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Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/8/2006 5:32:09 AM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		This may seem like an odd question but here goes anyway.  My domly s/o has two good married friends.  The wife has been sub for years and married her man knowing he was essentially vanilla.  He has been willing to explore this with her lately. (the last 3 months) Last weekend he punished her for something she had done that could have had tragic consequences to others and herself.

My s/o was present as were two other couples.  He described the punishment as "over the top" and extreme. (also very hot)   It seems to have cemented her ability to see him as her owner and has her seeing him in "godlike" terms.

My question is, so early into things with them, if the only way she can continue to see him in these terms is after severe punishments is there a probability of future very poor behavior to try to maintain these feelings she has now? 

Any and all input welcome.

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/8/2006 5:47:14 AM   
JessieMe


Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		If she views her submission based on acts of punishment I would have to say.. most likely. If at some point she starts seeing her submission as an actual need to serve and submit.. I would tend to say no..

When things are this new in a D/s BDSM relationship, there are SOO many different ways things could go.. it truly is very hard to predict.

I wish them great luck as they make this journey with each other.. I am sure it will be a WILD RIDE <grin>

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

(in reply to sharainks)
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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/8/2006 6:20:28 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		If he is new to all of this, is he aware that the punishment was "over the top" and extreme? If so, maybe he did it to that extreme just to let her know that he could. Perhaps she needed an "a-ha" punishment/moment to realize that he was serious about controlling her and that was all she needed to slip into who she really is with him. It's possible that he won't ever have to go to that extreme again as punishment.

(in reply to sharainks)
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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/8/2006 7:12:22 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

This may seem like an odd question but here goes anyway.  My domly s/o has two good married friends.  The wife has been sub for years and married her man knowing he was essentially vanilla.  He has been willing to explore this with her lately. (the last 3 months) Last weekend he punished her for something she had done that could have had tragic consequences to others and herself.

My s/o was present as were two other couples.  He described the punishment as "over the top" and extreme. (also very hot)   It seems to have cemented her ability to see him as her owner and has her seeing him in "godlike" terms.

My question is, so early into things with them, if the only way she can continue to see him in these terms is after severe punishments is there a probability of future very poor behavior to try to maintain these feelings she has now? 

Any and all input welcome.

I think that, if he was aware that his punishment of her was extreme and over the top (who knows how intense his own learning has been not only in the last three months but in the time period leading up to his decision to agree to explore this with her?), then he may just have gotten the effect he was looking for, as sublizzie noted.  Maybe she has expressed...prior to the incident that led to punishment... either verbally or silently, doubts about his 'real' willingness to do this and he felt that it was time to bring things to a head.  It could've gone way wrong too.  Let's hope that she has not been wrong in what it is she wants.

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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/8/2006 7:49:15 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		Some people use D/s as a lifestyle, others use it as an excuse. Just keep an eye out for her well being. 

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I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/8/2006 8:05:30 AM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		Taking out the first punishment on my slave did solidify my relationship with her. It made her realize I was serious.It has also taken a while for her to help me get over the fact that I enjoyed seeing her like that. I would prefer that she post about this than me, as there are undoubtably feelings she has about it that I can't describe.

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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/8/2006 8:30:47 AM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline 		Did he give reason why this punishment was so extreme?  He is obviously aware that it was.  I think that would have been my first question had i been privy to the conversation. 
It makes me nervous when i hear the word "extreme" being used by someone who has just started to explore...three months still seems green to me.  

If this gave them some common ground by which to meet and begin their journey, then i say hurray for them.  If they seem to focus on this one extreme act and fail to explore other avenues in addition to it, then i would maybe begin to have some concerns. 

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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/8/2006 8:52:28 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

My question is, so early into things with them, if the only way she can continue to see him in these terms is after severe punishments is there a probability of future very poor behavior to try to maintain these feelings she has now? 

Any and all input welcome.

The short answer is yes, its possible.  The punishment could be inadvertantly reinforcing the wrong behavior or could begin to do so.  However, it could also be the catalyst for her to more fully submit.

A submissive will not submit to someone she does not respect.  This woman, I suspect, did not respect her husband as a dominant because she had always seen him as "nilla".  This act of punishment, which was over the top, may have been the very catalyst needed to get her attention and force her to re-evaluate how she sees her husband.  Her response could be viewed as evidence of that change in perspective, that she does in fact now very much view him as her dominant.

So while the punishment may very well have been the right thing for him to do, it may still have consequences down the road that will have to be dealt with.  Meaning that while she now respects him as a dominant, he still needs to ground her perspective in reality so that her expectations don't become unrealistic.  People are complex critters.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/8/2006 9:28:59 AM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		In answer to the question about him knowing if it was extreme.  Yes he did.  He very carefully researched what he wanted to do to her and the possible consequences.  Initially upon hearing of what he planned my thought was that with his lack of experience it was dangerous.  I had concerns about the possibility of long term damage to nerves and sensation as well. 

However she knew what he planned, agreed to it, knew there would be no safewording out of it no matter how bad it got.  It was extreme enough that he felt the need to have a medical person there who was in WIITWD as well.

I know that I could not have done what she did, and presented with an option to accept it would not have.  I also know my reactions would not have been as hers have.  However, it seems to have enhanced their relationship for the time being at least. 
Being a curious person I have to wonder what this might have set up for the future in terms of maintaining her mindset.

(in reply to Padriag)
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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/8/2006 10:03:11 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

This may seem like an odd question but here goes anyway.  My domly s/o has two good married friends.  The wife has been sub for years and married her man knowing he was essentially vanilla.  He has been willing to explore this with her lately. (the last 3 months) Last weekend he punished her for something she had done that could have had tragic consequences to others and herself.

My s/o was present as were two other couples.  He described the punishment as "over the top" and extreme. (also very hot)   It seems to have cemented her ability to see him as her owner and has her seeing him in "godlike" terms.

My question is, so early into things with them, if the only way she can continue to see him in these terms is after severe punishments is there a probability of future very poor behavior to try to maintain these feelings she has now? 

Any and all input welcome.


I have an issue with the description of the punishment being "extreme" but then described as "hot".  Unless you are describing temperature (as in fire play), I think the fact that it was also seen as "hot" negates the true nature of the punishment.  If it's a relationship that is built on the idea that punishment is erotic play, then it's not really going to be a behavior modification situation, as far as improving behavior.
 
Of course, they may want a relationship that is based on "I'm a bad girl, punish me.", and there is nothing wrong with that, as long as they are both on the same page.
 
Be well,
Julie

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/8/2006 10:12:38 AM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		I didn't mean for it to sound like it was hot for her.  It didn't sound like she found it so.  My domly S/o found it hot.  What most impressed him and made it hot for him was that she was willing to endure what she did for her dom.  He said she was obvously in anguish and pleading and screaming a lot during the punishment. 

< Message edited by sharainks -- 7/8/2006 10:13:57 AM >

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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/9/2006 6:43:53 PM   
zanti


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/8/2006
Status: offline 		Well  speeking from experence as a slave and having the same thing happen to me.  my Master Slipstreme punnished me with Her Russian knout and Her single tail whips on me for a total of 68 lashings.  By the time Master Slipstreme hit 50 lashings i was balling my eyes out and knew that the things i did wrong that gave me the 68 lashings i would never do again. It also as did the sub discribed above cemented Master Slipstreme as my Master and to me a god.  i know for fact now their is no way on earth i can in any way not be Her slave, let alone eaven be apart from Her with out missing Her extremely badly.  The affect it had on me was one that forever made Master Slipstreme my Master and owner.  As well as making it impossible for me to ever be anything but what She wants me to be and who She wants me to be.  Well i hoped that helped if not you can email me here.  Later.   z{Master Slipstreme, Scales, Yorgy}

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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/9/2006 6:48:35 PM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline 		Excuse me please, but what is an s/o?

Thanks,
~dancer


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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/9/2006 8:06:47 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		s/o I think means signifiicant other, desert.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/9/2006 8:11:11 PM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline 		Oooh * blushes* Of course it does ! Well don't I feel silly now....thank you Susan

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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/9/2006 8:14:59 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Sure. I know how you might feel, though. I went through about 3 months wondering what WIIWD meant (what it is we do) and I didn't ask anyone - at least you asked.

-Susan 

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to desertdancer)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/9/2006 8:18:38 PM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		ok now Im all curiouse what was the extreme punishment he gave her... come on you cant tell me the rest of you dont want to know...
and the fact tht it was so extreme he needed a medical person there she deffinetly should have had a safe word come on people remeber safe sane consentual... just consentual isnt good enough

-da enigma-

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Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/9/2006 8:48:41 PM   
fyrekittyn


Posts: 282
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: Memphis, TN
Status: offline 		After getting the first punishment from Himself, it really made our relationship dedicated. He didn't enjoy punishing me, but he cared enough to do so. Though I did not enjoy the punishment, I enjoyed the knowledge that he was willing and able to punish me when needed.

_____________________________

Whip me, spank me, beat me, fuck me, all if it and more!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, come on now. You can hit harder! *THWACK* OW! BASTARD! See, I was right!
~~~~~~~~~~~
fyrekittyn - the sweet, innocent, angelic, virgin princess!

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RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/10/2006 1:53:40 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greeting   to all
 
when you said over the top did he almost kill her the way you explain it is very harsh to the point
of either blood  or most major injuires that might need to be seen at a hoistipal please explain what happen
 
mons

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Post punishment emotions/future misbehavior - 7/10/2006 2:19:05 AM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
Some people use D/s as a lifestyle, others use it as an excuse. Just keep an eye out for her well being. 


I agree 100%.


_____________________________


What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller


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