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njlauren -> RE: Is it common for submisives to be seriously Dominant in their Public and Professional life?ly (10/6/2013 11:02:22 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Charles6682
One of the biggest "reasons" people feel male subs were justified in their submission, is because they must have been a major CEO and needed a break from being in control. While I don't doubt this is true, it just seemed like it was a way to make powerful male subs feel "okay". So, what about all the many subs who didn't have endless money to afford private sessions? What was their excuse?
Charles, I think you are confusing some things here, and without using the term 'real' , because it is so loaded, there are different kinds of submission IME.
What you are describing is a common perception of the pro domme dynamic, and there is truth to it, where these uber alpha types go there to blow off steam, to give up control, to 'submit'. Having been in that world as a client, there is some truth to that. I made friends with a lot of pro dommes over the years, and one of the things they often complained about was that type of man would come in and want to 'submit', yet would treat them like their subordinates, demand things, etc (I kind of believe them, one of the things pro dommes would often talk about after we did a session was it was great to have someone who treated them in and out of session with respect and was pleasant to deal with). My take on these guys they did the session to blow off steam, as a kind of fantasy things, but weren't really submissive in the sense we are talking about, it is different. Remember that in most pro sessions, despite all the claims about submitting,it is often more about the domme doing the client, not the client really serving (and I am not looking down on it, just using it to explain). I think this is where the concept of 'it is okay to be sub, because they are high powered men just needing to have a place where they can let go'...and in this case, lot of truth. BTW, there are some women who go to pro dommes for the same reason, though they are a lot more scarce, maybe because many of them can 'let go' at home or whatever more easily than men can.
There are people who go to pros to submit, where they literally give over control to the domme, where they are submissive and this is how they play it out, maybe because they can't in their real relationships, etc. In a sense, that was my story, it started off as more 'do me', and it evolved, and ended up in my life, so that goes on. One pro domme who I both had sessions with and played with had a high power female sub who came in, and she was like that, my friend said the woman was truly sub, and she could do a lot with her, it was totally with what she wanted to do with her, it was de facto almost an owned relationship, albeit within the limits of a pro session (my friend liked her and having her serve, but would not want her as her own for real, not that strong a bond). From what I heard from my friend, the woman left her marriage and ended up with a woman dominant, and I hear they had this incredible TPE relationship, intense to a level I would never want to do....
I think the key thing is recognizing there are different types of dominants and submissives. For submissives, some of them are so submissive they could submit to anyone, like in stories of the wife who gets into trouble because they can submit to anyone (yeah, I know, not a great example..), there are men who are not anywhere near alpha in their real life, are not forceful or presenting with anyone. There also are people who in their work life are leaders, who are very commanding, etc, who are submissive in their personal life but only to a certain person. That kind of describes me, I am not submissive to someone where it doesn't click, and it makes my lady/spouse very happy, on top of everything else she would be worried about someone taking advantage of me if I wasn't like that. Someone can be very pliant with the dominant (which I am not totally....:), and be a wolf outside, it all depends. IME, some dominants want a sub who seems like Jeff's Carol, others want the challenge of a a sub who is more of a challenge, depends on the dominant, too.
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