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ORIGINAL: FightingChains

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ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

There is a big difference between respecting other people's boundaries and letting the masses dictate how you yourself act. This is a free country, and as such we are allowed to express ourselves in public, within the limits of decorum, anyway we choose. We can shout out loud the president sucks hairy balls, we can walk around in skimpy bikinis (men or women... *sigh* ), we can even give speeches about the merits of mein kampf. And yes, you can even give someone you love a kiss. This is a country where the rest of the people have to accommodate what you are doing, not the other way around, that is what freedom is. So go ahead, display your affection. You said it yourself, what the hell did you fight for if not to defend your freedom to express yourself

Firstly, thanks.

Second, I don't live in the US nor did I fight for it, but I appreciate the sentiment.

Third, there's a difference between the right to do something and it being a good idea. While I value the right to do it, I also fought for decency, consideration, and kindness. I value the fact that many in my nation are compassionate for others. I care for others and would prefer not to make them uncomfortable. It's no big deal for me to avoid kissing him outside as I don't generally want to anyway. Perhaps others are dictating my actions, or perhaps I try to be considerate. I prefer to think of it as the latter.

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ORIGINAL: dcnovice

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I also fought for decency, consideration, and kindness.

Is a same-sex kiss a violation of these?

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I have enough decency, consideration and kindness to know that I will set off a lot of people's "Ewww Instinct" and I prefer not to do that. They can't help that feeling, it's primitive brain stuff.

That being said, I don't defend those who would attack me or vilify me if I did. I have the human right to love the person I love, and their "Civilized Brain" needs to kick in and go "That may be Ewww, but they are just kissing and they have the right to do that even if I don't like it."

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ORIGINAL: Marc2b

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I have enough decency, consideration and kindness to know that I will set off a lot of people's "Ewww Instinct" and I prefer not to do that. They can't help that feeling, it's primitive brain stuff.

That being said, I don't defend those who would attack me or vilify me if I did. I have the human right to love the person I love, and their "Civilized Brain" needs to kick in and go "That may be Ewww, but they are just kissing and they have the right to do that even if I don't like it."

This thread (and recently another thread about Michael Sam) have touched upon the "Safety vs Rights" issue.

As for the people who just think "eew" and keep on walking, I agree with BecomingV that, given enough time, it won't bother people. We are a long ways away from there, I think, but we are headed in that direction. Ya know, whenever you see a news story about a Gay Pride Parade or some other Gay oriented event in public, you will inevitably hear from some fundie (usually some frumpy looking woman leading a gaggle of kids) who will complain "what will I tell my children when they see two men kissing?" I always wonder why someone does't answer: "tell them the truth, that they love each other."

That aside, the sad reality is that you do risk a violent attack from bigots and haters just for being yourself in public. The rebel in my wants to say "FUCK THE HATERS!!! BRING IT ON!!!" I am aware, however, that what is merely an ego stroking intellectual exercise for me, is a potentially painfully (even deadly) reality for you. I am also aware that societies do not change with compliance to unjust norms but from defiance of such. For that reason I cannot in good conscience, agree or disagree with either strategy. Each person must decide upon the merits versus the risks of their own actions.

I do know this much: that if enough good people stand up for what is right, then it will be the bigots and the haters who will be on the defensive, it is they who will have to think twice about the risks of speaking up.

FTR: I am not recommending violence against the bigots and haters (despite how emotionally satisfying that would be), just large amounts of social opprobrium.