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D versus s - 7/23/2006 10:49:05 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Do male dominants look down upon male submissives? Female down upon female?
 
This thought came to my mind while perusing some older threads; one male dominant admitted that when he sees a male submissive, he had the urge to tell them to get up off their knees.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots
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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 11:24:39 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I am sure there is bias by many people in BDSM. I judge people as people and not as a category. If a male sub is on his knees, I couldn't care less. As long as he isn't on my knees.

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Boycott Whales!

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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 11:28:40 AM   
NastyDaddy


Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline 		male submissive... what is that, is it animal, mineral or vegetable, is it bigger than a breadbox?  




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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 11:28:50 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I don't see Dominance or submission from a gender perspective... So it's never been an issue for me.  However, for some it is an issue

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 11:30:36 AM   
APiratesMistress


Posts: 78
Joined: 7/8/2006
Status: offline 		I don't get frustrated when I see a female sub on her knees. To me, it only matters that they are where they feel they should be, where they feel the most complete. Male or female, Domme or sub, it doesn't matter really, as long as they're happy with where they are.

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Mistress Malia

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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 11:34:17 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I am sure there is bias by many people in BDSM. I judge people as people and not as a category. If a male sub is on his knees, I couldn't care less. As long as he isn't on my knees.


LOL Estring

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Estring)
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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 11:35:27 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy

male submissive... what is that, is it animal, mineral or vegetable, is it bigger than a breadbox?  


While I have met one or two that could qualify as a vegetable..........

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to NastyDaddy)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 11:49:25 AM   
SavageEu


Posts: 197
Joined: 7/8/2006
Status: offline 		The only male Sub I look down on is one that I know and I look down on him for many valid reasons heh, not because he is male. From one perspective I would say that I do not look down on someone for being a sub especially admitting it openly. Male or Female its hard to make that statement without anyone vanilla thinking 'Weak willed loser'. Saying you're Dominant is easy, that can just be passed off as being strong willed most of the time in the world. But saying your Submissive is inviting a whole lot of prejudgment of what are you like to the outside world.

I guess saying it on this particular forum is not quite so tramatic but to actually answer your question, I assume that by identifying as a Sub male or female, they are trying to express who they are which is worthy of respect. Though I get the undercurrent that some question whether a male can be a 'real' Sub or not. I admit that I mainly have contact with female Subs since that is my leaning and that the one male Sub I know isn't really submissive in the 'I want to please' way its more of 'I want to be tortured in this particular fashion according to these rules, but only if it make my Mistress happy' sort of way.

I tried being a Sub at one time and found that I like pain but I did not find pleasure in serving at all, oh no, quite the opposite.

< Message edited by SavageEu -- 7/23/2006 11:50:33 AM >

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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 12:04:16 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

dominants look down upon male submissives? Female down upon female?

This thought came to my mind while perusing some older threads; one male dominant admitted that when he sees a male submissive, he had the urge to tell them to get up off their knees.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Do male dominants look down upon male submissives? Female down upon female?

This thought came to my mind while perusing some older threads; one male dominant admitted that when he sees a male submissive, he had the urge to tell them to get up off their knees.

Many do. In fact, many female subs look down on male subs- they have an ideal that male = dominant and therefore a male submissive is somehow completely wrong and weak and bad.

Luckily, there's plenty who don't and realize how silly it is to look down on someone based on their relationship orientation due to gender.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 12:07:30 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Do male dominants look down upon male submissives? Female down upon female?
 
This thought came to my mind while perusing some older threads; one male dominant admitted that when he sees a male submissive, he had the urge to tell them to get up off their knees.


I have found that there are huge gender biases on both sides, but more among male Dominants---now I can tell you,I would never see it from the likes of Raven, IronBear, or Knight---however, it seems many Doms do not understand the male submissive dynamic--it hardly makes them less male--it means they on the opposite side of the Yin---submission like Dominance should be viewed as the dynamic, the Yin and the Yang NOT the gender.
 
 
IMHO.

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 12:27:48 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

dominants look down upon male submissives? Female down upon female?

This thought came to my mind while perusing some older threads; one male dominant admitted that when he sees a male submissive, he had the urge to tell them to get up off their knees.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Do male dominants look down upon male submissives? Female down upon female?

This thought came to my mind while perusing some older threads; one male dominant admitted that when he sees a male submissive, he had the urge to tell them to get up off their knees.

Many do. In fact, many female subs look down on male subs- they have an ideal that male = dominant and therefore a male submissive is somehow completely wrong and weak and bad.

Luckily, there's plenty who don't and realize how silly it is to look down on someone based on their relationship orientation due to gender.


Good point, LA (or should I call you "tex"? ).

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 12:36:19 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Makes no difference to me. I get along equally well with all persuasions.

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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 12:46:08 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

dominants look down upon male submissives? Female down upon female?

This thought came to my mind while perusing some older threads; one male dominant admitted that when he sees a male submissive, he had the urge to tell them to get up off their knees.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Do male dominants look down upon male submissives? Female down upon female?

This thought came to my mind while perusing some older threads; one male dominant admitted that when he sees a male submissive, he had the urge to tell them to get up off their knees.

Many do. In fact, many female subs look down on male subs- they have an ideal that male = dominant and therefore a male submissive is somehow completely wrong and weak and bad.

Luckily, there's plenty who don't and realize how silly it is to look down on someone based on their relationship orientation due to gender.


Personally I do not look down on male submissives. Mentally it is like interacting with a gay man, it is a man that I have no sexual interest in. It isn't that I think gay men are weak either, and I have had some very attractive macho gay male friends. I also do not find myself drawn to vanilla men, or men young enough to be my son (except benji.. he is adorable even if he is a sub male that is young enough to be my son....lol) None of these men are my type. I am not their type either usually, so it is all good.

If there are a lot of female subs that feel this way it is possibly a projection of their feelings about gender relations and about their own submission. I do not see myself as weaker than a dominant male. Why would I see a male submissive as weaker than a dominant man? It isn't logical...


< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 7/23/2006 12:47:02 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 4:00:40 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
I have found that there are huge gender biases on both sides, but more among male Dominants---now I can tell you,I would never see it from the likes of Raven, IronBear, or Knight---however, it seems many Doms do not understand the male submissive dynamic--it hardly makes them less male--it means they on the opposite side of the Yin---submission like Dominance should be viewed as the dynamic, the Yin and the Yang NOT the gender.
IMHO.


Interesting MH, personally I do not care what anyone wants to be dominant, submissive, switch or whether they are male or female.  We all just do our thing and can only be who we are.  We have encountered a bad attitude towards male submissives from some female switches.  A direct quote from one of them, "I don't understand male subs and when I play with them I just want to hurt them."  There were other vile comments from a couple of them directed at male submissives simply because they were not Dominant.

K

< Message edited by PlayfulOne -- 7/23/2006 4:10:53 PM >

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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 4:07:53 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		In my opinion in general society the man is seen as the dominant one so possibly they would not understand a mans need to submit.
For example i was telling a friend of mine about a male sub i was friends with on here and her reaction was he must be gay. When i said no she just couldnt get her head round the idea.

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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 4:09:17 PM   
ClassAct2006


Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		Some people will. I've spoken to men who think all men are or should be dominant and if they aren't they're hiding it or not admitting it. I think that's very wrong. It's like saying no one is really gay and they can all be converted to heterosexuality. It's rubbish.
In the real world out there  it is not the done thing for adult women to go round in the US / UK saying they're submissive whereas it would be a huge plus point if I were in many other parts of the world. We get men importing women from Eastern countries in the UK just because they want the automatic submission of those cultures which they find so hard to see in most English women.
I would never look down on a submissive man, just as I wouldn't on a gay man. Neither would be for me and nor would a vanilla man but I respect them for who they are.

(in reply to PlayfulOne)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 4:12:48 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		Male subs understand the benefit of a well pleased Domme :)

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Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 4:43:16 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		To each his own...female sub, male sub, female Dom, male Dom...if you are not involved personally with me, who am I to judge?

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Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 6:51:07 PM   
peterK50


Posts: 433
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline 		70 % of my contacts come from Male Doms who have "Straight" in their profile & do not list sub males in what they are seeking. These men want me to serve them sexally. Seems to be a dirty little secret.

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Religion Is About Seeking Knowledge, Not Knowing All The Answers.

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RE: D versus s - 7/23/2006 7:35:12 PM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		I call this the "I have a penis I'm a dom syndrome."    I have a lot more respect for someone who has bothered to really think through what they want from this and admit they are submissive.  In the munch groups I saw a lot of the "syndrome" and guys who were claiming to be doms on their knees in front of some pretty sub, supposedly as a joke. 

I'm not quite sure how the notion that submission is somehow a choice of someone who is weak got started.  It seems that as much effort and work would go into that as into being a dominant. A lot of times true strength is knowing who you are and what you want and grabbing that brass ring in life.

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