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vield -> RE: How was your first munch? (11/21/2012 12:42:17 PM)
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Good topic!
I can not remember my 1st Munch, I do not think the term had yet been coined in those days. But the group had a public outreach in a public restaurant, where one could agree to join the group, then one got directions to the location of the discussion or demo main meeting, and later many went out to dinner in a semi-private room or a restaurant which liked our business.
I had been to a number of kinky socials or "meet and greet" events before that.
As a submissive, walking into a new (to me) event always feels like stepping off a platform blindfolded, hoping the drop is only a couple of inches. That feeling always goes away shortly, and will not be present if I am attending with someone I have some connection or friendship with.
As a dominant, walking into a new (to me) event is a bit exciting, but I try not to have expectations of what will result from the event. That way I enjoy whatever goes down.
Often if it is a new event to me, I walk in as a switch with some of both sets of feelings.
I have made a lot of friends through Munches and other events. I recommend new folks to try the events near them, because at least when one is talking to someone in person one can get a LOT better idea of their actual age, gender, intelligence, hygiene, and at least a bit more idea about whether or not they know what they are talking about. On line too many are hiding their real self behind a keyboard, then if they even show up for an in-person meeting the contrast between who they claim to be and who they are can be shocking.
Here in Wisconsin we have a LOT of meetings, Munches, events, classes, and discussion groups. The majority of the groups have people looking out for newbies, to welcome them, introduce them and make them feel safe. Many of the best known groups are pan-sexual, welcoming those of all (consenting adult) preferences, so often there is a rich mixture of ideas.
In ALL cases though it is our own responsibility to keep ourselves safe. If anyone pushes us in any direction we are not open to or ready for we need to tell them "no thank you" and if attentions persist, to ask a group officer or leader to help. If you do not know the organizers or leaders, look around and go to someone who is the center of attention for several people and politely ask them for assistance.
I highly recommend making acquaintances, then friends before agreeing to become partners with anyone. That way you have a back-up network to help you find what you seek.
If there is a choice in your area, I suggest attending groups with little or no "protocols of behavior". Some of the high protocol groups can be extremely exciting to be a member of, but not until you understand what you are getting into and you decide that you do want this.
I also suggest you at least try groups who are open to all ages and all genders and all consensual practices. Your own personal kinks may end up best served by a very limited focus group eventually, but it is much more likely that you may find friends or teachers or mentors in a group of wider interests.
It is also a point that if you make friend with people who are NOT seeking the same things you are, you may not find yourself in competition with someone you thought was a friend!
Be safe & happy!
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