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freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Soooo....my Mom is bat shit..... (3/16/2013 9:07:58 AM)
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My mum was very radical for the day - not bat-shit crazy, but very radical. Who thinks Dr Who was the first Time Lord?? Forget it! My mum was the one that gave them the ideas! lol. Many times as a kid, and an adult, I wondered how she managed to do what she did. As a kid, I'd be doing something naughty in the garden after checking that she was nowhere in sight. A few seconds later and I'd have her slipper whizz past my ear - missing me by a mere millimetre! I'd turn around and she'd be standing there, arms folded, tapping her foot, saying one single word.... "And??"!! You'd be frozen, just like a deer or rabbit caught in headlights. "Where's my slipper?" she'd ask... So you would meekly reach over and hand over the slipper. You knew not to argue with her... so you volunteer to go to your room as fast as your little legs could carry you. And she'd be standing at the top of the stairs.... Arms folded, slipper in hand, foot tapping, scowling at you. WTF?? How did she get there soooo fast?? I used to own the house next to hers when I was older. I'd let off some fireworks in my garden. She'd be round to my place faster than I could blink and be battering me with her broom and screaming something about frightening her cat (which was fast asleep on her sofa). And before I could turn around and go inside, she'd have put her broom away, got into my house, and was sitting on my sofa demending to know where her cuppa was! FFS! I was barely two steps from my own back door when I was being battered by her broom!!! How the fuck did she get into my house without me seeing her?? Just two examples of many many incidents throughout my life. And she was barely 4ft10" tall! Sadly, she passed away some 15 years ago through a stroke and diabetic complications [:(] But.... I have many good and fond memories of her these days and there are times that I really miss her wisdom.
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