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LadiesBladewing -> RE: D/s In sickness and in Health (7/8/2006 4:21:19 PM)
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This is a great post. I, too, have MS, and had it on both sides of the collar in the same enclave I'm in now. No matter which side I've been on, our servants and my mate (and our gentlemen when they were alive) have been extraordinary. In the same way, I hope that I have also been exemplary towards my mate, who has severe endometriosis, endometriomas on both ovaries, and a failed hysterectomy that caused endometriosis implantations throughout her abdominal cavity and in and around her intestines. Several days a month, she is completely crippled, and a second surgery to correct the first surgeon's mistakes is complicated by extensive adhesions, making even the outstanding GYN who is working on providing the surgery for her nervous about trying to get everything cleaned up without doing more damage. We make it clear to prospective servants that, if they have an issue with attending to their goddesses' physical bodies during illness, they will be uncomfortable in our house, because when one of us is having issue, everyone chips in to make life easier and sweeter for the one in pain.
I consider myself blessed to be in the family that I am in.
I've provided pastoral care to several couples ravaged by illness. It is disappointing when I encounter situations where one who has yielded or who has taken on the responsibility for another willingly is cast aside when xhe develops an "inconvenient illness". On the few occasions I've encountered this, usually because I'm working with the one discarded, trying to help them to find resources to assist them in their struggles, it has been a reminder to count my blessings yet again and make sure to tell those with whom I share life how much they mean to me.
One of the most difficult cases I have ever had to deal with, on a personal level, was an amazing dominant, with a quick wit and a ready smile, and a true "presence" who was discarded because of pancreatic cancer. This dominant was married to the individual in the submissive half of the relationship without a prenuptual agreement, and was left destitute when the submissive half filed for divorce, took the house, the savings, and the car as the "half" of the marital assets, since all the liquid assets were tied up in medical care, and had the police literally -evict- the dominant, by the submissive individual claiming fear that the dominant would cause injury out of anger. (Now I have to clarify -- this dominant was undergoing heavy chemoradiation prior to having surgery for the cancer, and was not a large person to begin with.). I'd been seeing them as a couple since the dominant was diagnosed (about 4 months prior to this), and when the dominant individual showed up on my doorstep with no where to go, I was shocked. I wasn't shocked when the dominant died of post-operative complications 2 months later, though. To this day, I swear that the cause of death was a broken heart.
No matter what happens to our family, they will not be abandoned -- thru surgery, illness, emotional turmoil... we wouldn't have it any other way. Even our "temporary" trainees are cared for when they're ill, and aren't asked to leave just because of illness. The ones who do choose to cut their service short are always kept in our thoughts and prayers, and we check in occasionally to make sure they're doing alright and don't need our help in any way. To me, this is just what seems "right".
ZWD
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