RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me.

RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid

Message

PeonForHer -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/29/2013 5:47:36 PM)
FR Some platonic friendships just can't change. People can become very, very set in the way they see those with whom they have relationships. You could throw (romantic) grenades at them and their heads and hearts won't alter.

Level -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/29/2013 5:50:40 PM)
Unless he's fucking her while typing here, it's all "past tense"; of course it's still doable.

MasterCaneman -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/29/2013 11:59:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer FR Some platonic friendships just can't change. People can become very, very set in the way they see those with whom they have relationships. You could throw (romantic) grenades at them and their heads and hearts won't alter. So very true. Sometimes you just have to accept the fact that two people may only be meant to be friends. I have a lady friend I've had a soft spot for well over fifteen years and she knows it. Twice we've come close, but she always backed off. She's getting married, and in a way it's a relief to me. Life is never fair nor kind.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/30/2013 12:33:23 AM)
It's my opinion you missed the sub-context of her message, which is this: "I wish I could find a single guy like you that I'm attracted to." She does not find you physically attractive, which often has nothing to do with weight or age, but with simple chemistry. I have to point out you called her action 'stupid' but if I'm right (aren't I always right?) you are the obtuse one. YMMV

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/30/2013 9:07:06 AM)
quote: And my father is more than 20 years older than my stepmother. Exceptions to the rule happen just often enough for scores of wishful thinking older men out there to keep on kidding themselves. I think you're being a little ignorant here in generalizing, and insisting that everyone is wrong, or delusional. I used to think a lot like you, even though I had dated and married a man 15 years older myself. I attracted older when I was younger, and now I attract loads of guys 10-30years younger. I shut them down for years, and years. Now I'm not so closed to dating a much younger man, and let the chips fall where they may. I have dated older, though 17years has been the largest gap, and age has never been the reason we split. M P.S. I agree that chemistry is not automatic, even if you considered yourself of "right" age and weight. I also think it's unfair to judge her for her preference, given you have lived, experienced, and hopefully enjoyed your 51 years on this earth, and she has not.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/30/2013 10:08:53 AM)
That doesn't change the fact that her way of saying it was still a bit insulting. While I certainly find no fault for her not liking the age difference or even not being attracted to him, I am not willing to give her a pass on the insensitive way it was said. Far too often when men and women develop friendships, one or both may stop thinking of the other as the opposite sex and just as their "sexless" friend. That's when insensitive things get said. They aren't meant to hurt the other person, but because the concept of attraction is lost, things like this are said without thinking it might hurt the other person's feelings.

sexyred1 -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/30/2013 10:17:46 AM)
Unfortunately, this happens alot. I have known many men who were intellectually and emotionally right for me, treated me well, we were good friends, but I could not get past the lack of chemistry; which can be indefinable. I dated someone a few years ago (trying to meet someone to replace my current ex) who was perfect in every way, except I had no physical chemistry with. Believe me, I tried. He asked me to marry him and he did not understand or refused to understand the chemistry had to be there. So, it is not really stupid to tell someone you wished you could be with someone LIKE them; what she should have said was that of course, we are just friends and I cannot get past that part. No one wishes to insult anyone, I would hope.

Phoenixpower -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/30/2013 10:36:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: deliriuminabox quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana How much younger is she than you? The age difference might simply be too big. Sorry, it's not just a number. It is highly unlikely that she is totally into you personality-wise, but she won't date you on account of your weight. Most women just aren't like that. If she is like that, then you shouldn't be into her. She just turned 32, I am 51 I'm close to her age and I wouldn't date a man that much older than me either--Regardless of how fit, skinny, rich, etc he happened to be--Age really isn't just a number, no matter how many men from my father's generation try to tell me otherwise. I wouldn't take it personally if I were you. Well, I am 35 and my ex turns 49 this year....so not far off to your example Jeff.... as it has been mentioned before you won't know unless you find out and it could be that she has been flustered... In the past I felt a lot for a guy who is now somewhere between 55 and 60, so whilst age does matter for some, for others it does not matter much... Though I always expressed my wish for my own offspring one day and that ticked off many guys pretty soon.... My current partner is just 2 years older and someone being that close to me agewise is a true exception to my dating past...

angelikaJ -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/30/2013 10:45:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Unfortunately, this happens alot. I have known many men who were intellectually and emotionally right for me, treated me well, we were good friends, but I could not get past the lack of chemistry; which can be indefinable. I dated someone a few years ago (trying to meet someone to replace my current ex) who was perfect in every way, except I had no physical chemistry with. Believe me, I tried. He asked me to marry him and he did not understand or refused to understand the chemistry had to be there. So, it is not really stupid to tell someone you wished you could be with someone LIKE them; what she should have said was that of course, we are just friends and I cannot get past that part. No one wishes to insult anyone, I would hope. I had that happen to me on both sides. A male friend was head-over-heels and had been for 10+ years. I really wanted to feel that way about him, and it saddened me that I just did not, for whatever reason. I broke off a relationship with someone I had been with for 9 years because I realised he was not in love with me and we both deserved more. He then fell hard for the next 3 women he dated; finally marrying the 3rd. After the second one crumbled, we talked and he said he wished it had been me, but that I just did not fit his "template".

LafayetteLady -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/30/2013 11:18:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Unfortunately, this happens alot. I have known many men who were intellectually and emotionally right for me, treated me well, we were good friends, but I could not get past the lack of chemistry; which can be indefinable. I dated someone a few years ago (trying to meet someone to replace my current ex) who was perfect in every way, except I had no physical chemistry with. Believe me, I tried. He asked me to marry him and he did not understand or refused to understand the chemistry had to be there. So, it is not really stupid to tell someone you wished you could be with someone LIKE them; what she should have said was that of course, we are just friends and I cannot get past that part. No one wishes to insult anyone, I would hope. I agree totally. I have a friend who is just so sweet and kind and had an enormous crush on me. There was simply no physical attraction for me at all. We dated for a short time (my thinking maybe I would start to feel different, which was silly), and went back to being friends because the chemistry didn't exist. It's all in how something is said. As you say, saying even that the friendship was too valuable to risk would have been better than what she said, although I don't believe what she said had any malicious intent.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/30/2013 5:02:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana How much younger is she than you? The age difference might simply be too big. Sorry, it's not just a number. It is highly unlikely that she is totally into you personality-wise, but she won't date you on account of your weight. Most women just aren't like that. If she is like that, then you shouldn't be into her. She just turned 32, I am 51 There's your answer. Newp....done all the time. Keep telling yourself that[:D] Did it. The past tense is key there. My life is past tense, your life is past tense....EVERY life is past tense, we're ALL living on yesterday....the stop sign I ran through last Thursday is...yesterday. Life is fantastic....so are the people that have been a major and significant part of my life. Some have been younger. Some have been older. Sue me.

TheHeretic -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/30/2013 6:18:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 I am 51 You're only 51? Jesus, no wonder she's not interested. You look like hell. [8\|]

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/30/2013 7:12:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheHeretic quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 I am 51 You're only 51? Jesus, no wonder she's not interested. You look like hell. [8\|] You haven't seen me in heels.

TheHeretic -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/30/2013 7:13:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie You haven't seen me in heels. And let's keep it that way, shall we?

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Today, a female friend of mine said something totally stupid to me. (4/30/2013 10:59:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheHeretic quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie You haven't seen me in heels. And let's keep it that way, shall we? There is that.

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125