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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/8/2013 12:06:33 PM

LeatherBentOne51

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

quote:

ORIGINAL: iamalive888

I feel most submissive men want to say they want to lose control and be taken advantage of, but they don't really want this. They want to feel like they are submitting. It's evidenced by all the profiles that say I want to do this that and the other thing. Wouldn't a woman dictate exactly what they do? Shouldn't their profile read this is what I will not do at all, everything else is up to the Mistress? That seems to me to be the proper way to go about serving.

Am I the only one that thinks a lot of these guys just want the fantasy but none of the reality?

I find this post very interesting considering how specific your profile is about just how you want to "serve."

I see you noticed this too.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/8/2013 2:41:54 PM

UnholyBear

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iamalive888

Other subs profiles read like a sad story. I'm pathetic. I'm worthless. I want you to take naked pictures. I want you to do this. I want you to do that. I want I want I want. With mine it's hey these are some things I like to do for a girl, this is what I'm not looking for, lets chat and see where it goes. Yes there are some things I look for if it were to work. Sorry, just not into the slave lifestyle.

If this is the case, then why are you so concerned about what other people have written in their profiles? Submission manifests in many different forms and not always in a way which you feel it should.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/8/2013 2:44:58 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iamalive888
Other subs profiles read like a sad story. I'm pathetic. I'm worthless. I want you to take naked pictures. I want you to do this. I want you to do that. I want I want I want. With mine it's hey these are some things I like to do for a girl, this is what I'm not looking for, lets chat and see where it goes. Yes there are some things I look for if it were to work. Sorry, just not into the slave lifestyle.

Actually, what's sad is that you equate that with the slave lifestyle.

You're looking at profiles of people who are not in D/s relationships as the definition of how a D/s relationship works. That's like looking for Algebra answers on the papers of those that received a failing grade.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/8/2013 4:29:28 PM

seekingreality

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iamalive888

It's like my view on Christianity. Are you a real Christian if you accept all information from the Bible as true with no changes. Or do you modify it to fit your needs. Is there a certain one that is right? I guess that's in the believer.

People have been modifying the Bible to fit their needs, figuratively and literally, since before the core material that was use to create the Bible was put into the form we now recognize as the Bible. Heck, if you know anything about the history of the Bible, it is a case study in modifying information to fit an agenda.

And that's the issue with using the adjectives "true" and "real." It's hubris to assume that what's "true" or "real" for you should be the standard for everyone else.

There is no true, false, right, wrong, real.. There is only what someone likes and want. As long as they are honest about that, then it's just a matter of finding a partner whose needs and desires match them.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/8/2013 5:03:47 PM

HarryVanWinkle

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quote:

Oh knoes! Some random woman picked apart my profile. What will I do! I am clearly establishing I am not looking for any sex, just a situation where the female can do what she pleases. Almost like a friendly gay best friend of sorts. I prefer BBW girls. I'm also establishing that I'm not buying Gucci or Prada shit.

Actually, some random guy did first. You're clearly establishing that you want a situation with a dominant woman on precisely your terms, then starting this thread to disparage submissive men who do exactly that?

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/8/2013 8:13:53 PM

Baroana

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The OP has stated in this thread that he is not a submissive. He has said that he is more of a fetishist and a switch. That's all well and good, but in that case I take issue with the OP's profile. He lists himself as submissive there. It also appears, based on this thread, that he is not seeking any sort of serious relationship. He really should be more clear about that in his profile.

My

on the sort of thing a Twue Submissive should say in his profile to show that he's not a "do-me." This example is geared towards the TPE lifestyle, so disregard if you're not into that:

"I have the desire to serve a dominant partner. Once I find the right person, I would like us to have a relationship where I do pretty much whatever she orders me to do. I realize that my personal fantasies are not paramount. However, you should know that my biggest turn-ons are __, __, and __. It would be nice if my dominant could incorporate these activities on occasion, though my greatest pleasure would come from pleasing her in whatever ways she wants me to. Finally, please note that my hard limits are __, __, and __."

< Message edited by Baroana -- 4/8/2013 8:14:39 PM >

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/9/2013 1:23:01 AM

zpenguin

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Well said Baroana

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/9/2013 6:12:12 AM

Baroana

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Oh and one more thing....

OP, are you in a relationship? Your profile says that you are a stay at home dad, but that is a bit ambiguous when it comes to the question of whether you are single.

If you are not single, then shame on you for failing to make that crystal clear in your profile. Moreover, your search for someone on the side to "cuckold" you kinda, well.... I don't think that word means what you think it means.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/9/2013 8:33:28 AM

iamalive888

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I am a stay at home dad due to being unemployed. I have been starting a business so she spends a lot of time with me since my ex works overnights and a lot of hours.

Yes, cuckold was probably the wrong word to use. It's hard to figure out how to phrase it properly. I'm not perfect. God forbid right? It's more of a close friendship where the female uses her sexuality to dictate my actions. I had it somewhat with another girl by chance and it was very fun.

As for the submissive thing, it's hard to decide what I am. I'm not a Dom for sure. I'm not a slave. I have submissive tendencies but I'm not a full time sub. That would leave switch. I guess that could pertain but wouldn't switch show that I am Dom as well as submissive? I'm not Dom much at all so even that would be off.

Yet again, picking apart my profile instead of understanding the question. I'm not putting other submissives on blast. I'm describing what I see. It's an open question. But instead it's become a cliquey flame fest.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/9/2013 8:44:34 AM

submandibular

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We're all allowed preferences, this is after not real slavery. People have choices with whom they want to engage with and so don't feel bad about desiring something and not desiring something. Also BDSM is so grey, we can find dictionary definitions for anything but reality is often somewhat different.

I for one hope you find what you are looking for, we all deserve that.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/9/2013 1:43:22 PM

ClassAct2006

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It is up to male submissives what they put on profiles. It tends to be best for most people to be honest about what they need so they do not waste the time of others.

I never want to tell a man what to do in a relationship as I'm submissive and men who are not really dominant in the way I need who have no views on what they want their sub to do (and usually have just enjoyed kinky sex with a few sub girl friends before and think that makes them dominant) then ask me (usually on a vanilla site) what I need and want. The question confuses me. Either they are wanting to masturbate to my answers and that does not make me want them or else they have no idea what they require. If I look at D/s relationships I have had (the only type I have ever had as I felt sub from age 5 years) they aren't the same. They are what that man whom I wanted wanted as he was in charge. I certainly like men who discuss things and I think it can help to know if there is a danger area - sub with a phobia or whatever (I will not drink alcohol for example) so good communication over those things is wise but I do not want to hand a man a list of 20 things he must do to me and then he obeys me and does them. That's not sexy at all for me.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/9/2013 2:10:19 PM

nek0s

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Who cares how others define what a sub is or if they really are a sub ? What i view as a submissive some one else may look at as a person who just likes kinky sex. Others may look at that same person and see a true sub. Don't worry about what a sub is or is not. Look at who the person is and how their fantasies and desires mesh with your own, but that's just my opinion.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/9/2013 2:11:29 PM

wittynamehere

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This thread is what happens when people are too concerned with labeling things.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/9/2013 3:05:38 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iamalive888

I'm not a Dom for sure. I'm not a slave. I have submissive tendencies but I'm not a full time sub. That would leave switch.

.. or valet, butler, man-servant, groom, bottom, field hand, Major Domo, secretary, concierge.. on & on & on .. the world is full of words so use the ones which best symbolize what's in your heart and you'll do fine.

The label is only the start of the conversation in any event.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/9/2013 8:42:46 PM

zpenguin

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this thread is getting too labely. Back to the south pole for this penguin. Man, just stop questioning roles, titles, labels, it takes the fun out of what is SUPPOSED to be very erotic, fun, kinky, sexual, and a lifestyle for some. Just go with flow. You'll find it to much more rewarding.

< Message edited by zpenguin -- 4/9/2013 8:43:08 PM >

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/9/2013 11:29:29 PM

seekingreality

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iamalive888

I am a stay at home dad due to being unemployed. I have been starting a business so she spends a lot of time with me since my ex works overnights and a lot of hours.

Yes, cuckold was probably the wrong word to use. It's hard to figure out how to phrase it properly. I'm not perfect. God forbid right? It's more of a close friendship where the female uses her sexuality to dictate my actions. I had it somewhat with another girl by chance and it was very fun.

As for the submissive thing, it's hard to decide what I am. I'm not a Dom for sure. I'm not a slave. I have submissive tendencies but I'm not a full time sub. That would leave switch. I guess that could pertain but wouldn't switch show that I am Dom as well as submissive? I'm not Dom much at all so even that would be off.

Yet again, picking apart my profile instead of understanding the question. I'm not putting other submissives on blast. I'm describing what I see. It's an open question. But instead it's become a cliquey flame fest.

Personally, I think you are too concerned with trying to label yourself and others. All you need to do is say, "I like X, Y, and Z," and I dislike "A, B, C." And then you find someone with compatible needs/likes/desires. Do that, and you won't have to worry about what label you give each other. Because, frankly, the harder you need to work to figure out your "label," the more likely the label will be BS.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/10/2013 4:19:54 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iamalive888

I feel most submissive men want to say they want to lose control and be taken advantage of, but they don't really want this. They want to feel like they are submitting. It's evidenced by all the profiles that say I want to do this that and the other thing. Wouldn't a woman dictate exactly what they do? Shouldn't their profile read this is what I will not do at all, everything else is up to the Mistress? That seems to me to be the proper way to go about serving.

Am I the only one that thinks a lot of these guys just want the fantasy but none of the reality?

Sounds like you are describing your own profile. But at least you give her the option of doing what she wants to the other guy.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/10/2013 6:04:59 AM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: iamalive888

I'm not a Dom for sure. I'm not a slave. I have submissive tendencies but I'm not a full time sub. That would leave switch.

.. or valet, butler, man-servant, groom, bottom, field hand, Major Domo, secretary, concierge.. on & on & on .. the world is full of words so use the ones which best symbolize what's in your heart and you'll do fine.

The label is only the start of the conversation in any event.

Major Domo, now there's a phrase not heard much

OP, take some of what you've used to describe yourself here, and maybe put it in your profile.

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/10/2013 7:11:29 AM

BlkTallFullfig

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I kept wanting to put in my .02, but didn't get around to this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: iamalive888
I feel most submissive men want to say they want to lose control and be taken advantage of

I not only feel it, but hear about it on a daily basis. The want someone to help them develop this part of themselves, or someone to help expand their limits. Basically they want someone to do them, to their specifications, than maybe could you try a little more of this or that Ma'am?! I consider that a very indecent proposal, because basically, I'm being sex, without the inconveniences of courtship/relationship building. Turns me on like no other statements in my inbox.

quote:

but they don't really want this. They want to feel like they are submitting.

Yes, it's true. They want to go to free domme's r us, order their free kink/sex, and leave.

quote:

It's evidenced by all the profiles that say I want to do this that and the other thing. Wouldn't a woman dictate exactly what they do? Shouldn't their profile read this is what I will not do at all, everything else is up to the Mistress? That seems to me to be the proper way to go about serving.

I don't mind at all knowing what someone wants/likes, but whenever I see a long list, I tend to skip to the next... Like you, I would like a profile with a few kinks, but more general interest, stating "with the exception of these things," I am open and willing to be trained, and molded to my Ms's desire.

quote:

Am I the only one that thinks a lot of these guys just want the fantasy but none of the reality?

No you most certainly are not. M

P.S. Just read your profile, and it started a little convoluted, so I quickly moved along. I have a question: What Is a No Sex Cuckold?!

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 4/10/2013 7:15:58 AM >

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RE: Are Subs really Subs? - 4/16/2013 7:59:48 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iamalive888

I feel most submissive men want to say they want to lose control and be taken advantage of, but they don't really want this. They want to feel like they are submitting. It's evidenced by all the profiles that say I want to do this that and the other thing. Wouldn't a woman dictate exactly what they do? Shouldn't their profile read this is what I will not do at all, everything else is up to the Mistress? That seems to me to be the proper way to go about serving.

Am I the only one that thinks a lot of these guys just want the fantasy but none of the reality?

Listen; not all (male) subs are the same.

Some want to be "worms". Some fantasize about being "chattel".

Some wish they were furniture, while others see themselves as human ATM's (that one I still don't get...but I've spoken to several male subs that absolutely get a THRILL tossing money at chics they'll never meet).

Men have fucked up shit in their hayuds....it comes from this fabulous little chemical called testosterone which frankly, can make a man into a fucking pop up toaster strudel if he wants something bad enough.

How the hell wimmens can deal with their own fantasies and not be willing to drive a small Chevy into a pizza store to achieve their goals is literally beside me but, they can and far too often...we (males) can't.

So, there ya have it.

I, on the other hand am indeed a sub and...I want what I fucking want, when I fucking want it.

(And for those that were considering me prior to my above outburst....I didn't mean a word of it and you are the only woman I ever truly loved...{seriously}....for the rest of you....that's what I fucking want).

(That's another thing men can do....lie....when we're horny enough....the answer to the question "would you like to buy me a 12 billion dollar car?" is always "why sure I would!").

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