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New - 10/9/2013 8:57:14 PM

JohninNY

Posts: 6
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

So i am new both to this site and the lifestyle. Very curious, but not fully sure what I am looking for.

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RE: New - 10/10/2013 7:34:34 AM

Rasciallymisty

Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline

Hello John and welcome to the forums the discussion side of the site. Its nice to have you join us and much learning can be done here. Stick around and join in on a few of the discussions. There is a good group of people on this side with vast amount of knowledge to be shared.

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Been here since 2004

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RE: New - 10/10/2013 10:07:36 PM

TigressLily

Posts: 436
Status: offline

Greetings, John. Since you're in NY, there should be many events going on where you can meet others, munches in coffee shops, and so forth. That way you can get your feet wet in a casual conversational atmosphere, without feeling pressured to plunge right into anything before you're ready. Don't hesitate to ask questions. We all started out as newbies (or noobers, as some put it).

It's strange how your posting displays you joined in Feb 2005, whereas your profile displays less than 2 days ago. Doesn't make sense. Have you been in hibernation for 8 years? Your profile is blank and should contain at least 1-2 paragraphs about yourself as a person and what you are seeking (LTR, play partner, type of Domme, etc.). Don't over-emphasize fetishes/kinks even though this is a BDSM site, because you have a lot of competition with other male subs and you should make yourself stand out in a good way.

Best of luck in your search.

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* * * Not A Fetish/Kink Delivery System * * *

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(in reply to JohninNY)

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RE: New - 10/11/2013 8:30:55 AM

OohAahMrs

Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline

Ere John, welcome to CM

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RE: New - 10/11/2013 8:17:56 PM

JohninNY

Posts: 6
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

That's curious. No I just joined a few days ago, wasn't even living in the city in 05. Perhaps someone else had the usernamer and the database that cm uses doesn't fully purge their records?

Thank you for the advice on the profile. I know I have to spend sometime on it. I'm extremely reluctant to display my photo, although I fully grasp how much more preferable it would be. Perhaps as I get more comfortable.

(in reply to OohAahMrs)

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RE: New - 10/12/2013 8:29:29 AM

garyFLR

Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline

Hi John.

Welcome to CM.

If you follow the advice of the ladies above, you won't go far wrong.

All the best, Gary.

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RE: New - 10/12/2013 7:48:05 PM

JohninNY

Posts: 6
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Yeah, it appears that at some point in time, someone had this name. He made a few posts back in 2005.

One thing that I am curious about, I've been contacted by a few dominants. Have chatted with them on yahoo messenger, at which point in time they ask me to fill join as a member if various paid sites, such as alt.com, bdsmdatelink, ect. I'm assuming that these are scams. Or is it legitimately standard practice?

Thanks again.

(in reply to garyFLR)

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RE: New - 10/13/2013 7:41:20 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5175
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

When you click on mail you have received on Collarme you will see red and blue notes at the top of the page. Click on them to read about common internet scams.

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RE: New - 10/13/2013 8:16:11 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I'm assuming that these are scams.

Yes, with no profile and no picture, the only "women" who would be interested in you are scammers.

There are many ways to anonymize a picture. You can also attach a picture with your first email. Here's a great post with tips on profile writing and sending emails: For men: how to find a woman here

(in reply to JohninNY)

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RE: New - 10/13/2013 5:42:14 PM

JohninNY

Posts: 6
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Hey thanks. I mean, I assumed as much, but wanted to confirm with someone that knew what they were talking about.

(in reply to kalikshama)

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Post #: 10