Changing Your Lifestly again? (Full Version)

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MistyMenthal -> Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 10:18:42 AM)

Knowing what You know now,
If You had a chance to go back and
do it all over again. Is there anything You
would change about the Lifestyle.
{ In accordance with who and what You are}

I would look at the Lifestyle as a way of Life,
"Not A Kink"

Misty's Smoking



RavenMuse -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 10:30:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistyMenthal
Knowing what You know now,
If You had a chance to go back and
do it all over again. Is there anything You
would change about the Lifestyle.


Nope but then for me it was always about who I am and how I choose to live my life.

I did consider saying there where a few girls I would have chosen not to get involved with, but I learned a lot from those mistakes too, so no. I'd change nothing, it all brought me to who and where I am... and I quite like being me!



JessieMe -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 10:31:58 AM)

What I would change about "the lifestyle" would be more REAL tolerance for each other.. what I would change about my lifestyle would be to have never gotten with the first one who screwed me up so badly in the beginning.



Owned1 -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 10:41:46 AM)

i would change when i realized there was a name for the feelings i had and people who were real and lived their lives the way i am now.  i was a late bloomer so to speak when it comes to knowing the kinky life.  In hindsite others in the life sought me out but never verbalized what it was they were into and i was too niave  to even notice.

However hindsight is 20/20 and i am thankful i am where i am today owned body mind and spirit by Master

owned



ExSteelAgain -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 11:02:46 AM)

I should have realized the art aspect of it sooner if anyone knows what I getting at. I should have concentrated on the art of a scene, spacing and the D/s relationship instead of spending my early years only spanking and whipping.



SusanofO -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 11:32:31 AM)

I would have made an effort to investigate this whole bdsm arena of life in my own real life abot 15 years sooner than I did. But, there is a reason I am here at this point in time. I need to trust that, even if I don't know why the time-line exists as it does.

- Susan



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 12:05:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistyMenthal

Knowing what You know now,
If You had a chance to go back and
do it all over again. Is there anything You
would change about the Lifestyle.


Nope. I believe things happen the way they do for a reason.

I made some silly-ass mistakes, lost my commonsense a few times, and did a few things I can see were counter-productive at the time, but I do not regret them, nor would I change them.

I spent most of my adult life being far too serious, far too in-my-brain, and far too afraid to take risks. When I began exploring the lifestyle that excitement, that frenzy to explore it all, that breathless immediacy, that childlike wonder with which I approached my submission, and my kinks was so heady and sweet, so emotionally charged that I could never wish it away.

We don't get enough chances in life to re-discover ourselves, and the world around us. We have to be adults, serious, responsible, and cautious. It's easy for some of us to take that too far and build fortresses, and moats, and drawbridges around ourselves.

For me, exploring BDSM forced me to reconsider how my defenses were working against me as well as for me. Allowed me to reassess and change the emotional landscape of my life.

I'm happier, healthier, more self-actualized, than I have ever been. And I don't believe that would have happened if things hadn't enfolded the way they did.

I'm at peace with the journey so far, and eager for the one ahead.



MsKatHouston -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 12:12:21 PM)

I like where I am and what got me here.  In ten years I'll probably be somewhere else (hell in a day I might be) and I like the journey way too much to go from zero to where I am now without having experienced the ups and downs, the mistakes and triumphs that I have.  I wouldn't change a thing :)



popeye1250 -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 12:24:20 PM)

I've been involved in this lifestyle for about 18 years now but I would have been involved sooner than that if it were possible.
Of course I would change a lot of things if I could go back but none of us can and so you play the cards you're dealt.
Yes, the last sub I wouldn't have gotten involved with. Money problems and lying.



diamonddreamlove -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 5:49:07 PM)

I would only change the many years i lived in the vanilla world denying who i am.



Caretakr -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 8:26:33 PM)

I wouldn't have dated as many kooks.



sleazybutterfly -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 8:34:43 PM)

There are things I wish I hadn't done, of course.  I do know that those things made me what I am today, and that person is a hell of a lot stronger than the one that was here years ago.  Granted, she was always there..but I didn't believe in her and give her a chance back then.
 
I believe that everything happens for a reason, even if I don't know what the heck it is right now, down the road it will become clear.
 
~Andrea (Flutterbi)



shivvy -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 11:21:17 PM)

i guess i wish i had met my current Master sooner, and i hadn't dabbled in vanilla in tried ti ignore who i really woz.
 
luv,
 
shiv
xx



leakylee -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/19/2006 11:41:40 PM)

I think I would have gotten braver sooner, and took the plunge when it first presented itself 15 years ago. But at least I found the path.. better late than never..hehe..

lee



MHOO314 -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/20/2006 5:43:29 AM)

I would have embraced it earlier and not worked so hard to hide what I thought was something abnormal.



wandering4u -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/20/2006 5:45:29 AM)

Wish I could have started sooner!



michaelGA2 -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/20/2006 5:49:27 AM)

well, for one thing...if it were about 25 years ago, i would have saved up for gender reassignment and then i would be a much happier person. [:D]



agirl -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/20/2006 5:51:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistyMenthal

Knowing what You know now,
If You had a chance to go back and
do it all over again. Is there anything You
would change about the Lifestyle.
{ In accordance with who and what You are}

I would look at the Lifestyle as a way of Life,
"Not A Kink"

Misty's Smoking


 Hello Misty,

I wouldn't change any particular experience, vanilla or otherwise.

In wistful, or reflective moments, I sometimes allow myself to spend a little time thinking about how things *might have been* if I'd responded in a more sensible way, been less naive, or more honourable and honest with myself..................but frankly.....in the *lifestyle or not, I'm the sum of my experiences to date and I like the good parts about myself more and find the *bad* parts liveable with.

agirl





hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: Changing Your Lifestly again? (7/20/2006 8:39:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistyMenthal

Knowing what you know now, if you had a chance to go back and do it all over again, is there anything you would change about the Lifestyle?  { In accordance with who and what you are.}

I would look at the Lifestyle as a way of Life,
"Not A Kink"


First and foremost, I would avoid power exchange dynamics like the plague from day one.  I allowed myself to be pressured for years into considering power exchange to be "necessary" as a portion of expressing kink, and it caused me absolutely nothing but grief in the long run.  I would definatley tell those who pushed me in that direction to go fuck themselves, and would refrain from ever suggesting it to someone new who was exploring kinks themselves.  I figure there are enough folks out there advocating it as "the" way to do things that adding my own voice to that choir is both unnecessary, and these days, rather hypocritical.
 
After that, I would avoid ever making the mistake of considering it a "lifestyle" rather than a set of unconventional quirks/hobbies.  Same sort of pressure as the power exchange issue - and same sort of responce.  For some it may well be a "lifestyle." For me, it's nothing more than a set of hobbies that I happen to enjoy - no different than my enjoyment of camping, hiking, or harleys, and no more a 'lifestyle' than any of those things.
 
My kinks I wouldn't change - I enjoy them immensely, and (for the most part) have enjoyed the majority of my experiences that were strictly of a mutual kink nature.  Then again, after 23 years and coming full circle, I figure I can safely say that I would likely avoid being introduced to kink at all - or at the very least wait until I was MUCH older to actually get involved with it - 17 was way to young  to get started.
 
Who and What I Am has changed over the years as I've gotten older, experienced more, etc.  Life is Dynamic and Changing - not static or stagnant at one specific point.



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