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Hello New Dom looking for sub - 11/16/2012 12:49:49 AM

NewDomLooking57

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline

I'm a new dom looking for a new sub for a long term discrete sexual journey. Any advice you have after reading my profile would be appreciated. Nice to find a site where I feel like I'm not a freak!

Thanks,

< Message edited by NewDomLooking57 -- 11/16/2012 12:50:11 AM >

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RE: Hello New Dom looking for sub - 11/16/2012 1:01:47 AM

MstSebastian

Posts: 169
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline

Welcome! Since you asked for advice, I am sure there are plenty of women on here who can guide you in how to best present yourself on your profile to get what you are after.

One thing, however...you mention you are married on your profile. If your wife doesn't know about this side of you, or your search for a submissive woman, that will likely be looked down upon by many. (Cheating on someone is not cool). If your wife DOES know and is alright with it, you may want to spell that out quite clearly in your profile. (Feel free to take a look at mine if you want to see how I handled the same situation).

_____________________________

The greatest gift a person can give is the gift of their willing submission. It is a gift more precious than gold and more fragile than glass. It is my responsibility to make sure that, every day, I am worthy of that gift.

(in reply to NewDomLooking57)

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RE: Hello New Dom looking for sub - 11/16/2012 1:08:37 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Hello and welcome to the discussion side of CM.

Here's my advice: Per your profile, your primary interest is in a D/s relationship. This type of relationship is built on trust to a great extent, and that's hard (some may say impossible) to develop between people who are both cheating on their spouses.

This forum tends to take a dim view of cheaters, and that's not necessarily a moral view, though it may certainly seem like it. It's more that cheating invalidates so much of who and what a dominant is supposed to be: honest, in control of one's self, possessing superior self-knowledge through the ability to be self-reflective, compassionate and emotionally aware in their guidance and leadership.

How can you be all these things AND be cheating on your spouse, who you must claim to love or you would not still be married.

And yes, I get you seek primarily a sexual relationship, this does not alter the above in the least (JMO folks).

Either talk to your wife and get her approval to open your marriage, or spend some time reflecting on who you are and what you really want in life. Because married and cheating hurts people, there is no way around that. It's hugely dishonest at core, and therefore, not dominant in the least.

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(in reply to NewDomLooking57)

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RE: Hello New Dom looking for sub - 11/16/2012 1:12:40 AM

Nelee

Posts: 205
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline

Welcome! Advice-wise (other than what the others have already said--very good points!), you may not want to make your intro sound like a classified ad. It's a bit off putting. Also, cheating is not good at all, sir. I can't speak for others, but as a sub, I would NOT allow anyone who's willing to lie to the person they married be my dom. If you're dishonest in that relationship, it's safe to say you'll be dishonest in another, and that you'll be a terrible, selfish dom.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

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RE: Hello New Dom looking for sub - 11/16/2012 1:13:46 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I took the liberty of perusing your profile and you do handle the fact that you have a primary partner very well. Actually, your entire profile is very well written.

I also note we are neighbors ! Cool beans !

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(in reply to MstSebastian)

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RE: Hello New Dom looking for sub - 11/16/2012 1:19:29 AM

MstSebastian

Posts: 169
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I took the liberty of perusing your profile and you do handle the fact that you have a primary partner very well. Actually, your entire profile is very well written.

I also note we are neighbors ! Cool beans !

Thank you, that was very nice of you!

And, yay for neighbors!

_____________________________

The greatest gift a person can give is the gift of their willing submission. It is a gift more precious than gold and more fragile than glass. It is my responsibility to make sure that, every day, I am worthy of that gift.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

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Post #: 6