How to Let Go of a Dominant You Care For (Full Version)

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sapphirepleasure -> How to Let Go of a Dominant You Care For (7/2/2006 8:30:13 AM)

I am very new to the lifestyle and I've only served one Master, a wonderful man who agreed to train me for three months until I relocate across the country.

I'll be moving in three weeks and my emotions are so stirred up.  Sometimes when we start to play I am finding it hard to open up to him, probably because I am thinking about how soon I will be leaving, and when he questions me about what's going on in my head, there have been plenty of tears and discussions.

Since this has been my first D/s relationship and I've grown so fond of my Master and trust him so implicitly, I'm having a hard time letting go.  I've even 'teased' with him about considering moving out where I am going to (highly doubtful) and at one point I was considering not moving and staying with him instead in hopes that he would decide to keep me permanently (a long shot but a slim possibility, he said).  Eventually I decided that everything was pointing to me moving on in my education and career path, even though it means that I will no longer have a Dom.

So, I wonder if I'll be able to stay in the lifestyle as we both hope (the place I am moving is pretty sparsely populated with few dominants, at least on collarme), how much of my wonderful experience has been just because of him, how I'll adapt to eventually serving someone else, and how I'll make this transition from being a 24/7 slave to being completely on my own.

Do any of you have experiences where you've had to let go of a dominant (or submissive) that you still care for because of life circumstances, not a break-up?  How have you made the adjustment?  Do you have any suggestions for making a smooth transition in this situation.

Many thanks,
sapphire



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How to Let Go of a Dominant You Care For (7/2/2006 8:52:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure
Do any of you have experiences where you've had to let go of a dominant (or submissive) that you still care for because of life circumstances, not a break-up?  How have you made the adjustment?  Do you have any suggestions for making a smooth transition in this situation.

Many thanks,
sapphire

Other than the standard, time and experience.  Get yourself busy to make your new home a happy place.  It's not easy, but you know it's the right choice.  If there are a few people on collarme in the area, it means that there are more ACTUALLY in the area.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: How to Let Go of a Dominant You Care For (7/2/2006 10:44:49 AM)

Life is constantly in flux..situations change, needs change,and one must roll with whatever fate dishes out.Look upon your move as a change not positive nor negative but an exciting unknown adventure.You have developed a good relationship with your Master with the knowledge by the 2 of you that it was temporary, it gave you greater insight into yourself ,it gained you more experience,it showed you more than likely what kind of Master you will look for in the future, one where it is not temporary but with a look towards a more permanent relationship.You have gained much, but now it is time to move on.It is scarey to leave what you know and head toward the unknown,but such an adventure you will experience!....be well..and best wishes..Tempting



sapphirepleasure -> RE: How to Let Go of a Dominant You Care For (7/2/2006 11:26:22 AM)

Thank you both for your responses.  You are right--I will look forward to my new life knowing that it was the next step to take and be grateful for what I have gained and learned in the meantime.  Even though we knew it was temporary from the outset, letting go is not easy (at least not for me--he seems more stoic, but I suspect he's going to miss me as well).  It's all good, though, and I'll survive and someday look forward to a more permanent relationship.



Level -> RE: How to Let Go of a Dominant You Care For (7/2/2006 11:47:29 AM)

You sound like a good woman, sapphire, so I would certainly agree, he is likely to miss you as well. But as LA and tempting said, sometimes you have to move on, which can be scary, but if you keep your eyes and heart open, I think you'll have a lot of wonderful experiences to look forward to. Good luck.
 



sapphirepleasure -> RE: How to Let Go of a Dominant You Care For (7/2/2006 12:00:07 PM)

Thank you very much for your well wishes, Level, and for your reminder to keep my eyes and heart open.  I'll look for good things to come.



Quivver -> RE: How to Let Go of a Dominant You Care For (7/2/2006 1:48:54 PM)

Please let me add my nickle's worth if you will.
While your moving on and meeting new do your best not to compair.
Sometimes we build pedistals so high out of the thin air of our wishfull
imagination the fog down below keeps us from moving on. 
So, try to keep your head in reality while you make some new friends.

Q



champagnewishes -> RE: How to Let Go of a Dominant You Care For (7/2/2006 7:44:45 PM)

Finding someone who has a significant impact on your life is hard...saying goodbye is even harder.  It's at times like this that i find it easier to think with my head instead of my heart.  Focus on the positive influence they have had on your life.  Honor it by taking what they have given you and moving forward.



irishbynature -> RE: How to Let Go of a Dominant You Care For (7/2/2006 8:47:03 PM)

Maybe this wonderful Dom was placed in your life to open you up to your true self (nature) and help you discover yourself. As you continue to grow, a new Dom will present Himself....and it will be even more satisfying than you could imagine at this moment. Now, you are aware of your limits and ready to move into a new life, with wonderful possibilites!
Best of luck![;)]
Irish



sapphirepleasure -> RE: How to Let Go of a Dominant You Care For (7/3/2006 5:43:28 AM)

Thank you all (Quivver, Champagne and Irish) for your wise and encouraging comments.  It's so true that I must be thankful for what I have gained (the self-knowledge and experience) as I trust the Universe that there will be someone else in time. 

This is such a huge transition for me--leaving full-time employment and going back to school to pursue a PhD in a place I've never lived--and though we tried to work out another Master/living situation there, it was not to be, so I must do this big move on my own. I am fighting my fears but I am committed to making this a good and positive step forward in my life.

xo
sapphire



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