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New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/14/2006 1:01:48 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		We all went through our learning curve. I was thinking back today about my early sessions I’d do with Slave.   Some were so embarrassing, they were downright funny!

When you began sessoning, what were your mishaps and downright embarrassing moments?  Those starting out need to know that things will surprise you when you least expect it. I’ll list one of (notice I said ONE of mine.. no, don’t beg me..one is all you are getting from me! I’m not into humiliation THAT much!)

At the dungeon I’d go to, there was a trend going on with Spider web Bondage.  This is a large frame set vertically to the floor with eyebolts, and what you do is thread your submissive into bondage through the chris-cross of rope, into immobility. 

Oh I watched diligently to see how it was done. One night I was going to do it to Slave.  I cuffed his hands to the corners of the web frame.  He stood there spread eagled as I began my web. OOOOOOOOOOooooo how devious.. Each cross would circle his penis one time... then the balls the other.. back and forth I went until I ran out of rope.  I stood back to admire my work. The front was a Stunning pattern.. I walked around the back.. and realized.. I never   cross over the BACKSIDE.

All slave had to do was get out of the bondage was to       ….take…one…..step…….backward!

Advice to the new Dominants:  “Never let your alligator mouth override your humming bird ass.”  Humble pie tastes like sh*t!   LOL!

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/14/2006 3:25:23 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		I can relate to your bondage scenario at a simpler level.  Way back when I was a newbie, I initially got exasperated at just how difficult I found it to tie the girl up with the right balance - without A), her able to escape the binds but B), not hurting or injuring her, either!
 
Hardest moments I found as a newbie were not physical, though, but when actually setting the scene, ie creating the right head-space for her in a formalised dynamic.  Having my girl standing before me butt-naked and with expectant eyes looking into mine (as commanded) proved uncomfortably intimidating to me, too!  lol  Lacking alround experience and confidence sucked back then and it's not the kind of thing you can find in resources or from advice - it comes from within....
 
Focus.

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/14/2006 4:18:30 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

We all went through our learning curve. I was thinking back today about my early sessions I’d do with Slave.   Some were so embarrassing, they were downright funny!

When you began sessoning, what were your mishaps and downright embarrassing moments?  Those starting out need to know that things will surprise you when you least expect it. I’ll list one of (notice I said ONE of mine.. no, don’t beg me..one is all you are getting from me! I’m not into humiliation THAT much!)


First one doesn't have to be new or newer to have those DUH! moments  Expect them, laugh at them and even savor them alittle!

an event that pops to mind was a few years ago I was doing a scene with alandra and another Dominant.  We had alandra in Iron shackles in the beginning of the scene.  After awhile it was decide we where going to take her out of the shackles...."Where's the Key?"   mmmmmmmm well we looked around the Dungeon for about 10 minutes couldn't find the key and said "hell with it" Lets play... of course... alanddra was standing there trying not to giggle as we looked.  We played some more and yeah you guessed in thru the course of some more play the key was found exactly where I put it.. on the shelf.  got the shackles off and played some more.  I think it is important not to let these moments stop you!  but to incorporate them!  Use these moments to add to your fun!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/14/2006 4:44:51 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		I was told once a good question for newbies to ask of a prospective dom who states they have experience is to ask them what mistakes they have made.  As those of us who have been doing this for awhile can attest to, we've all made mistakes! lol ... am heading out of town for the weekend so don't have time to post some of mine ...but will looking forward to reading this thread when I get back and adding my own.

Jasmyn

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


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(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/14/2006 5:57:06 PM   
cynthiamarie


Posts: 205
Joined: 3/11/2005
From: Bluefield, WV, USA
Status: offline
quote:

When you began sessoning, what were your mishaps and downright embarrassing moments?


*laughing hard at self*

First, when I opened up my big toybag...and wished I had a lot more.  We unpacked it together so he could look at everything and ask questions and I could see which things caught his eye...and then I noticed that when everything was laid out and the ropes were under the mattress of the bed farthest from the wall that the stuff was on the other bed close to the door.   I was not going to walk around the bed every time I wanted to use something else, so we moved everything and laughed.

When the ass kept pushing out the vibe, and one of the times I went to re-insert it went between his crack and the bed.  Also, the new batteries were weak, and in the end I tossed the vibe, flipped him over and used my gloved fingers...prefer it that way anyway.

I don't get nekkie for bottoms, and I had him help me put on the strapon harness over my black jeans, tied him back up and went to the bathroom mirror to put the dildo inside the ring...and thunk, it hit the floor.   Yes, he heard. *takes note to self to turn on the AC next time to muffle sounds of uh ohs, lol.*  No I don't like strapons, this is a yellow area with me but I'll play within it sometimes.  Maybe I haven't found the right one...this one's too short and bendy and I don't have as much control over it as I do my fingers.  I do not have BDSM furniture, okay?  This bugger was a nightmare...I couldn't do anything I'd wanted to because of the disparity in...uh...cuz of logistics.  Over the bathroom counter didn't work, kneeling over the side of the bed didn't work...what can I say?  I'm 5'7" but still need a strapon that is at navel level. 

I love light to medium flogging, with lots of tiny breaks for surprises like feathers or ice or something...anyway, my left arm got very tired, and I kept trading out with my right, and in the 5th hour I accidentally wrapped and got him on the rib cage.  He didn't mind and I left no mark that didn't fade within half an hour, but it made me indignant and embarrassed that my aim sucked that time.  *Yeah, I couldn't sleep that night and could barely move my arm for the next few days but the pain was worth it.*

With someone else I was doing a long, light/medium OTK and I couldn't get him positioned right; his head was over the side of the bed and I didn't want it to be.  It irritated me and made me feel awkward until it hit me that...if I wanted to see his face all I had to do was gently grab a fist full of his hair and pull his head up.  

While outside on a blanket in a private area, I didn't take into account that the sub was wearing shorts...and though the sky was overcast and we got rained on, he got a pretty bad burn on the backs of his legs.  I have sunblock in my kit now...spf set for babies.  I felt so horrible, especially because he'd been subspaced the whole time and really couldn't watch out for himself.  The guilt from that...the burn was really BAD, okay?

I'm looking forward to all the future uh ohs I'll make...

*edited to add another*
When I flog, I prefer to wear opera length black lycra gloves.  When someone is in my vinyl and velcro restraints, I check their nail beds, etc. about every 20 minutes or so.  One time I needed to readjust one, because of some swelling, and my glove got stuck in the velcro!  He didn't know...but I knew...and I was glad he was blindfolded.

< Message edited by cynthiamarie -- 7/14/2006 6:15:28 PM >

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/14/2006 6:50:27 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		When doing a sensory deprivation sceen-  Do not EVER:

Use really good sound preventative putty ear plugs....
with a Red Satin Sleep mask because it shows up really great through the eyeholes of the leather hood, while the slave  is standing in 4" heels......
                                
....................then call to him from 20 feet away and expect the slave come to you.

(aye-yup.....there's another one.  I swear the boy stays with me out of pity sometimes )

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to cynthiamarie)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/17/2006 12:29:55 PM   
branwen


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/11/2005
From: NH
Status: offline 		Always remember to check for flogger clearance! I knocked over one of my favorite plants. It was AWFUL. Of course, then I made him clean it up and repot it, so.. good recovery, right? LMAO

_____________________________

I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/17/2006 3:51:29 PM   
QuietDom


Posts: 255
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline 		The first few scenes I did  (and by 'first few', I regrettably mean 'most of them') I tried to tie as rapidly as I possibly could, keep the warm-up brief, and ramp the intensity up very quickly.  Why?  I was afraid the sub would get bored!!!

Then I saw somebody far more experienced do a very slow, sensual scene, and I learned.

(in reply to branwen)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/17/2006 4:03:41 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Great topic...

I cannot think of one spectacularly ridiculous thing...there were so many. I still think I laugh. possibly more than most, when I scene...but I love my work <grin>. I do remember taking pics for a web site once, and had the boy strung up and blindfolded. I should have had him gagged though, because he kept "ruining" the pics with his huge smile...I thought he should have looked ...I don't know, scared, intimidated? Something other than thrilled to death!

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/17/2006 4:14:10 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Branwen, lol, I smashed a lamp once like that!
"Crash!!!"

(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/18/2006 7:45:41 PM   
WetHotGoddess


Posts: 128
Joined: 5/18/2006
Status: offline 		I lost a dildo up a sub's ass once.  It was just a shaft and I had it in as deep as possible when there was a mighty suction and it disappeared!  I probed diligently while he moaned in absolute bliss.  After 10 minutes or so, I realized there was no getting it out without telling him it was lost, so I told him it was missing and he needed to relax and give it back.  It was extremely funny, but I haven't made that mistake since, I tell ya! lol

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/18/2006 7:51:21 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I like watching new tops shackle a woman up and THEN try and take off their clothes- or watching an inexperienced person fumbling with taking off clothes.

And I will simply reiterate Knight- fumbles and hysterical mishaps occur to the most experienced as well.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/18/2006 8:10:40 PM   
GddssBella


Posts: 343
Joined: 2/24/2004
Status: offline 		G'evening all:


Ah, the blooper reel of dominants! I'll add one of mine. I wasn't new to the scene, nor the subject at hand. This was over a year ago. He was cuffed to a St. Andrew's cross at a semi-public dungeon. A piece fell off a toy, a flogger I believe, went flying and was lost in the spectators.

Well, I was so flabbergasted, I started laughing my self silly. The sub was used to humor in scenes with me and inquired what happened. He began chuckling after I told him. I simply lost it at this point. I fell to one knee then subsequently flat on my ass. I was so gone with the giggles, tears were leaking from the corners of my eyes. The crowd was snickering too, as members of the audience helped me up. Once I regained my composure, retrieved the missing part and changed toys, I then proceeded to beat him with a bunny flogger. Repeating phrases like "Take that!", "How dare you break my toy!?!", etc., etc. We soon dissolved into fits of mirth all over again. Laughter is good for the soul.


Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...





Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!"

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/18/2006 8:14:08 PM   
Bwarf


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/9/2005
From: Australia, NSW, Newcastle
Status: offline 		LMAO,  I am a newbie and I've been rumaging around for a topic like this, takes a bit of the pressure of to know that I'm not the only one making silly mistakes and that life and relationship exist in the aftermath.  Thanks!..... Lotus song. (sensory deprevation).. I had a similar experince, i'd never laughed so hard at myself before.
thanks a bundle.
ciao.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/18/2006 8:15:02 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Bella,
Thank you for the laugh. I too have been known to dissolve into giggles...at moments some would consider inappropriate!

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to GddssBella)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/18/2006 8:20:59 PM   
MistressTexas


Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline 		During one of my first whipping sessions, I was in a very spacious living room, my sub was up on a cross, and I was feeling very smug. I had been practicing my whipping, and now as I checked my whip circumference, I was going to give this sub a good hard whipping. Show everyone that I am a damn good Domme regardless of my age... I raised the whip, proceeded to crack it over my shoulder aaaaaannnd... Smacked myself in the ass. Hard. I had a welt for 3 days. Thank god he was facing the other way... *sigh* I did side cracking for the rest of the night... and sat on a pillow for a week.

(in reply to GddssBella)
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RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/18/2006 8:27:50 PM   
MistressJan


Posts: 42
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline 		Mistress Texas:

That one is priceless.   Makes me remember the first time I pulled a butt plug out of a slave.  LOL

Respectfully,

Mistress_Jan

(in reply to MistressTexas)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/18/2006 8:48:27 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		What a fun thread!  OK.  One I'll tell on myself, and one on someone else, who is a very famous scene player.

Bullwhips are dangerous, we all know, and when handled skillfully, they are beautiful.  I was watching Robert Dante, probably the greatest living "cracker" in the scene (and one of the greats period) about 10 years ago in Toronto.  Bob was giving a demonstration with a long whip....10 feet or more?  He was in a ballroom at a fancy hotel at a big international scene event.  Earlier in the day I'd taken a class on whipcracking for Dominants, and he stressed time and again that the whip is perfectly submissive -- it will do EXACTLY what you tell it to do, every time.  So all the missed targets, bad throws and (yes, MistressTexas, I've done that number on my ass, too) the throws that wind up slapping the cracker, hard are the result of YOU telling the whip what to do -- badly.

So Mr. Dante steps to the center of the room.  He warms up a bit with some side arm cracks...just unrolling the whip, making it crack beautifully, and then snapping it back.  He pauses....he does a lovely overhand throw.....and he brings down a good part of the heavy chandelier about 4 feet in front (and 10 feel ABOVE) his head!  There is a moment of silence, then a huge wave of laughter...Dante, included.  (In all fairness, as I understand it, he had checked the room a month or so earlier, but did not know that they rehung the chandelier about 1 ft lower than it had been).

As for Me...I was doing a scene in a little D/s B&B that regrettably is no more.  My partner was my slave of many years.  This dungeon was very small, and so there were usually only a few spectators during play time.  The dungeon had a small sound system, and I like some music while I play.  Whatever CD was in the player stopped during a fairly long and steady flogging I was giving my slave, and so I reached over to switch discs...I forget what I meant to put in (I was really concentrating on her, not the music) but I fumbled somehow and put in a compilation of Irish Rovers -- the really "diddley-diddley" fiddles and guitar stuff.  The music starts...I'm a bit taken aback because it is NOT what I expected, and my slave mutters, in a perfect Irish accent "Aye, he's always after me Lucky Charms."  

You cannot do florentine flogging when you are doubled over giggling.  Don't try it.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to MistressTexas)
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RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/18/2006 8:57:44 PM   
MistressTexas


Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

Earlier in the day I'd taken a class on whipcracking for Dominants, and he stressed time and again that the whip is perfectly submissive -- it will do EXACTLY what you tell it to do, every time.  So all the missed targets, bad throws and (yes, MistressTexas, I've done that number on my ass, too) the throws that wind up slapping the cracker, hard are the result of YOU telling the whip what to do -- badly.



Stupid whip... I'll flog it but good.. teach it to do what I mean, not what I say.

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: New Dom/mes- Early Sessions - 7/18/2006 9:21:32 PM   
MistressSonya


Posts: 29
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		I think one of the funniest thing that has happened to me. was I was playing with a gentleman at a friends house and had him tied face down on a table, and I took a dog choke chain that I had in the freezer and draped it over his ass. so it was hanging down between his ass cheeks and laying on his balls, not thinking about the new kitten she had just gotten.  well I was flogging him and happened to look down to see the new kitten with her claws out batting what it looked like from where I was standing his balls.. so I stopped.. and was like.. O are you ok.. and then realized she was batting at the choke chain.  at that point, I just fell apart.. I was laughing so hard I couldnt stand up, I had to untie him and explain to him what happened.. and he joined me in the laugh
and that is just one of the silly times that has happened to me
Mistress Sonya

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 20
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