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Rituals - 1/29/2013 6:01:12 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline 		A post on the gorean forum regarding routines and a conversation with my partner regarding routines got me thinking.

I am posting this on off topic because I am not sure if it's a BDSM question or discussion or just a general life discussion or a combination of the two.

As a mother of an autistic UM, I have always had routines but the reality is they are not just for him. They are also for me. My routines give me a sense of security and self - discipline. I find structure rewarding. For me structure also gives me a sense of stability when life gets chaotic or stressful.

My relationships have always had routines, regardless of the roles in those relationships. I can not deal with a relationship that does not have some sort of routines or that do not respect routines.

Some of my routines:

• I am up at 6 am every day.

• Phone call from 6 am – 7:30 am every day these conversations jump start my day and get me going mentally. He is the 1st person I speak to every day.

• Work out 7:30 -7:45 every day, even though we don’t work out together physically we work out at the same time so it feels like we are working out together and doing it together.

• 8 am smoothie and meals at 11, 2, and 6

• I recently from eating mostly raw fruits and veggies to a high protein diet and I am struggling with the change because it seems so foreign to me.

• When I leave the house, I let him know. When I come home I let him know.

• My personal video slave, emails me when he is available to talk and to session at the beginning of his week. This allows me to juggle 3 schedules so that it works for everyone.

• I tell him good night every night. He is the last person I speak to every day.

• I have set days that I do laundry (Saturday and Sunday) and I have certain chores that I do on certain days.



What are some rituals that you have within your everyday life?

How does it affect you if those rituals are disrupted?

Are your rituals relationship based or simply part of who you are?


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RE: Rituals - 1/29/2013 6:28:58 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		I live in a perpetual state of chaos, and I rather like it. The only thing im reasonably certain of is Chem II class, and death. Everything else is up for grabs. Even my work schedule is PRN- I only go in when I am needed, (or when I want).

I was military for a bit, and it took a LOT of sweat and tears to try and get used to the rigid scheduling. I don't do well with that sort of thing.

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 1/29/2013 6:31:15 PM >

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RE: Rituals - 1/29/2013 6:40:13 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		My night shirt has to be a certain way when I go to bed at night.

There is at least 2 books on the bed. No nightstand.

The fan has to be on 2 for the white noise effect.

Bedtime is 10 o'clock, no exceptions.

Runescape comes on about 6 o'clock, just like Who wants to be a Millionaire. 6:30 is time for Wheel of Fortune.

4 o'clock is devoted to Inside Edition, Jeopardy, local and national news.

Morning depends on how I feel. If I am hurting, I take a tramadol and a seat. If not, I troll the net.

Decide what to have for dinner.

I go see my caseworker every other month. Same with the nurse and NP.

HGTV is usually on in the background.

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RE: Rituals - 1/29/2013 6:46:24 PM   
EsotericLady


Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline 		I understand that rituals are needed in certain circumstances and for certain individuals. However, I would become a raving lunatic if I had to structure my life on an hourly basis.

Of course there are certain responsibilities that I must accomplish by a certain date, or within a certain time of day. But my life is quite flexible most of the time.

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RE: Rituals - 1/29/2013 6:55:47 PM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
~ FR ~

It might bear considering the difference between a routine and a ritual. A routine offer structure, but a ritual is embedded with meaning.

K.

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RE: Rituals - 1/29/2013 7:03:44 PM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		I'm a person that works best without schedules and rituals. Get done what needs to get done, when it needs to get done (usually the last minute possible).
But, since having kids, I've realized they work best on schedules. Wake, homework, dinner, baths, bed at the same time each day. Otherwise, it's crankiness and fights (moreso than usual). So, I'm in chaos trying to keep to a schedule to keep them from going into chaos. Its better me than them.
Whenever I can, and for all other purposes, I go back to my regular mode.

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RE: Rituals - 1/29/2013 7:09:31 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata


~ FR ~

It might bear considering the difference between a routine and a ritual. A routine offer structure, but a ritual is embedded with meaning.

K.


To ME the major difference between routine and ritual is the meaning that I attach to it. I think both can / do have meaning and function.



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RE: Rituals - 1/29/2013 7:26:00 PM   
Switcheroo1983


Posts: 238
Joined: 1/29/2013
Status: offline 		I am the father of twin daughters and do my damnedest to follow a schedule when they are with me (shared custody), but alas my innate chaotic nature usually takes over and the day becomes a fun free-for-all.

Ritual wise, I am a smoker (cigs). I HAVE to lighly burn the filter of my cigs before smoking them. I have no idea why. Doesn't affect the flavor in any way regardless, but I have to do it.

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RE: Rituals - 1/29/2013 9:40:06 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata


~ FR ~

It might bear considering the difference between a routine and a ritual. A routine offer structure, but a ritual is embedded with meaning.

K.

Some can be both...like my morning coffee.

I do have some routines, but I don't get knocked off kilter if circumstances prevent them.

When rituals are interrupted, it can throw me a bit.

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RE: Rituals - 1/30/2013 4:27:43 AM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		Oh, I forgot....my drinking habit. One glass of juice, one glass of green tea with honey extract and then water for the rest of the day.

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Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

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RE: Rituals - 1/30/2013 4:50:17 AM   
ivone1


Posts: 111
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		im sure some people like having rituals in their life but not me... i know what i have to do and will do it when im up to it ....

the only thing that i do constintly is kiss Master good morning and good nite ... other than that i just go about my daily chores or whatever else is on
my agenda....

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RE: Rituals - 1/30/2013 8:29:44 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		my weeks are routine in general based around work and my animals. i get up, get ready, let the dogs out and do whatever else i have to do before seeing to the horse, and going to work. i plan ahead for my days of the forthcoming week. if those days get twisted out of shape by other people it affects me in an ocd way. i have routines for alot of things i do really.

as for rituals; they have much more meaning to me. ritual is something i put personal significance on regarding certain people i have lost, or for things. for instance; i am not religeous at all, but i do like churches. rather than seeing them as specific places to worship a certain god i see them as a place of meaning and thought. if available i will light a candle everytime for the people i have lost, and also for sending special thoughts for someone. this again has nothing to do with the 'God' that the church was built for. recently DrG went away and was near a Cathedral so i asked him if he'd light a candle for me should he visit it. i'm very greatful to him that he did.

i do have others, but they are quite obscure, or attached to what someone else does.

needles

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RE: Rituals - 1/30/2013 10:15:54 AM   
ashjor911


Posts: 7793
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: balcony, having a Smoke
Status: offline 		routine :
i have to wash up before bed.

Ritual: it must be very very cold water when i wash my feet ... dont know why

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RE: Rituals - 1/30/2013 4:19:58 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		You'd think as a protocol person that I would be up to the eyeball in routines, but I'm not. Rituals, on the other hand, we have quite a few.

To Me, a ritual is something that you share with another person that has a meaning for both of you. A person can have something that is just theirs, like a beauty ritual, but when I think of the term in the kink context, I associate it with two (or more) parts where each person participates. The morning phone call that you describe, I would definitely see as a ritual.

A few of ours..........

Nightly ritual, clip asks permission to go to bed, kneels in front of Me, and I kiss him on the forehead.

Before play, he kneels in front of Me to have his cuffs put on. (Restraints, YAY!)

Always a kiss before one of us leaves the house.






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RE: Rituals - 1/30/2013 4:26:19 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

A few of ours..........

Nightly ritual, clip asks permission to go to bed, kneels in front of Me, and I kiss him on the forehead.

Before play, he kneels in front of Me to have his cuffs put on. (Restraints, YAY!)

Always a kiss before one of us leaves the house.




I think those rituals are extremely romantic.


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LilSquaw
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RE: Rituals - 1/30/2013 4:28:59 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz


I was military for a bit, and it took a LOT of sweat and tears to try and get used to the rigid scheduling. I don't do well with that sort of thing.



This made me laugh because my bestie is in the military and is always telling me I choose the wrong career because of my love for routine and schedules.

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LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
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http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
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RE: Rituals - 1/30/2013 4:32:20 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		It may be hard to tell because I'm such a hard ass sometimes, but I tend to be rather affectionate. I like incorporating kneeling into rituals when it comes to D/s because it's that nice mental moment to be in touch with the power structure.

Lots of vanilla folks have rituals, too. They just don't necessarily call them that.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Rituals - 1/30/2013 5:49:16 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact



Lots of vanilla folks have rituals, too. They just don't necessarily call them that.




I agree!
That's actually why I didn't post this on the general board because there are those that have them but they are no "lifestyle" related.


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LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
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http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
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RE: Rituals - 1/30/2013 7:45:31 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I think our entire relationship and life together is routine lol.

We both wake up and go to work at the same times as always. We do everything in the same order...shower, coffee, whatever....

We both get home, do the same thing. Dinner is ready at around the same time for the most part, we sit on the couch and cuddle and watch tv and relax, we get ready for bed.

Yup....entire life is routine. I can't think of anything that is not a routine in our life. We might throw something in every once in awhile for a change but it's usually weekends when we both have more free time.

We both sorta like the routine of our lives. We don't like chaos. We don't like making life difficult. We don't like having to guess or wonder. We like the knowing. We like the simplicity. It just makes life run a lot smoother.

As for rituals. Yes, I guess you could say we have some, such as me serving him dinner first, making him a cup of tea as soon as he walks in the door and giving it to him. Other than that, can't really think of any off the top of my head.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 1/30/2013 7:49:08 PM >

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