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RE: Disappointment! - 6/26/2006 9:04:47 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		"I feel disappointed" means he's focused on himself for whatever reason.  If I'm inclined to make 'it' better I'll ask what I can do to mitigate the situation.  If  it impresses Me as though he's whining, I'll deprive him of My company for an extended period of time and that stops the bitching.

"You have disappointed me", on the other hand, I would take seriously enough to possibly end the relathionship.  I've never heard those words from a sub.  Hope I never do!

Good question.

TexasMaam

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RE: Disappointment! - 6/26/2006 9:18:56 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'm dissappointed to me means that i did not achieve the outcome i was hoping for. I have dissapointed myself on numerous occasions for making decisions I feel i should have known better then to make. Or I did not work hard enough to achieve the goal i had set for myself.

You have dissapointed me - means that you have done something that does not live up to the expectations that i have for you.

If i disapointment myself then there is no one to blame but myself. Although the same can be said when you make the latter statement. For instance when you say to a child

"You have dissappointed me" it usually means they have done something that you felt you had raised them with better judgement or moral standing. Usually you are therefore still disapointed in yourself for not instilling the proper judgment and morallity into them.  I guess this could stand true for your sub/slave/bottom as well. If you thought you had fully explained what was expected of them only to realize that they did not seem to comprehend anything you were trying to get across. Whether it be out of lack of understanding or lack of giving a damn.

Being dissappointed in another is usually stemed from an emotional place. It makes one sad to realize that the other person is not whom they thought they were.

< Message edited by akisha -- 6/26/2006 9:20:40 PM >

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RE: Disappointment! - 6/26/2006 10:08:42 PM   
marieToo


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Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		General reply to OP:

It would completely depend on the million and one different contexts that either/both statements could/would be applied to, who said it, in reference to what, etc etc.

I wish I had more to bite into on this one. 

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RE: Disappointment! - 6/26/2006 10:47:55 PM   
Taylore


Posts: 121
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Two Phrases from your Partner be they Dominant or Submissive due to a situation between the two of you.

"I feel Disappointed!"

"You have Disappointed me!"

Do you see a difference in the phrases?  If so,what are they?



Editted for a damn typo... GRRRRRRRRRR

"I feel disappointed" is aimed more at the speaker than at the one being spoken to.
 
"You have disappointed me" is aimed at the one being spoken to and not the speaker.

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RE: Disappointment! - 6/26/2006 11:14:30 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		When I think of those two phrases I go by how the wording makes me feel. not so much the  technical meaning of the paraphrase

The first statement brings out the caregiver instinct in me, I want to know, why He is disapointed, and understand if I can help in any way, it doesn't automaticlly make me think it is directed at something I have done.
The other makes my stomach knot and my knee's weak. That simple sentance can be so devistating. it can also be a good learning experience too since we learn from our mistakes.but those are very powerful words.


denika

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RE: Disappointment! - 6/27/2006 1:26:14 AM   
Kedikat


Posts: 680
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Two Phrases from your Partner be they Dominant or Submissive due to a situation between the two of you.

"I feel Disappointed!"

"You have Disappointed me!"

Do you see a difference in the phrases?  If so,what are they?



Editted for a damn typo... GRRRRRRRRRR

Inny and outy?
The first one could be more introspective. Not so much pointing blame. It could be the situation, not the others actions.
It leaves open the possibility that the disappointment may be from your own actions, expectations.

The second is placing the disappointment upon the other. This may or may not be justified. May be nothing more than the setup for a little fun punishment. Or it may be shifting the blame for ones own reasons for being disappointed. Ones own inflated expectations.

The second statement can be hurtful or fun. Can be self deceiving.

The first can be constructive.


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RE: Disappointment! - 6/27/2006 9:12:07 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Two Phrases from your Partner be they Dominant or Submissive due to a situation between the two of you.

"I feel Disappointed!"

"You have Disappointed me!"

Do you see a difference in the phrases?  If so,what are they?



Editted for a damn typo... GRRRRRRRRRR


Interesting question, although difficult for me to relate to, because I have heard neither from Master.  What I hear is, "I am disappointed in you," which for me goes a lot further than the above.  For me, that means I have done something which was less than what he expected or required or hoped of me, and thus did not meet his standard.  Therefore he is disappointed in me having fallen short of his expectations.  At that point, we explore why, and how to remedy it.

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RE: Disappointment! - 6/27/2006 11:39:20 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		Kind of playing on what Spankmepink said, also, it seems obvious to me.

The analogy is if I say, "I'm happy," it means something easy to understand.

If I say, "You made me happy," it gives credit to the person, I'm with.

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RE: Disappointment! - 6/28/2006 2:08:45 PM   
lanwolf


Posts: 78
Joined: 10/31/2005
Status: offline 		"I feel disapointed" is just that i am expressing my feelings about something. i am not attcking A/anyone just stating how i feel or am affected by something. my feelings are my issue while it is important to express my feelings with P/people in my life i am the person responsable for them and no O/one else. T/there actions may make my feelings change but again that is all under my control.
 
"Y/you have disapointed me" is more direct and can be taken as an attack against the O/one it is said to. myself hearing this makes my heart sink and i find it hard not to instantly try and defend myself from an attack, the result is usually an argument and just not worth it. Personaly i find saying it in this form is more a way to pass the blam for how i feel onto A/another party and that is wrong.

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RE: Disappointment! - 6/28/2006 2:42:06 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Do you see a difference in the phrases?  If so,what are they?



quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

"I feel Disappointed!"


This is a statement of personal responsibility and, consequently, personal empowerment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

"You have Disappointed me!"


This is the statement of a victim who would have someone else be responsible for their feelings.



Edit to take the "damn typo" edit out.

< Message edited by MizSuz -- 6/28/2006 2:43:04 PM >

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RE: Disappointment! - 6/28/2006 5:42:04 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

"I feel Disappointed!"

"You have Disappointed me!"

Do you see a difference in the phrases?  If so,what are they?


i do not like to hear "you have disappointed me" from Master. Anyone else - hey - sorry, but that's life.
 
"i feel disappointed" sometimes i just do - i don't get something i want - i feel disappointed i.e. not getting to see Master tonight - i feel disappointed, but i understand He has things to take care of. It's not the end of the world.

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