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Freaks Among Us - 6/25/2006 10:53:13 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline 		i was at Barnes and Nobles months ago, looking for a copy of Screw the Roses, send me the thorns.  They, of course did not have it in stock, so i was forced to preorder it.  When i came to pick it up, one female sales clerk peeked over the male clerk who was ringing me up and whispered, "Can i have the ISBN number, please?"  It was then when i noticed the leather collar round her neck, and it took new meaning.
 
When pondering back on this instance which just kind of struck my funny bone...i got to wondering:
 
When you meet someone on the street, in passing, how do you broach the subject?  i'm sure that this issue must be more apperent for Dominants than for submissives, but maybe not. 
 
Are you brave enough to ask if the person you just met likes to be tied up and beaten till he/she's bruised?
 
Do you hold back on "falling" for someone until you know for a fact that they can be brutal?
 
i'll be curious to hear your responses.
 
-genvieve

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/25/2006 11:19:32 PM   
phoenixrising69


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Q: When you meet someone on the street, in passing, how do you broach the subject?  i'm sure that this issue must be more apperent for Dominants than for submissives, but maybe not.  
 
A: "Nice collar. An ornamentation, fashion or a lifestyle choice?"

 
Q: Are you brave enough to ask if the person you just met likes to be tied up and beaten till he/she's bruised?
 
A: I would have to gauge body language and verbal responses to my first question.

 
Q: Do you hold back on "falling" for someone until you know for a fact that they can be brutal?
 
A: I lost my virginity to my first slave. She was an experienced sub, a stripper, and a true femme fatale. When I "fell" for her, she topped me from the bottom and I lost her. I quote from my first novel, which covers the love affair: 
 
"Wishes do come true, and true Love can be found, but sometimes they just don’t last forever. They are like the fragrant candles of a bedroom that watch two Lovers frantically wrestling together as one supreme being, only to be snuffed when the passion has ended."
 
C'est l'amour... n'est ce pas?
 

(in reply to genvieve)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 12:33:28 AM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		Hello genvieve,
If im meeting strangers on the street, im unlikely to mention anything. Its non of my business. But if you mean a colleague say that i notice is wearing a collar, id ask outright, IF i were interested in the answer only.

I did hold back from falling for someone who did not share my needs. I left searching the vanilla world, to vanilla women. I wanted to be able to cut to the chase right at the beginning. Turning peoples sexuality, is a dull dull uphill bloody struggle, or rather was, in my experience. Others may differ. I just couldnt be arsed with all the educating milarky.

I wished to only entertain a certain type of person. And bdsm was going to be a integral need for them. We would also be kink compatable. You dont get kink compatability garauntees with vanilla's. I wanted to hear " i particular enjoy xyz" not, "yeah! ill give it a go!".

But im in my 40's and time was a ticking. Dont have enough to waste these days.

(in reply to genvieve)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 2:55:21 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		I just addressed this in my journal. I have the same dilemma.

I sip my Diet Coke, adjust my pager and stroll down the hallway wondering how many of the women I pass are into D/s? I pass a really cute blonde who wears a very short skirt and start to fantasize, but stop myself before it becomes too obvious. Hard-on’s can be a plus in private, but in public they can get you called pervert. Back to this blonde…see this is the problem. How do we recognize others into the lifestyle?
  
There was a time when I was sure that the necklace of a woman was a chain collar and I approached her ready to hear about her sordid scenes.
  
“Hello, I see you are into the scene,” I said.
  
“Scene,” she asked?
  
“Yeah, BDSM,” I confidently told her and leaned closer to hear all about her. 
 
She wore very high heels and stepped toward me in them, in what I thought was an unsteady gait. Putting out my hands to steady her, I wondered why she was picking up her foot so high. As the spiked heel came stomping down on my foot, I realized she was not losing her balance. 
 
I felt pain that had me hopping on my good foot, just before she slammed that damn heel into that one, too. I fell to the floor. What else could I do? No feet. She put both hands together in what looked some type of karate stance, spun around  with one leg out and shouted like they did in the old kung fu movies. The heel penetrated my abdomen and found my aorta, puncturing it and allowing my blood to blast out where it shouldn’t be.My life slowly oozed away as I thought how hard it is to identify those into D/s. I promised myself to never be so foolish again.       

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to genvieve)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 3:54:25 AM   
zenofeller


Posts: 463
Joined: 6/10/2006
Status: offline 		well, one simple way would be to put the burden of proof on the other. see someone with a collar ? with your best frown and indignation ask "you aren't into <i>BDSM</i> are you ?

a great approach for a few reasons, firstly because it sepparates response and reaction. we get the response to our question from things completely outside the control of the victim...ahem, "other person". if they turn red and stuttery, it's one thing. if they go huh in disbelief/confusion it's another.

and then their response, it's valuable too, as an insight into their make-up. if someone blushes and denies, it's one thing. if someone blushes, steadies their feet and goes on the offensive, it's another.

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 4:38:08 AM   
peterK50


Posts: 433
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline 		I was in a Starbucks in Manhatten when I noticed an attractive young woman with both cuffs of metal handcuffs locked around one wrist. I considered it for a moment & decided to be low- key...."Attractive", I smiled pointing to the cuffs. She scalded me with a look then said "Do you know there are thousands of political prisoners in Haiti?" Learned my lesson, never approached a stranger since.

_____________________________

Religion Is About Seeking Knowledge, Not Knowing All The Answers.

(in reply to zenofeller)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 5:08:40 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		How about wearing a T-shirt that says, 'I"m into BDSM, how about you?' and seeing how many responses you get.

I often look at the people around me and wonder what deep dark secrets they have.  I mean, I look boring and ordinary, and I know what I get up to, so what else is going on behind closed doors?

Actually, I'm evolving a theory - there's no such things as vanilla.  Everyone is kinky, but some hide it better than others.

(in reply to peterK50)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 5:15:50 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

How about wearing a T-shirt that says, 'I"m into BDSM, how about you?' and seeing how many responses you get.


Try this link, i am sure one of these tee shirts will work.

http://www.cafepress.com/fetish_deluxe/1075879

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to becca333)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 5:18:01 AM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		You can always make a card board sign that say's; will spank for food.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to twicehappy)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 5:27:39 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

How about wearing a T-shirt that says, 'I"m into BDSM, how about you?' and seeing how many responses you get.


Try this link, i am sure one of these tee shirts will work.

http://www.cafepress.com/fetish_deluxe/1075879


These are great, thanks!

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 5:29:46 AM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Great post EXISTENTIALSTEEL!

You're story reinforces the truth of the story I was told.   You forget to mention how a size 10 white leather clad and 'Madonna breast pointed' Domme (with a Matron's Hat) came running up 'outing' Herself as a "Heart Surgeon" to all the onlookers as your blood spurted from your Aorta.  Is it true She temporarily plugged the hole with Her 8" stilletto?

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to peterK50)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 5:41:47 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I mention something about "safe words" a phrase that hasn't entered the general lexicon but one any scene person will recognize instantly.  Something like "gee, it is so hot today I wish I could safeword out of it".  So much slang today nobody knows what anything means and it mostly passes unnoticed.


(in reply to Driver1961)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 6:06:10 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve
When you meet someone on the street, in passing, how do you broach the subject?  i'm sure that this issue must be more apperent for Dominants than for submissives, but maybe not. 

I don't.  If I'm just passing them on the street, we might exchange knowing glances and smiles, but that's it.
quote:


Are you brave enough to ask if the person you just met likes to be tied up and beaten till he/she's bruised?

To me that's not about bravery, it's about social grace.  I'd never go up to a vanilla in a bookstore and ask them that question, so I'd never do that for someone I suspected was kinky either.

Now, if we were at a danceclub or swingers club- the context and openness is on a different level.
quote:


Do you hold back on "falling" for someone until you know for a fact that they can be brutal?

Uhhh brutal no- open to who I am, yes.
 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to genvieve)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 7:20:46 AM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I mention something about "safe words" a phrase that hasn't entered the general lexicon but one any scene person will recognize instantly.  Something like "gee, it is so hot today I wish I could safeword out of it".  So much slang today nobody knows what anything means and it mostly passes unnoticed.




That's really clever CrappyDom!  With the summer heat here in Dallas, I'm going to have to use that one for sure.  Greatness!

To the OP, great topic!  There are so many people that I meet that I would love to ask but have never figured out a good way to go about it.  Often, it's difficult enough just engaging strangers in regular conversation, much less broaching BDSM.  I sometimes will see someone dressed in a manner that suggests some BDSM connection but, as was mentioned in an earlier post, you just never know.  Maybe we could develop the BDSM equivalent of  a gang sign that could be 'flashed' at the appropriate moment???  (Thinking what a BDSM 'drive-by' might consist of, lol)  Okay, maybe not such a good idea. 


(in reply to CrappyDom)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 8:19:13 AM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Love the topic.  Reminds me of a mother who had two daughters wearing collars.  She turned to me and said they just don't know what that means.  LOL yes they did!  I just then wondered if mom knew what it meant lol but then was not going there in a professional setting where mom was not the topic. 

(in reply to joyinslavery)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 9:15:43 AM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		When approached on the street...it would more likely be Me
making some sort of nod /gesture of acknowledgement.

If it was a situation where W/we could talk I am the type of person who
just comes out and says it.Or asks it.

My vanilla friends all know about My 'lifestyle' some have come to see the dungeon out of curiousity...God I love that wide eyed look...deer in headlights for some...lmao.

I dont have a problem asking anyone if they need/want a beating...even people I have just met.

Does that make Me a freak?

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to genvieve)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 9:20:21 AM   
MasterCurios


Posts: 156
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		i have never hidden who or what i am and i will brooch the subject at whim..i feel if its not their cup of tea then they can say so and that is that....my pet is now becoming confortable with doing the same to an extent..

_____________________________

may the pain be with you

(in reply to genvieve)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 11:01:01 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

When you meet someone on the street, in passing, how do you broach the subject?  i'm sure that this issue must be more apperent for Dominants than for submissives, but maybe not.  
 
I wouldnt broach the subject with a stranger in the street in passing.  It wouldn't IMO be appropriate.  In the same way, I wouldn't walk up to someone and ask if they liked 24 last night, just because they are wearing the T-shirt.
 
quote:

Are you brave enough to ask if the person you just met likes to be tied up and beaten till he/she's bruised?

 
In the middle of the street?  No.  If your talking about someone I meet regularly, or work with - thats a different thing altogether.  But why would anyone approach a complete stranger about such a personal subject?
 
quote:

Do you hold back on "falling" for someone until you know for a fact that they can be brutal?

 
I am unsure on your usage of brutal.  But No.  If they accept who I am, and my choices, then yes.  Compatability is a major issue in any relationship.
 
A complete stranger is a completely different scenario to being interested in the choices of someone you meet occasionally/work with etc who may be wearing a collar or some other symbol you associate with BDSM or any 'lifestyle'.
 
Peace and Love
 
 

 

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to genvieve)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 11:59:02 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

When approached on the street...it would more likely be Me
making some sort of nod /gesture of acknowledgement.

If it was a situation where W/we could talk I am the type of person who
just comes out and says it.Or asks it.

My vanilla friends all know about My 'lifestyle' some have come to see the dungeon out of curiousity...God I love that wide eyed look...deer in headlights for some...lmao.

I dont have a problem asking anyone if they need/want a beating...even people I have just met.

Does that make Me a freak?


Yes. 

(in reply to MistressSassy66)
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RE: Freaks Among Us - 6/26/2006 12:09:14 PM   
justasubguy


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline 		When you meet someone on the street, in passing, how do you broach the subject?  i'm sure that this issue must be more apperent for Dominants than for submissives, but maybe not. 

If I were to meet someone on the street, I personally don't think I'd start talking about anything scene-related until I've at least gotten to know the person. Then again, I don't really meet people off the street very often, and I tend to be kind of shy, so... oh well.
 
Are you brave enough to ask if the person you just met likes to be tied up and beaten till he/she's bruised? 

In the case of people I meet online, I'm not at all shy about trying to find out what kind of kinky things they're into. After all, it's just online, not so much risk there. But with people I just met in the real world - it really depends on how the meeting goes. If we hit things off, I might start steering the conversation in that particular direction.

Do you hold back on "falling" for someone until you know for a fact that they can be brutal?

No. The girl I fell for most recently, I fell for before I knew that about her - and when we started discovering together the things we were capable of, it made things even more amazing between us. She wasn't entirely vanilla - but she hadn't really explored the kinky side of her much, if at all. So I tend to let things happen, and see where it goes. I don't know what would've happened with her if I would've held back on falling for her. It might not have been as wonderful as it was!

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
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