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single searching - 6/25/2006 1:19:55 AM

Kara

Posts: 15
Joined: 7/22/2004
Status: offline

Single still searching sub wonders how others deal with the physical and emotional frustration of finding a Dom Domme or of course the reverse if you are a Dom Domme searching for a submissive.

Feel free to feedback thanks kara

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RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 1:22:26 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

Frog-kissing. Lots of frog-kissing.

But eventually you get a prince, or at the very least a frog who's a great kisser.

(in reply to Kara)

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Post #: 2

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 1:26:46 AM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
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_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to becca333)

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Post #: 3

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 1:28:48 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
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Loki, you're a sweetie!

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

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Post #: 4

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 2:51:50 AM

MissDiandSirHugh

Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline

We understand that often it gets very frustrating Kara even to the point of feeling best to shut the gate and move to another paddock but although some find what they are looking for very fast and easily no matter Dom,Sub or Slave many others keep plodding on and learn that patience is such a great companion to have with them.
But just never give up and besides keeping an eye open for what is needed look around and learn what they can no matter what they feel is already known to them.

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HoRoo for now from Us both and enjoy all you read even if you don"t agree with us or others.
Knowledge is no Burden to Carry

(in reply to Kara)

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Post #: 5

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 3:59:24 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Frustration isn't the word I'd be using.. Bloody manic frustration may be close.. However, for every sub/slave and every Dominant of any ilk there is a person for you.... Look I went through a stage when I considered in altering the standards I set by being Gorean and thought about finding subs too.. In the end I compromised in as far as I'll happily hook up with one or more subs as play partners for BDSM polay and my training there. I will still hold to my original in that they only people collared to HIB will be slaves (experienced or inexperienced) who understand and can accept that we are a Gorean Home..... One of the problems which some folk face like I do is cliques in the local BDSM Groups who have decided that they will try to drive you out without even meeting you because of one thing or another. For me it was me identifying as Gorean for another friend it was because he has an impeccable reputation from where he came from as a Good Dom and an aclaimed record in a number of BSM areas. The local plebs were afraid that he would become the new leader of the scene..... Like me he has told then to piss off and will not have a thing to do with them..

Advise: Stay away from politics and being drawn ito personality clashes. Fly well under the radar and a good person will notice you. It just takes longer.

From a Gorean Master's perspective: "Better an empty collar than collaring the wrong person or the right person for the wrong reason!"

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MissDiandSirHugh)

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Post #: 6

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 6:12:28 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

But just think how good it will feel when the day comes when he lifts up your chin to look deep into your eyes and you both know he owns you...its worth the wait for the right one.

(in reply to IronBear)

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Post #: 7

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 6:17:00 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

Stop looking and stop worrying about it. It'll come when it comes.

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Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to CrappyDom)

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RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 7:31:39 AM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

It is VERY frustrating. But you just deal with it, just as you deal with having to wait for anything in life. Just spend your time wisely while you wait.

And don't rush into anything... sometimes the high level of frustration achieved makes you GO FOR IT when someone who appears to be what you are looking for comes along, and you don't take the time needed to inquire more closely. And then you may have an Oopsies. Be Aware, though, that the frustration of waiting and waiting may itself cause you to be less careful, and watch out for that :)

Go to munches and local play parties, make friends in the scene: male, female, Dom/me, sub... get to know people, learn from their experience, or just experience the close friendships available that are so often NOT easily found in the vanilla world :)

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---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to Kara)

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Post #: 9

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 7:40:52 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kara

Single still searching sub wonders how others deal with the physical and emotional frustration of finding a Dom Domme or of course the reverse if you are a Dom Domme searching for a submissive.

Feel free to feedback thanks kara

Hands Kara a collar length of chain and a club... "There you go. Now you are equioped to locate the Doninant of your chioce, hit them soundly on the noggin, either collar yourself and chain yourself to them before they wake up or collar them and chain them to your Dunny (not supplied for transport reasons)..... See easy wasn't it??????"

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Kara)

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Post #: 10

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 7:42:22 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

But just think how good it will feel when the day comes when he lifts up your chin to look deep into your eyes and you both know he owns you...its worth the wait for the right one.

What he said!

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to CrappyDom)

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Post #: 11

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 7:47:28 AM

Master96

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie
Stop looking and stop worrying about it. It'll come when it comes.

I agree :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333
But eventually you get a prince, or at the very least a frog who's a great kisser.

lol

Master96,

(in reply to IronBear)

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Post #: 12

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 8:09:44 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kara

Single still searching sub wonders how others deal with the physical and emotional frustration of finding a Dom Domme or of course the reverse if you are a Dom Domme searching for a submissive.

"Physical and emotional frustration should only come from work. If you see your search as work you are going about it wrong. It's may be a difficult mindset, but the process should be fun!

Safety first, but second to that during the search process the priority should be on fun. Meet in places you never have been or places you want to see again. Enjoy the company of yourself, so if he/she doesn't show you still enjoy the day.

There is one frustration that can't be addressed. It's pragmatic - opportunity. I could be wrong, but Hawkes Bay, New Zealand isn't NYC, LA, or any major BDSM 'mecca'. Addressing this frustration is pragmatic too - you have to appreciate it and accept it. Most of the time you can't do anything about it. Relocation shouldn't be the first decision you make regarding a contemplated relationship.

Good Luck!

(in reply to Kara)

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Post #: 13

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 8:46:45 AM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

Frog-kissing. Lots of frog-kissing.

But eventually you get a prince, or at the very least a frog who's a great kisser.

Just be choosy about which frogs you kiss. Warts seem to be a really big turn off with the better examples of the dominant set, after all....

(personally, I keep a supply of wart remover hidden in a drawer, in case I run across one of the truely Hideous frogs...

)

< Message edited by hizgeorgiapeach -- 6/25/2006 8:48:02 AM >

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Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

(in reply to becca333)

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Post #: 14

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 8:50:56 AM

iliv2servher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kara

Single still searching sub wonders how others deal with the physical and emotional frustration of finding a Dom Domme or of course the reverse if you are a Dom Domme searching for a submissive.

Feel free to feedback thanks kara

Kara,

I can only assume that your question is rhetorical, because no one can tell you when or even whether or not you're going to find what you are looking for. And if you expect to find the perfect person or situation, you might just as well take your entire life savings to a casino, put it all on the table, and roll the dice. Life is a gamble...relationships are a gamble. You take chances, you win, you loose, you learn. Missed opportunities happen. But everything happens for a reason.

You can't put your life on hold while you are waiting for either the prince or the frog that is a good kisser. Take steps to improve yourself. Go to school. Aspire for better employment. Become involved in local groups. Try to learn as much as you can, because if you are satisfied with being in a holding pattern throughout your life, then life will eventually pass you by. What you are seeking may be right around the corner from you, or it may never appear. No promises...no guarantees. Just try to appreciate and enjoy the ride.

I wish you good luck and good fortune.

(in reply to Kara)

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Post #: 15

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 9:05:00 AM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kara

Single still searching sub wonders how others deal with the physical and emotional frustration of finding a Dom Domme or of course the reverse if you are a Dom Domme searching for a submissive.

Feel free to feedback thanks kara

I'd refer you to the post from veryfewcan on this page:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_437849/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#437975

... and add only that as hard as it may be, submitting yourself as gracefully as possible to the inescapable vagaries of fate may be in the worst case all you can do--or in the best case wonderful practice for eventually submitting to someone worth waiting for.

(in reply to Kara)

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Post #: 16

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 9:17:47 AM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

Very, Very carefully...

becca and IB summing it up very nicely...as always..

cute pic Loki..thanks for the smile :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kara

Single still searching sub wonders how others deal with the physical and emotional frustration of finding a Dom Domme or of course the reverse if you are a Dom Domme searching for a submissive.

Feel free to feedback thanks kara

< Message edited by krikket -- 6/25/2006 9:20:08 AM >

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to Kara)

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Post #: 17

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 9:28:04 AM

LokisBrat

Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline

Patience should not equate desperation. Be careful in picking a partner, make sure there is at least some comman ground. Let's go with the old saying "haste makes waste"

LOKI

_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to krikket)

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Post #: 18

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 9:41:20 AM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

Dealing with the frustration is tedious and difficult .. every once in awhile you will become frustrated and maybe drop your guard ... DON'T do it. as others have said your gonna meet alot of wrongs before you find Master Right.

take your time ... find people you trust and friendships you can count on. If it's urges your having trouble with .. find someone you completely trust who can help you with those urges. Other then that all I can say in searching is make sure to ask alot of questions ... and make sure every thing is so right it hurts before you decide you need to meet. If your thoughts when your sleeping are of him . if a burning question of what would it be like is there ... make your moves!

as for me .. I get frustrated alot lately ... I am finding ones who meet this need . but lack on that need, or say the right things . but the second I ask to see what the chemistry is like they bail. so I don't search anymore .. I wait for ones who truely want to be with me to come along ... I tend to make them go the extra mile now to get my affections ..... maybe thats wrong .. but it's how I choose to do it.

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to LokisBrat)

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Post #: 19

RE: single searching - 6/25/2006 9:45:40 AM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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