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GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Patience IS a needed virtue (7/8/2006 4:14:57 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
fast reply
Isn't patience a subjective term anyways? I think people have different time frames in their mind about what "fast" is. For example it is not unusual to meet people that dated for a decade before they actually got married... I would not exactly call that rushing into things. In fact I sense a lot more reticence to actually commit these days than there seems to have been in the past... this speaks to me of not a lack of patience in this society, but a lack of commitment to things. We seem collectively afraid to commit.. hence there are more singles out there than ever! I think it is important not to allow ourselves to confuse patience with fear of commitment.
Like I said, I am a patient person, but by the same token do not take me off the market when you have no intention of buying me. It is unfair.. and I have been through this "have patience" garbage in the not so distant past... So there is a healthy patience which is a virtue, and then there is throwing good after bad, which is not a healthy thing at all...
Just my thoughts
I understand what you are talking about, Julia. But I think we are actually referring to two different issues here that are strangely related.
Patience is about taking the time and making the effort to build something that will enable a strong commitment. And you are right. That timeline depends on the individuals involved.
The lack of commitment or the inability to even think about anything beyond the quick fling, or the short term relationship is where much of the perceived lack of patience comes in. There seems to be no need, because, if it doesn't work out, one can just move on? Right? Wrong! At least for Me it is wrong. I want something more than that.
I have too many boys who want to take shortcuts. They begin by ignoring any guidelines in My profile. They request immediate IM or cam. They say they are ready to move, and want to serve Me as a no limits slave for the rest of their life. Yada, yada, yada...These are all immediate turnoffs for Me.
These types of attitudes come from either a lack of ability to court a women or a need for instant gratification. If it doesn't work out, no harm, no foul. But that is not so. There is no patience for journaling, emailing daily, waiting to make an important phone call, and committing to that r/t meet.
If a boy is local, I have no problem meeting for coffee in a safe, public place, within a few days or a week. I also host a munch each month, so any locals can meet Me (and other Ladies) there, if preferred. Instead, what I find is a constant plea for IM and cam...even local phone calls which are manipulated into a phone domination session. It is safe, and doesn't take much effort. (Note: this does not work, and I do not do it, but it doesn't stop them from trying! *Smile*) But there is no real interest in Me as a Woman, as a mother, as a business person, or as a volunteer in My community. The only facet that interests these boys is the fact that I am a Dominant Woman and they apparently like My photos. To the extent that My profile is not really comprehended and I actually get emails referring to Me as a beautiful Cuckoldress, or the Sadist they have been seeking. I keep re-reading My profile to try to figure out where I say I am either of these.
Patience is important. I have a reasonable timeline. Long Distance, a meet within 2 months or so if all is going well. Local? Better get your butt to the munch or arrange to meet for coffee within a week or so. In that respect, others would find Me not so patient.
But there is a reason I have specific guidelines set out in My profile. It is a matter of steps. First you do this, then you do that, then we move on to the next stage and finally we may do the other thing. Most of them want to just do the other thing, and they want to do it on IM with a cam.
No patience. And...no committment.
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