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Reward & Appreciation - 7/1/2006 6:10:45 PM

KnightofMists

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I wonder do you see the difference in Reward as compared to simple Appreciation? Is Recognition any different that Reward?

In short what is a Reward to you?

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/1/2006 6:18:22 PM

Taylore

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I wonder do you see the difference in Reward as compared to simple Appreciation? Is Recognition any different that Reward?

In short what is a Reward to you?

Master shows his appreciation of me every day that we are together. A simple smile, a finger down the cheek, a whispered 'good girl'.
However, he often rewards me when I have finished a particularly hard section with work; sometimes he will take me to dinner, or he will cook dinner for me.

I do not look for rewards in my service to him; but I am appreciated every day.

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/1/2006 6:19:33 PM

crouchingtigress

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From: Maui
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i appreciate any boy who serves me, they will feel this from me with compliments and smiles and such...but rewards are when they go over and above, do something special, and when that happens they get some sort of treat...maybe a new possition or title, maybe a token or toy, and maybe ill ask them what they want most and then offer it to them....but to me there is a difference in thier mindset in that, i think they always know they are appreciated but they strive for rewards, and that makes it even more fun and special for us...

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/1/2006 6:34:55 PM

SusanofO

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The word reward implies some kind of control (of the rewardee) on the part of the person doing the rewarding (my view). Appreciation (to me) is freely given (and received). Recognition implies less (or no) control of the person being recognized. It's semantics, really, to me (if the actions of those involved would be the same otherwise no matter what words are used).

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/1/2006 6:41:05 PM >

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And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/1/2006 6:38:24 PM

sublizzie

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When I do service and am told "good girl" that is a reward to me. I strive to hear those words.

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/1/2006 6:49:48 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
I wonder do you see the difference in Reward as compared to simple Appreciation? Is Recognition any different that Reward?

In short what is a Reward to you?

I use the typical psychological terms- a reward is giving something that will be taken positively to encourage repetition of a certain behavior.

I understand it is not INHERENTLY the same as appreciation, but how I've grown up and learned to process things, appreciation is a type of reward to me.

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/1/2006 6:57:52 PM

Padriag

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

The word reward implies some kind of control (of the rewardee) on the part of the person doing the rewarding (my view). Appreciation (to me) is freely given (and received). Recognition implies less (or no) control of the person being recognized. It's semantics, really, to me (if the actions of those involved would be the same otherwise no matter what words are used).

- Susan

I disagree Susan, appreciation is never freely given. It is always earned in some way. You may not have asked them to earn it, but they did do something to do so. For example, if someone brings you an unexpected gift, you appreciate it. You may not have asked for the gift, nor asked for anything else when you show your appreciation... but none the less that appreciation was earned by the giving of the gift in the first place. Had they not given a gift (or some similar gesture) you would have had nothing to appreciate.

To answer KoM's question, in terms of behavioral psychology both reward and appreciation are, or can be, reinforcers. As such, both can serve (and often do) the same function, they make it more likely a past behavior will be repeated in the future. Some simple examples.

A friend does something thoughtful for you unexpectedly, you show your appreciation by sending them a thank you note and perhaps a small gift. That show of appreciation will reinforce the friend's thoughtful behavior and make it more likely they will be thoughtful again in the future.

Recently I sold a house. I took everyone who was involved in remodelling or the sale of the house out to a nice dinner to show my appreciation for the work they had done (they were paid, this was a bonus). Doing so will make it more likely that their past hard work will be repeated in the future if I ask them to work for me again (some of whom I will).

A slave is told to perform a simple task by their owner, they do so obediently and are told "good girl / boy." That simple show of appreciation will make obedience in such simple tasks more likely in the future.

A slave is required to do something difficult, or significant, or perhaps has worked hard to at some special task. As a reward the slave is given a special privilege. That reward will make the past behavior of doing difficult things, working hard, etc. to please their owner more likely in the future.

Reward and appreciation may be different in form, appearance, substance, etc... but their function as reinforcers is identical.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/1/2006 8:26:00 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I wonder do you see the difference in Reward as compared to simple Appreciation? Is Recognition any different that Reward?

In short what is a Reward to you?

My experience is: Appreciation is when he says, "I see how hard you are working for me and I appreciate what you are doing." Reward is the end result of my hard work. It means we are that much more connected, and that I am stronger for it, and that he draws me in closer. Sometimes reward is a simple pat on the head, however.

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/1/2006 8:40:12 PM

BitaTruble

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Feedback is always appreciated and for me, it's a great reward as well as a good tool of communication whether it's positive or negative as it allows me to either increase the value of service to Himself or to stop a behavior or action which is of no value to him.

Celeste

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/1/2006 10:50:53 PM

FangsNfeet

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I say "Thank you" when task are completed.

I also take my sub out for fun and give massages as well as buy gifts from time to time.

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/1/2006 11:00:12 PM

ChainedExistence

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Reward is more or less an exchange for a service,,,,you found my dog, I give you a reward
Appreciation is more of something I express out of my graititude or appreciation...I REALLY LOVE that dog, it's like my baby, so I also make you cookies !
Recognition is for when you find all the missing dogs in town and the newspaper prints your picture and you get a key to the city, and a kiss from the local beauty queen.

As for what I view as reward....a comment that he likes something I've done makes me happy, and if he appreciates it , all the better!

< Message edited by ChainedExistence -- 7/1/2006 11:05:39 PM >

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/2/2006 12:36:23 AM

trippingdaisy

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Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Georgia
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my reward from Master: "Good girl".

And His smile. Wonderful.

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/2/2006 1:30:18 AM

Vendaval

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I would say that for a sub/slave Appreciation would be a smile
and a "thank you" from the Dom/me; Recognition would be
when the Dom/me praises the sub/slave in front of others and
Reward could be something more tangible, a flogging, an hour of private
time with the Dom/me or perhaps a special treat.

Vendaval

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/2/2006 6:10:18 AM

sophia37

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According to my thesaurus, Reward = Return Appreciation = approval Recognition = Acknowledgment

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/2/2006 8:36:09 AM

ChainedExistence

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As for what I view as reward....a comment that he likes something I've done makes me happy, and if he appreciates it , all the better!
[/quote]

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/2/2006 10:29:50 AM

Bearlee

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Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
I wonder do you see the difference in Reward as compared to simple Appreciation? Is Recognition any different that Reward?

In short what is a Reward to you?

Wow… very interesting. Here’s my thoughts…right of the cuff (so to speak), and without reading the other posts yet.

For someone to exhibit Appreciation to me is a sort of reward-by-recognition for me. I am a ‘should-er’; a pleaser and not all that self assured (in many aspects)…so I strive to do well and am tickled pink when it is obvious I’ve done so.

About Rewards in general, I’d say mostly I think of them as less emotional/intangible things and more physical. A Reward to me would be a gift, for example. This is generally speaking.

Some people use ‘play’ or even ‘time’ as a Reward…I see play and time as things people share in the course of their lives; not as ‘reward’.

I would see Recognition as much the same as Appreciation, but perhaps on a more ‘public’ level. Appreciation, to me, is probably a quiet, heartfelt, personal thing; while Recognition a more public thing…often accompanied with a plaque or ribbon or badge or something.

I’m thinking I would be as embarrassed about receiving a reward for something I’d done, as receiving punishment. I’d much rather conversations happen.

beverly

MOO; MNSHO…….YMMV

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 7/2/2006 10:39:37 AM >

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/2/2006 10:44:20 AM

denika

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Hmm for me appreciation is diffrent that reward, to appreciate someone or a trait someone has doesn't specificly mean you are rewarding them. I appreciate the fact Rob makes me laugh and You make me feel safe. Recognition intself can be the reward. If you take something for granted that means you miss out on it's value.

Reward to me is something earned above and beyond the normal/healthy appreciation of those who interact together. A stranger can reward someone with a compliment but it means so much more when it comes from someone of importance in your life.

A reward for me is time spent in the company of those I care about,being allowed to serve and a very simple "good girl' when said with meaning will make my week.

denika

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/2/2006 11:03:45 AM

Caretakr

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fast reply.

Apreciation is noticing the little things.

Reward, is a payment for things not so little.

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/2/2006 11:04:20 AM

LokisBrat

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From: Mayberry, Illinois
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For me, Recognition is just that. A recognizing of some act I performed, whether it be from an instructor at uni, telling me I did a good job on that last paper, or way back when, the Army recognizing that I busted my butt for Clinton's S. Korea visit.

Reward is different. Reward is often a tangible thing. For instance, when I've made Loki exceptionally pleased with my actions, he may reward me in the form of allowing me to sleep in late on a Saturday, and doing all the daily things himself. Or, when the uni determines that because of my consistent GPA, they offer me a highly sought-after Research Asst. position in the NeuroScience lab on campus.

What I've learned in my studies is that recognition and reward are strung together on the motivation scale for most of us. No person does any action without anticipation of a payoff. Whether the payoff is negative or positive doesn't matter. What matters is that any particular person, or animal, will continue to do that which earns it a payoff. When there is no payoff, in terms of emotional satisfaction, revenge, control, food, whatever, we stop doing things.

Appreciation is showing recognition, and often rewarding behaviour.

Just my $.02.
Brat

Edited to add the line I forgot!

< Message edited by LokisBrat -- 7/2/2006 11:06:21 AM >

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-Loki

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RE: Reward & Appreciation - 7/2/2006 11:38:22 AM

LadyHugs

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Dear KnightofMist, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In appreciating, someone else's efforts it does not require a drama. It can be silently acknowledge with a nod, a smile, a gesture and such and or make it more tangable; but we are inspired in our appreciation to make note of it. Most times we are acknowledging an effort.

Whereas, in rewards it goes beyond appreciation of an effort but the effects/affects of the effort or it's final conclusion and the full purpose of the original intent manifested to it's finished and polished off 'end.'

In my mind's eye the appreciation is often outwardly focused however, the reward can be internal as well as external as it concerns us as individuals; to include taking the external and giving outward as to allow others to 'feel' their appreciation and gratitude, thus have a feeling of being rewarded.

We appreciate our mentors, those who serve, who host/hostess dinners, parties, events. We express appreciation in many forms, from a silent gesture to giving gifts as a reward but, more a token of appreciation and thanks. In giving gifts it is not mandatory but, inspired. We appreciate the police officers, firemen and others who went in to the World Trade Centers and those who survived have said their reward was pulling people out so they could live.

In the venue of rewards, we feel gratification for job well done. A lot of times our 'Top space/sub space' is a reward, a high, a wonderful place to be or that "WOW." We are also rewarded externally by, the slave who thanks their Dominant for a fantastic scene, our peers giving us praise for a scene, a job well done or for a period of time for faithful, dutiful, honorable and outstanding job in the scene. By having 'satisfaction,' it is an reward, regardless if it is self satisfaction or given praise or outsider's satisfaction-we are rewarded in many ways, to include spiritually, emotionally, mentally and most obviously through physical rewards.

However, I must also add, that it is the 'spirit of intent' that makes a behavior positive or negative. Unfortunately, those who have to be negative as to dampen the appreciations and or rewards towards others, often have their own appreciation to others who aid in this negative behavior and their rewards are in causing the downfall and or humiliation of others.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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