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RE: Can I just say... - 6/24/2006 10:13:45 AM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear LTRsubNW, Ladies and Gentlemen;

What you wrote is so very true. Unfortunately, it is a people problem just as much as it is a D/s role problem.

No matter the sex, the role, the race or kink--People are played and people get hurt. People get stung more than they are embraced.
If it was an rare occassion, we would all not be so jumpy, guarded, wary, leary and or overly defensive/offensive. So, it is easy to take the position that everybody who approaches is a gamer, liar, etc., than to keep an open mind and give a person a chance.

I can say for myself only, I just want to find a slave and or slaves to create my family with. I just want to love as a loving dominant would wish to love (not a sexual relationship per se)--without being hurt. I want to grow old loving somebody who is my slave/slaves.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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Post #: 21

RE: Can I just say... - 6/24/2006 1:06:24 PM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

Holy cow -- this sounds like something I could have said, when trying to help out a submissive individual who either just ended a relationship, or is still searching for the right relationship!!!

How wonderful to be able to see this -- it makes such sense, but so many don't see all the opportunities available around them.

Thank you,

ZWD

quote:

ORIGINAL: Veryfewcan

You have come up with some interesting thoughts.

Here is a thought for you. Consider the fact that you really don't need a Domme. You can act out with your submissive nature in the way you conduct yourself; from day to day. Help people, do nice things for others, even those you don't know. It is a good feeling and a great way to fulfill your need to serve.
A lot of people don't realize and especially natural subs, that we don't have to be in a lifestyle relationship. Our daily actions fulfill a lot of our needs to serve.
I do have a profile here, but it is just on the off chance that I may actually meet someone I click with; in all aspects. I really don't need a Domme. I don't really search for one. I never write any on this site. However, I do get alot of Dommes write me, because of my profile. I reply to them and I have made alot of nice friendships.
Is there a Domme out there for me; probably; but life goes on.
My advice, embrace what you are, be proud of what you are and use your submission to help others.
Good Luck.

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Post #: 22

RE: Can I just say... - 6/24/2006 1:56:20 PM

iliv2servher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear LTRsubNW, Ladies and Gentlemen;

What you wrote is so very true. Unfortunately, it is a people problem just as much as it is a D/s role problem.

No truer words were spoken.

I think that if you were to take a cross section of the world in general, you would see that the number of idiots drastically outnumber all of the rest. And on that note, there are probably the same ratio of flakey dommes to flakey subs as well. They just do things differently. Instead of writing suxually suggestive and inappropriate letters of introduction, they simply do not answer at all. Either way, it's a slap in the face.

The reason why I am here in the Forum, rather than perusing the profiles, is that I find a larger number of intelligent people who are willing to engage others in the discussion of issues pertinent to what it is that we do. And I think that, for the most part, those who particpate here are less likely to hide behind a facade.

CollarMe.com is what it is -- just a place to talk, to socialize, and to exchange ideas. It is by no means that same as getting involved with others face-to-face. I do not believe that a keyboard and monitor was ever meant to replace real life, real time socialization. We are a society of human beings who require physical contact with other humans. And without it, we are never going to gain the necessary tools required to effectively interact with others in this group or any other group.

Don't misunderstand me, the Internet is a great tool. Just imagine what it was like back in the late 1960s. There was little or no information on the subject, no social groups that I knew of (and I lived in one of the largest cities in the US). And if you wanted to make contact with someone in this venue, you had to rely on what few ads were placed in alternative newspapers, correspondence magazines (which were little more than mimeographed sheets of paper contaning personals consisting of one paragraph, code numbers, post office box addresses and no photos). I remember sitting for hours while I banged out personal letters on a typwriter, then sending each of them off with a one-dollar forwarding fee. Sure, the ads were probably mostly fake, but that's all we had then.

However, and having said that, It's really no different today. It's just easier. And it's also easier to become discouraged. Instead of having to wait for your rejection, you can now recieve it right in the comfort of your own home, and in an instant. Fast food...fast rejection. Ain't technology great?

-iliv2

< Message edited by iliv2servher -- 6/24/2006 1:58:26 PM >

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Post #: 23

RE: Can I just say... - 6/24/2006 2:15:34 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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Three thoughts for the original poster:

First, your post comes maybe a little closer than necessary to mirroring the behavior it complains about. Go easy.

Secondly: Almost everyone here, to a point nine, nine, nine degree or further, is someone you won't end up with in a relationship of any sort, never mind THAT relationship. That isn't a prediction or any sort of criticism of anyone. It is what you might call an actuarial fact.

Since it is a sort of needle in a haystack situation for those who are here to find a partner, here's my advice:

Be grateful, even happy, every time someone reveals in herself the sort of narrow-mindedness you cite. They aren't terribly reasonable people, Obviously. They lack sensitivity and maybe most importantly they lack imagination. It would take a hard-core masochistic humiliation freak to want to be associated with a domme like that. Consider that had they not been so blatant with their self-exposure you might have wasted an hour or a day finding out what wet little shits they are. Move on with a small sense of accomplishment--and yeah, some days maybe a taste of chagrin but what the fuck, right?

Finally, I had never heard of the poster called veryfewcan until I read his reply here. You might try to cultivate a friendship with him. It is so refreshing to see someone get at the potential richness of submission, to reveal it contextualized so deeply and well in the human experience.

We're presented with impoverished views of BDSM often enough.

Anyway there will be a new name in my Favorite Users list in a minute or two. Thanks, veryfewcan.

And good luck to the original poster.

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Post #: 24

RE: Can I just say... - 6/24/2006 3:12:26 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

It isn't true that because we have an opinion (sometimes a strong one) that we aren't sub. I can't count how many times I've been accused of being Dom solely because my opinion differs.

This has never been a problem for me. In fact I tend to not get along with people who lack thoughts/opinions on different subjects.
Looks are absolutely boring/useless to me in the absense of a strong mind and kind heart attached. Keep in mind though that a lot of people who say I have an opinion are simply trying to shove theirs down my throat as opposed to respectfully/without excessive sarcasm/condescension trying to convey their ideas... I simply reject anyone shoving anything down without my permission/consent.

quote:

I have an opinion. (Actually, I have several, in case anyone was wondering...it's what's made me successful in life...no doubt it's what's made many others successful as well).

Great, than continue to work with that, and realize that you would not do well with someone who is threatened by your working brain cells.

quote:

So many subs are looking for their best friends...and they get dropped with not much more than a "see ya" because of some inocuous comment in their profile that puts them into an abyss that has a never ending conclusion...

Would you care to elaborate? What comment are you referring to exactly? Yah sending hints to some domina? LOL As for finding best friend, I don't know how I feel. I have pretty high standards for whom I would call a friend, and emailing anonymously on the net with folks doesn't cut it in my friendships. The only people I call friends are people I know enough about and have either met/hope to meet in the near future.

I'm not seeking friendships online, and if upon communicating with you in writing, seeing your picture/you in person I don't get the desire to "do you," than we likely aren't going to be more than distant aquaintances, because I have too many people in my life already I call friends, and don't invest enough time with.

I do my very best not to treat others harshly unless/until they do something to deserve it. I respond to every email unless it is obviously seeking jerkoff material, disrespectful to me, or is a repeat cut and paste from a repeat jerkoff. M

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Post #: 25

RE: Can I just say... - 6/24/2006 4:13:05 PM

cheshireboy

Posts: 217
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline

one of the greatest things i submissive or mayhaps anyone can learn is the act of patience...the want of control yes is great, but rather wait 28 years for the perfect meal than go and eat fast food and be found wanting, or find that meal wanting as well. owned or unowned, i am, and will always be, who i am.

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Post #: 26

RE: Can I just say... - 6/24/2006 5:34:39 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

OMG.

I am SOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad I read the boards today.

Now THAT's a profile pic!

Yum! Positively makes Me *shivverrrr*

peterK50, write to Me.

TexasMaam

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Post #: 27

RE: Can I just say... - 6/25/2006 5:19:01 AM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LokisBrat

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tamerofwild1s

Dignity and pride will always prevail over accusations (sorry about the spelling, my editing sub is still asleep). Head up, shoulders back, and walk away with your pride.

LOKI

Couldn't have said it better :)

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Post #: 28

RE: Can I just say... - 6/25/2006 7:40:35 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: peterK50

As one Mistress put it "Submissive Males Are A Dime-A-Dozen". That seems to be the prevailing attitude.

I've always seen it differently, despite that prevailing attitude. There are droves of males who play the part, but it is rare to find the obedient true believer.

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Post #: 29

RE: Can I just say... - 6/25/2006 7:42:41 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: peterK50

As one Mistress put it "Submissive Males Are A Dime-A-Dozen". That seems to be the prevailing attitude.

Yes, submissive males are, but good submissive males are worth their weight in gold----one just needs to realize We have to sift through a lot of fools to find the gold, so a tad pf patience.

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Post #: 30

RE: Can I just say... - 6/25/2006 7:54:26 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Hathor,

I so completely agree. Crappy male subs are a dime a dozen, I think if I was going to choose to be something that would make finding a partner easy, it would be being a male submissive, not an average one of which there are throngs, but a truly outstanding one.

I could write a profile for a male sub that would get a thousand emails in a couple of days. Speak of your strengths, your gifts, the work you have done to make yourself a better man and a better submissive would be enough to give some older Dommes heart attacks. Many will look at Peter's photo and just see a naked guy genuflecting, but as someone who has seen genuflecting, his positioning is perfect, the symmetry clear, there is not only a genuineness to the picture but a sincerity to it. I think it is because we cannot see his face, that it is clear what he is offering is his submission, not his person which is tied to his face.

Read some of Mistress Abernathy's books on being a slave, there are excellent ideas in there. Join and work hard to support your local BDSM group, give of yourself and someone will spot the treasure that is you.

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Post #: 31