have a better understanding of how to handle the situation.

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Double Standards - 7/24/2006 1:25:39 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DixieBellle

I have had this issue in my mind for a while now but have really had no one to ask. First off, I will give my background. I am married/collared very happily, to my Master of four yrs. We have been toying with the idea of adding a female sub to our play, which is something that we both want. It also seems to be a common occurance among partners per the many ads here looking for a "sister sub" . My question is why do you never see, or with less frequency, a couple seeking another male? I have to admit that this fantasy is attractive to me but having mentioned to Him, it is not going to happen as He is dead set against it. Is this a double standard to you? Is it fair?


Its a double standard sure and its not fair... but thats precisely what D/S and M/S is all about.

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to DixieBellle)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Double Standards - 7/24/2006 1:32:52 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Damn my eyes, I got double standards........

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Wildfleurs)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Double Standards - 7/24/2006 4:30:36 PM   
Zenar


Posts: 39
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline 		Just because no one else has said it.

Perhaps it is seems to be a double standard because as a rule it takes a lot more work to find a willing extra female than it is to find an extra willing male? Ergo, you will see lots of people looking for a third female compaired to looking for a third male.

So which one is realy the double standard?

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Double Standards - 7/24/2006 4:34:13 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		As a male I can tell you with certainty that it IS a double standard and I know exactly why a male will not go for it.  However, that is the arrangement you have chosen so you are going to have to live with it. 

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Double Standards - 7/25/2006 8:08:32 PM   
DixieBellle


Posts: 20
Joined: 5/26/2006
From: middle TN
Status: offline 		yes Sir Kenin, i agree and am happy to accept my role. Master read this thread and we have been discussing both our thoughts on it. Nothing is going to change with his decision but i find that i feel better just by getting it out there. ty all for your replies

_____________________________

The essence of submission is that your Masters happiness is essential to your own

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Double Standards - 7/25/2006 8:42:03 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		In general there isn't heavy demand for males or malesubs.

I agree too, that most couples look to include another female, not a male. (Based on the profiles I've seen.)

Peterk50's "dirty little secret," however, if true, is quite a revelation.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 7/25/2006 8:44:26 PM >

(in reply to DixieBellle)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Double Standards - 7/25/2006 8:47:18 PM   
abytchgoddess4u


Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DixieBellle
I kinda feel like a bad sub for thinking this at all but now i have it out there and Master and i will have a better understanding of how to handle the situation.


Don't feel like a "bad sub", you've brought up a valid point.

I myself will prefer in my eventual LTR to have my slave and any number of other subs for my use and pleasure. I doubt that I will use them sexually, but I at least want a butler and masseur. I really believe that no one person can meet *ALL* of our needs and it's important to be honest about that with ourselves.

ETA: I'm straight and all those subs will be men...I don't play with women.

< Message edited by abytchgoddess4u -- 7/25/2006 8:50:23 PM >

_____________________________

"Everything in the Universe Is within you.
Ask all from yourself." Rumi

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women."
George Sand

(in reply to DixieBellle)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Double Standards - 7/25/2006 9:28:03 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DixieBellle

I have had this issue in my mind for a while now but have really had no one to ask. First off, I will give my background. I am married/collared very happily, to my Master of four yrs. We have been toying with the idea of adding a female sub to our play, which is something that we both want. It also seems to be a common occurance among partners per the many ads here looking for a "sister sub" . My question is why do you never see, or with less frequency, a couple seeking another male? I have to admit that this fantasy is attractive to me but having mentioned to Him, it is not going to happen as He is dead set against it. Is this a double standard to you? Is it fair?


I can't understand any conception of power exchange relationships which doesn't feature and rely upon a range of double standards.

Yes, in a given case what you describe could represent a double standard. That's a good thing. Double standards aren't just really nice for power exchange, they make it possible.

Is what you describe fair?

No. Nor is it not fair.

I think that any relationship, vanilla or kinky, in which either party is asking the "fair" question is either A. In trouble or B. maybe healthy as a horse but not any kind of relationship I would care to be involved with.

The best analogy I can think of now is an anlogy betweem adult power-exchange relationships on the one hand and parent/minor offspring relationships on the other.

I've been a parent a long time and I take my responsibilites there as sacred and the joys I find there sublime. Nothing any human being could do or be could ever put him in the position of rightly claiming "I am this and I have done this so I deserve the sort of sublime joys Noah enjoys or else it isn't fair."

Is there anyone who wouldn't find such a claim idiotic?

And by the way I am no better than that person. I don't imagine that I "deserve these wonderful beings in my life counting on me and delighting me." It isn't fair. It isn't unfair. I'm just glad it IS.

Any parent who claimed: "I am this and I've done this so it isn't FAIR that I change diapers, get spit up on, get awakened in the night." Only a morally tiny person would credit such thoughts in the first place, though they may flit through the heads of many sleep-deprived parents.

There are some kinds of relationships where to my mind fairness just doesn't exist as a criterion. Love relationships are one type. Power exchange relationships are another.

It isn't fair. It isn't not fair. It just is and it should proceed based on something very much different than balancing things on a scale and worrying about whether the numbers add up to equivalence.



(in reply to DixieBellle)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Double Standards - 7/25/2006 9:31:36 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Submotive

quote:

heh... thats a rather one sided un fofilling relationship if its all about one person... which is really a common misconsetion about the lifestyle...


Then, may i ask - what is submission to you? It's not all about one person, but for me my devotion to Master is what brings me fulfillment. For me it is all about Him and when i lose sight of that, i have lost sight of my purpose as His sub/slave.



The words "brings me fullfillment, speaks to the fact that it *is* about you as well.  Nothing wrong with that.  But if it wasnt fulfilling you , would you be devoted?

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Double Standards - 7/25/2006 10:02:44 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Yes wouldn't it be nice to have 10 slaves at your disposal.
If you're rich and poly that may work for you.
It is a double standard. But you have to discuss all of this *before* the Collar goes on.
After that you're his Property.
I'm not poly so this really isn't an issue for me.
I don't understand how one can have more than one slave.
But that's me.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 38
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