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does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 5:38:13 AM

mistresszariah1

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I have a question, I know of a sub that likes anal play with all kinds of things including vegtables persay. he is into Me but perferrs that to anything else .he say he is bi curious, but actually being with a man by himelf is gross but wants to be made to by a Mistress. hmmmmm Im really confused is he gay?

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 5:43:51 AM

MHOO314

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IMHO--no, he is not gay---I have seen many submissives who prefer to approach what they preceive to be "forbidden" pathways at the direction of the Dom or Domina---it takes away what they believe is the guilt factor--they have to obey you ( in their beliefs) and so it is not a "free decision"--- I wouldn't worry--he wants to experiment and he is very "in touch" with one of his many errogenous zones.

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 5:46:51 AM

mistresszariah1

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thnak you for the reply, but he i very much into anal and not o much into actual pemetration but loves to orally ervice? Im really confused

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 5:50:00 AM

zumala

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I don't know Your submissive, but I can say that enjoying anal stimulations does not a gay man make. My husband is hetero (obviously), but he enjoys anal stimulation along with lots of other fun activities.

zuma

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 6:09:33 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistresszariah1
I have a question, I know of a sub that likes anal play with all kinds of things including vegtables persay. he is into Me but perferrs that to anything else .he say he is bi curious, but actually being with a man by himelf is gross but wants to be made to by a Mistress. hmmmmm Im really confused is he gay?

Why don't we go with the idea that he's actually telling the truth about himself and considers himself bi-curious?

Anal play tends to feel really good to most people if done right. That doesn't have anything to do with what orientation a person is.

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 6:10:34 AM

MstrssPassion

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From: West Palm Beach, FL
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As to being gay, only he can answer that question & that is only if he is willing to answer that question. If he says he is bi-curious but in the same breath says the idea of being with a man is gross... seems as though he has issues that he needs to resolve & come to terms with his orientation.

Furthermore if he is suggesting that he be pushed by someone to engage in a sexual act with another man, then he is obviously not wanting to take responsibility of this on his own... another sign of denial or at least the inability to accept his own actions/desire.

Personally I will not engage in this. If a man wishes to explore his sexual identity then he needs to do so on his own & not place me in a position of blame if he regrets the activity afterward.

A side note as to anal play in general...

A man that enjoys anal stimulation is just that, a man who enjoys anal stimulation.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 6/29/2006 6:18:02 AM >

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 6:15:13 AM

zenofeller

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being gay is being attracted to men, not enjoying anal play. the latter may be an indicator, yes, but as albatross says, why not take their word for it ?

you're basically saying that since it flies it's a plane. ever seen a heli ?

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 6:19:48 AM

mistresszariah1

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Ok lets put it like this, he has asked Me , am i gay because I like anal alot over anything else, he wants to be forced to try it ,he say he is curious but being alone with a man is not right,he loves the woman body but perferrs oral over pentration with a female i thi a bad realtionship to dip into?

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 6:21:39 AM

Smythe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistresszariah1

thnak you for the reply, but he i very much into anal and not o much into actual pemetration but loves to orally ervice? Im really confused

If that male is gay, then so is my boy and hmmm 97.6% of other submissive men I have met!

Best
Smythe

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 6:36:29 AM

zenofeller

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistresszariah1
i thi a bad realtionship to dip into?

i would say it's a bad relationship to dip into because you need to ask.

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 6:50:06 AM

darkinshadows

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Enjoying anal does not make one gay.

If he is contemplating bi - it may be he is - or he may just be thinking he is because of his love of anal - he may be under the impression that because he loves anal, that must mean he likes men as well, but his feelings are that he may be attracted to females.

He just seems a little confused right now and needs some strong guidence. Ont he question - should you get involved? If you cannot answer the question he asked, I would say no, as I believe he needs someone to help shape and guide him into his future and if you cannot answer that question yourself, then your not the person who can help his growth.

This situation really shouldnt be about you, it is about him.

Peace and Rapture

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 6:54:37 AM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay?

Absolutely not, though I did strugle with this question when I first began learning about wiitwd.

quote:

he say he is bi curious, but actually being with a man by himelf is gross but wants to be made to by a Mistress. hmmmmm Im really confused is he gay?

Being Bi curious doesn't make one gay either, and the label I suppose hardly matters if you are in a relationship that causes/fosters feelings of distrust and insecurity within yourself... Maybe as others have said he is simply Bi curious. There are men who want the experience but don't want the perceived stigma, so need a domina to "force him" *wink, wink* to try it. If you would enjoy it, why worry if he's gay, just have fun.

quote:

darkinshadows
He just seems a little confused right now and needs some strong guidence. Ont he question - should you get involved? If you cannot answer the question he asked, I would say no, as I believe he needs someone to help shape and guide him into his future and if you cannot answer that question yourself, then your not the person who can help his growth.

Dark you've hit on something that I've toyed with but backed away from because I felt the ramifications were too heavy. Is this something a dominant can/should do, unless he is a trained psychologist/psychiatrist?

I've known a man like the one the OP decribes, but felt I didn't want to/nor that I was equiped to deal with the fallout of such a decision. A man who is relatively conservative as his parents know him, and is clearly uncomfortable with his attraction to the male form wanted to be forced to submit that way... I knew that in time, I could deliver that type of play, and knew he would enjoy it, but how would he cope with the knowledge? A lot of people would rather take their lives that live with something they consider extremely shameful, and I would not cope well with negative consequences of a situation I specifically created to test an extreme psychological boundary. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 6/29/2006 7:04:39 AM >

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 7:04:51 AM

MasterFireMaam

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From: Charleston, WV
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Perhaps you are (or he is) confusing sexual pleasure with sexual orientation. Sexual pleasure is, well, what feels good during sex. Sexual orientation speaks about who we are attracted to and are interested in having sex with. For gay men, these two things are the same, when it comes to anal sex. However, there are plenty of women who enjoy anal sex and they're not worried if they're secretly gay men.

Just some thoughts.

Master Fire

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 7:09:30 AM

Lordandmaster

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Maybe he's radish-curious.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistresszariah1

I have a question, I know of a sub that likes anal play with all kinds of things including vegtables persay.

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Post #: 14

RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 7:15:09 AM

Driver1961

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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He dips His lid,

Zenofellar says it well.

Maybe you should ask youself who has the issue here. You are asking for advice here and I find 'labelling' someone who is expressing themselves without fear (and apparently as honestly as possible) to be very damaging. He is not gay, nor is he bi, nor would I say bi-curious. He is simply eager to explore sex n' bdsm play and push his boundaries to learn more of himself. I find this very admirable and deserving of respect- definitely not deserving of the condemnation that 'labelling' or 'pigeonholing' conjures up!

We all know that fantasies turned into reality strengthen one's personal beliefs. He may well find that what he considers/believes/hypothesises to be the case is the reality; that he does in fact enjoy male stimulation as an extension of play/control/humiliation 'directed' by his Mistress. For this you can surely take a bow Mistresszariah1! He may well find the whole process to be a 'once only event' Regardless of the outcome he is furthering his growth under your guidence/control which is an essential element of a Dom/mes care to their submissive/s.

If this concept of play is outside your boundaries of play as a Mistress then so be it, you voice this and he continues to submit or asks to be relieved of his collar.

Warm regards to you Mistresszariah1.

Driver1961, Sir to His loving Wildchild.

If his honesty

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 7:54:07 AM

Arpig

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No

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 8:16:46 AM

onyurknees

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/10/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistresszariah1

I have a question, I know of a sub that likes anal play with all kinds of things including vegtables persay. he is into Me but perferrs that to anything else .he say he is bi curious, but actually being with a man by himelf is gross but wants to be made to by a Mistress. hmmmmm Im really confused is he gay?

The human male is such a wonderfully complex creature and thank heavens for that.
It seems to Me there are several issues here.
First of all enjoying anal play doesn't in and of itself make anyone gay. It makes them people who enjoy pleasure. Whether it's salad fixings, a dildo/strap-on or the male penis, things do feel good stimulating the anus.
As to bi-curious, I have met several male subs who would never of their own accord approach a male for sex but who enjoy the (societally-indoctrinated) humiliation of being taken by a man for Mistress to watch. Of course, this can also be a way of being forced into doing something they deeply want to do but are perhaps afraid/ashamed to vocalize. You know, like subs who are into 'forced feminization" but have a bigger wardrobe than Cher...? Sometimes, due to the negativity society puts around same sex pleasure, people feel they need to be "forced" into it and then it's okay.
And then there's the issue of his pleasuring You. It sounds as though he loves to service you orally but is not much into actual intercourse. While My experience is hardly vast, I have met male subs who find it difficult to have intercourse with a Mistress. While they love to please her, in intercourse the male sometimes appears to have some kind of control, to be the one in charge, or it reminds them of their vanilla relationships in which their wives/girlfriends expected them to take charge of the lovemaking and this makes them distinctly uncomfortable.
At any rate, as long as he is enjoying serving and pleasing You above all, perhaps the gay issue is moot.
Just my few cents worth.
Lynn

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 8:23:08 AM

lanwolf

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Ok just becuase he likes reciving anal is no indication that he is gay, prefering oral sex over intercourse to me at least is also not an indication, the simple way to look at this is he says he is bicurious but the thought of being with just a man is wrong to him. Well either he is not fully being honest with himself about his feelings or he is telling You the truth. Only he can answer that one. Even at that maybe he is bi, i myself am bi but prefer Female Dom's over Male but i have been with both and there are bounuses both ways.

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 8:40:55 AM

Lashra

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Hmm no if he was gay he'd go for a guy who didnt need to wear a strapon. Now he maybe bi curious, but it sounds more like he wants the Mistress to force a bi session on him to fulfil a fantasy. Nothing wrong with that as long as everyone agrees its cool.

~Lashra
Whipping asses since 1981

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RE: does a sub wanting a strap on make him gay? - 6/29/2006 9:01:58 AM

sublace

Posts: 201
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Not at all. I love being filled and I love women. I may be bi, though I'm not sure if loving women and big cocks makes me bi, looking at guys does nothing for me. Anal play is just plan fun and feels good, it doesn't make your sexual orientation.

sublace

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 20

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