RE: Jerks Have It Better In Life

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RE: Jerks Have It Better In Life - 1/3/2014 1:50:04 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I've got to an age where I really don't care if a jerk is a jerk. I'm a decent person, I surround myself with decent people. I spend my mental and emotional energy caring about those decent people, which means I don't have enough left over to waste on jerks.

I'm guessing that I'm not alone in this philosophy and eventually jerks will end up being surrounded by jerks, which is a kind of poetic justice really.

This has been my experience. What's that expression? Water finds its own level?

I've met a lot of jerks but the beautiful thing is that everyone who holds a significant role in my life is a good person. I'm surrounded by decent people and as such, I'm very happy. Most of the jerks I've known have ended up surrounded by other tossers in a cycle of neverending drama and backstabbing. Maybe some of them do live happy lives despite their behaviour - but it doesn't matter to me anyway, because they get shuffled out of my life sooner or later. No skin off my nose if they are happy.

Even if you told me I could have my current life full of love plus win the lottery if I only started being a dick to people, I wouldn't do it, because a bit part of my happiness comes from self respect and satisfaction at doing the right thing.

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RE: Jerks Have It Better In Life - 1/3/2014 3:22:17 AM

Kitsuneboi

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I know someone who pulls her power so she gets what she wants, and she is extremely happy with how things are going, even if some deadbeats can't get her what they owe here in time. She always knows how to put the pressure on them. I wouldn't call her a jerk though, in truth, I admire people with the ability to throw their way to true force. ^w^ I think its one of the greatest ways to find out how someone goes about thinking; by looking at their way of getting things done shows to me that they have learned some people are lazy or need to be told a couple of times what to do or even that the people need to have the screws put to them. Some people who complain are usually people who have been pushed around by the people who get what they want by such bold actions. Some, who are in either positions are just cowards, so it really is just a case by case sorta thing. A lot of the time the ones being pushed around get steamed and forget to look at the others point of view, to possibly find out that they were actually doing something wrong, and the one pushing or screaming at them was just trying to help and didn't know another way. And other times, people can just be asses, and were put through stuff to eventually become the asses they are today. Lol Sorry, all what I really meant to say is there are reasons for most anything, and its all person to person.

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RE: Jerks Have It Better In Life - 1/3/2014 5:42:25 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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Being the kind of forceful person who gets things done is one thing, being a screamer to accomplish things another.

I don't respond well to people screaming at me, emotionally healthy people don't.

If you really think the screamer has a better life, you need to reassess your own.

Sure, some of these jerks may get their way in the short run, in the long run they are surrounded by 'yes' people who they can *never* really trust to cover their back.

I have managed up to 30 people in my life at various career points and although I am known as a take charge person who can get things done, I've never screamed at anyone. That's not how you get people to do what you want. You enable them, you empower them, you build consensus with them and create an effective team with a common goal. None of that involves screaming or being abusive in the least.

In my years at the university, I've had more than one prima donna professor come into my office screaming. I'd shake my finger at him (rarely was it a her) and say: 'no, no, no, I'm not your wife or your girlfriend, you can't scream at me.'

It's been my opinion people get the behavior they tolerate.

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RE: Jerks Have It Better In Life - 1/3/2014 6:24:01 AM

HipPoindexter

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no, but people who are capable of understanding their own self interest (and the interest of the few people they really love) and are willing to be as aggressive as necessary when they have to be DO have it better in life. it's a savage world, bro, can't be afraid to wear a savage face.

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RE: Jerks Have It Better In Life - 1/3/2014 6:42:20 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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In theory I agree with your statements, though I've found in practice you really do catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

In the rare instances I need to be aggressive, I tend to not telegraph it, that's counter productive.

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RE: Jerks Have It Better In Life - 1/3/2014 2:45:24 PM

hlen5

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LA90002

I wish I could edit my post. Happiness and unhappiness is so subjective. Who can judge if another person is happy or unhappy. A grumpy and irritable person could appear unhappy to someone, but inside he/she may really like their life. A sensitive and well-rounded person could be unhappy in life.

What I mean is that people who get what they want, at the expense of others, have a better life, because they get all their needs met. I have a friend, who is a divorce attorney, and if he can legally rob you, he will. It seems to me he has no regard for his fellow man. Yet, he has a loving wife and children. Lives in the best part of the city.

One, do you really consider this guy a friend?? Two, we only live on in the hearts of others. What will he leave on this earth? Who will cry at his funeral? Good for him on his material success. Don't be envious of him.

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RE: Jerks Have It Better In Life - 1/3/2014 8:38:04 PM

DesFIP

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What LA90002 considers as robbing others, his friend views as doing his job to get his clients the best possible outcome. That's his job. He's not a mediator, he is an advocate for one party only. And the other person's lawyer advocates for that party.

When I have to hire a lawyer, I don't want one who is thinking about how he can help the other person. I want him to do his best for me.

If I hire a caterer, I expect him to use the money and time I've paid for on the party I'm having. I'd be steamed if he spent it on a party for someone else, no matter how deserving they may be. To do less than your best for your client is when you're a thief. Not otherwise.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 1/3/2014 8:40:03 PM >

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RE: Jerks Have It Better In Life - 1/3/2014 8:47:03 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LA90002

Don't you agree that people who get what they want out of life, at the expense of others, have it better?

Nope. Not my experience at all. It's just the opposite. Wander around the boards for awhile. You can see it with your own eyes. Talk to people more often in real life.

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RE: Jerks Have It Better In Life - 1/3/2014 8:52:31 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LA900

What I mean is that people who get what they want, at the expense of others, have a better life, because they get all their needs met. I have a friend, who is a divorce attorney, and if he can legally rob you, he will. It seems to me he has no regard for his fellow man. Yet, he has a loving wife and children. Lives in the best part of the city.

Dude! He's a lawyer. He's doing his job. And obviously he's good at it and he spent years in college and taking the bar and all that to get to that point. Imo, people like that deserve it. They earned it. If you want to be like him, do what he did....go to college, get a degree, study hard, make the money from the hard work and you will get your house, your wife and your children because you put the work in to get it.

What I hear people like you who complain about this usually tells me that they are simply jealous and don't want to put in the work to get to that place too. They would rather sit back and make the lawyer look bad for doing what he did to get there.

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RE: Jerks Have It Better In Life - 1/3/2014 10:24:06 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

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That is extremely wrong.

If I felt that way as a dom I would tell my girls to ignore me, that I am a fraud and a failure.

Most lawyers are actually honest folk. Don;t get me wrong, there are plenty of asshats out there too. But most of them are decent people.

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RE: Jerks Have It Better In Life - 1/4/2014 1:29:10 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LA90002

It seems to me that there are so many people who get what they want in life, at the expense of others. I'm not talking about criminals who will rob you. Or kill you for personal gain. I'm talking about your average person, people who are at your work or other family members.
People who will yell and scream at another until he/she gets his/her own way. And they don't have a conscious to realize the harm they cause in life.

Some people have the "win-win" attitude in life; both parties win. But the people I'm talking about have the "win-fuck you" attitude.

Don't you agree that people who get what they want out of life, at the expense of others, have it better?