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LadiesBladewing -> RE: Slavery/submission and personal responsibility (7/3/2006 10:43:26 AM)
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I think I see where you are going, and the only way that I can explain how I feel about this is through allegory.
My exposure to dominance and submission came through a back-door, so to speak. I was trained in a monastary, where we learned the process of yielding to the Universe. Now, the Universe is a big thing, and pretty intangible to most people. For those of us who went through these disciplines, though, it -wasn't- an illusion. We accepted a responsibility -- a burden to bear. Each day, we would wake, and we would approach our day from the perspective that every thing that we encountered, ever person that we interacted with, and every act that we undertook was a reflection of our yielding to our dharma -- our life's calling.
It is not a passive undertaking, where one says, "here--take my life -- I'm not going to do anything now, unless you make me do it."
Instead, it is an active process, where one says "Here... I accept that these things are occurring in my life through the turning of the Universe and for the good of all, therefore, I will be active and diligent in doing the things that will further me on this path, because I accept that the reason that I have been given this body, this mind, and this calling are to increase the well-being of the Universe."
This is how I view submission. Yes, one yields to leadership and guidance -- but it is an active process, where one does not -wait- to be hand-held up the stairs of what must be done, but, instead, -offers-... takes initiative in offering yet more... instead of waiting to be asked for something, gives that thing willingly, before it is asked of hir, because in hir own mind, heart, and spirit, xhe is submitting to this -- it is not being -taken- from hir, but given as an offering, to be accepted or returned at the receiver's discretion.
For our household, our new servants are asked to yield up -everything- by the time they are at the end of their novitiate period, including their emotions, at least by expressing honestly what they are experiencing. At the same time, for our senior servants, much of what they once yielded has been returned to their oversight, with the Guides' oversight acting as a second skin over their own. As long as they are doing what they are supposed to, the weight of our ownership is near-weightless. It is only when they stumble and we must lift them up, or when they renege and we must apply immediate and intense pressure that the balance of power is felt in its most dense manifestation.
Every servant will have at least one or two encounters with the weight of our dominance over them. If we have chosen wisely, they will rarely have more than that. If we have chosen poorly, the demands of having to stand upon a servant who has not fully submitted his or her life is often a losing proposition anyway, and these servants rarely remain with us, either by their own choice, or by our command when they are found unsuitable. In terms of the emotional state, while it is our responsibility to both monitor and guide our servants in their emotional progress, if they have submitted, they have already acknowledged that the emotion exists, and that it is neither right, nor wrong, but a part of the package they have submitted. We work on it together, with the individual putting the majority into the process, as emotion and its internal perception are an internal process -- but being completely forthright. However, an emotional servant who is unwilling to do any of the work of healing and managing his or her emotional crises will end up in the category of servants who are a poor fit for our household, not because of the emotion, but because of the unwillingness to do his or her part to resolve the issue and refrain from damaging the others with whom xhe must share space.
Hope this answers your question -- if not, sorry for the long response.
ZWD
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