RE: Jealousy (it's not what you think)

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Jealousy (it's not what you think)

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Jealousy (it's not what you think)

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Jealousy (it's not what you think) - 6/29/2006 1:50:03 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

She doesn't sound like a friend

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to litleone8620)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Jealousy (it's not what you think) - 6/29/2006 2:50:36 PM

litleone8620

Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline

I didn't tell my friend that the lifestyle wasn't for her just so i can go back to feeling special about it.

I told her because i didn't want to see her get hurt in the process of finding what she wants.

I know there are all kinds of wannabe 'Masters' and 'dominants' out there just waiting to take a bite out of a fresh piece of meat (my friend).

I talked to her again after i signed off, and i told her all this. We came to an understanding.

I told her i really had her best interests at heart, and at the time, i felt like i was doing/saying the right thing. So she told me it (obviously) wasn't my choice to make. That everyone makes mistakes; and if this choice she's making is a mistake, it's hers to make alone.

I told her i'd be around if she ever needed to talk about anything, or anybody.

She never denied not doing this to prove that she can, and i'm afraid she's going to get into a lot of trouble because of it.

On edit: I've made the decision that it's her life, and her mistakes to make. But that doesn't stop me from being afraid for her.

< Message edited by litleone8620 -- 6/29/2006 2:52:16 PM >

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Jealousy (it's not what you think) - 6/29/2006 3:38:30 PM

anthrosub

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

This may or may not help.

Jealously (like all other emotions) is not something you have (like a pair of shoes). It's who you are. The more you try to distance yourself from the feelings, the more difficult it will be to move through the experience because you're not embracing yourself (which at present is in the state of jealousy). That is your being. It's like your skin. You cannot peal it off and walk away.

Only by realizing you "are" jealousy will you be able to move forward to another state of being.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to litleone8620)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Jealousy (it's not what you think) - 6/29/2006 4:25:12 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

I didn't tell my friend that the lifestyle wasn't for her just so i can go back to feeling special about it.

I told her because i didn't want to see her get hurt in the process of finding what she wants.

I know there are all kinds of wannabe 'Masters' and 'dominants' out there just waiting to take a bite out of a fresh piece of meat (my friend).

I talked to her again after i signed off, and i told her all this. We came to an understanding.

I told her i really had her best interests at heart, and at the time, i felt like i was doing/saying the right thing. So she told me it (obviously) wasn't my choice to make. That everyone makes mistakes; and if this choice she's making is a mistake, it's hers to make alone.

I told her i'd be around if she ever needed to talk about anything, or anybody.

She never denied not doing this to prove that she can, and i'm afraid she's going to get into a lot of trouble because of it.

On edit: I've made the decision that it's her life, and her mistakes to make. But that doesn't stop me from being afraid for her.

And that's understandable...any time a friend of ours makes a choice to engage in something that we know to have its dangers, whether it be skydiving or being at the receiving end of a leather whip, we are afraid for them. But as adults, we realize that they have a right to make their own decisions.

As for her making her decision based on the fact that you engage in D/s/BDSM and so she thinks/feels she might be good at it too; certainly if that is the only reasoning behind it, she will either most likely soon be out of it OR she may have a whole new world opened up to her.
Again, that is for her to find out and not your decision/discovery to make for her.

Something brought you to this...whether it was a friend or self-exploration or whatever. We all come to it different ways. While what you say about her always having to one-up you and others may indeed play a factor, your jealousy over her choices is what threatens you...not her choices themselves. Especially not at this stage of your life. I would also suggest that, if your circle of friends buys into this type of behavior and sits on the sideline waiting for sparks to erupt between you two (which I suspect from your post may have happened in the past), then you might want to consider just how they are as friends.

MOO, YMMV

~~Human nature...tis a puzzlement sometimes~~

(in reply to litleone8620)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Jealousy (it's not what you think) - 6/29/2006 4:28:04 PM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

I have never yet managed to be upset at a friend finding happiness in a way I could enjoy seeing them do.

It's why I make a great mentor to new Doms,I can enjoy thier sense of wonder and excitement vicariously.

(in reply to litleone8620)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Jealousy (it's not what you think) - 6/29/2006 4:36:20 PM

litleone8620

Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline

I always enjoy your posts.

I'm not sure if her exploration is anything i personally want to live vicariously through.

Besides, i still have that feeling of wonder and awe at BDSM. And i hope a sense of it never goes away.

(in reply to Caretakr)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Jealousy (it's not what you think) - 6/29/2006 5:16:39 PM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

I always enjoy your posts.

I'm not sure if her exploration is anything i personally want to live vicariously through.

Besides, i still have that feeling of wonder and awe at BDSM. And i hope a sense of it never goes away.

Thank you littleone.
I think that my sense of empathy is about the only thing that keeps me coming back..After so many mixed years of truly astounding pleasures,mixed with some of the most annoying drama imaginable.

Through it all,I prefer to remember the good times. And hope for more. So,whether you view your firend as doing something positive,and adding to your pleasure-or taking that away.........

Is about if your glass is half empty-or half full.

Decide.