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How is your vanilla side different? - 11/15/2012 6:49:03 PM

ScarletKissesx

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How do you differ in your vanilla side from your kink side? I'm curious to know who else goes to from one extreme to another lol

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/15/2012 6:52:16 PM

poise

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I am naked more often in my kink side compared to my vanilla side.

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/15/2012 6:54:49 PM

ScarletKissesx

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Really? I'm the opposite, I hide away in my clothes on the vanilla side of things

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/15/2012 6:55:48 PM

OsideGirl

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I'm married to Master and own my own business which I run from our home. I don't really know if there is a difference between the kink and vanilla sides. Even with a house full of family...Master is still in charge.

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/15/2012 6:59:28 PM

ScarletKissesx

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I find that really interesting Oside, only because I'm in a relationship at present and on the kink side of things I'm strict and love nothing more then seeing a subs face turn red while i crush it between my thighs, yet on the vanilla side I want to do nothing more but snuggle up with my girl :/ personality aspects are different for sure in my case, thats cute that you married your master :)

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/15/2012 8:01:03 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ScarletKissesx

How do you differ in your vanilla side from your kink side? I'm curious to know who else goes to from one extreme to another lol

It doesn't. I don't separate my life. It's all one and the same.

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/15/2012 8:35:24 PM

idogaydrugs

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I don't really have "sides"... but my kinky life needs to be teased and denied and abused in various ways, while in the vanilla sphere, I like passion, romance, sensuality!

I would say the kinky "side" is the main one and wants to be used, whereas the vanilla "side" is the more general one and wants to be appreciated and cared for tenderly. :3

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/15/2012 9:30:56 PM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ScarletKissesx

How do you differ in your vanilla side from your kink side? I'm curious to know who else goes to from one extreme to another lol

I don't. Actually I don't consider Myself "kinky" either, mostly just D. I'm pretty much like this ALL the time, as far back as I can recall, waaaaay back, there has usually been some form of D/s situation in My interactions with other people. I'm not LOUD about it...the situation just "IS".

The only time I'm not is perhaps going into a new environment where I don't know the people well enough yet to allow them see My personality. However, even when I try to hide it some individuals manage to pick up on it VERY quickly and suddenly want to be My bestest fwends (little flock of fluttering moths hovering around hoping to get burned).
Sorry, I guess that wasn't the answer you wanted.

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/15/2012 9:39:51 PM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

I am naked more often in my kink side compared to my vanilla side.

Ok, HERE is where My "kink" side and "vanilla" side diverge. Normally at home I'm a part-time nudist (sunbathing, gardening, running around the house).

However, since I'm MARRIED, when interacting with My subs I'm fully clothed (in fact, I'm looking for ways to incorporate My 70 lbs of armor and chainmail into My D/s)

----Armor fetish, anyone? hee hee :)

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/15/2012 10:42:09 PM

AthenaSurrenders

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There has got to be a niche market for chain mail fetish just waiting to be tapped.

I don't think I really have a kink side and a vanilla side. It's kind of like asking whether I'm a different person at work that when I'm grocery shopping. I'm just me with my own particular bundle of personality traits. I don't discuss bondage with customers because it's not relevant to our interaction but it doesn't mean that I have a whole other side to me. In life we fulfill lots of overlapping roles - parents, children, siblings, colleagues, friends, neighbours, advisors, rivals, bosses, employees, carers and patients, on and on and on.

Even if I weren't remotely kinky, there are certain times when your sex life doesn't need to be mentioned, like family gatherings and waiting for a bus. Other than the things we might get up to in the bedroom, there's nothing we can't do in public. He's the boss, he makes the final decisions but I have a large degree of autonomy. I abide by his expectations. This is just how our relationship works best, there is no separating it into distinct chunks. We're also married.

I don't see any conflict between him caning me until I cry and then cuddling on the sofa watching The Big Bang Theory. They're both just ways we show our love.

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/15/2012 11:02:07 PM

ARIES83

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Gah...
The two are unfortunatly very blurred together,
Of course there is the public face and the private
one, but the D/s does inevitably shine through in
many ways.

So thats me, to hard to fit into a vanilla cone,
to soft to consider myself a part of the bdsm crowd.

-Aries

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/16/2012 12:51:54 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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I don't have kink and vanilla 'sides' either. I *do* have sides, as I'm very dual natured; switches *are* dual natured.

I have my soft, sensitive, creative, compassionate, far more emotional sub side, and my tough, assertive, efficient and far less emotional dom side. Admittedly the vanilla world is far more likely to see my dom side, but that's not always true. I once had an employee shocked when she saw my reaction to a baby. She considered me this tough, efficient administrator (which at the time I was), and was floored at how I goo-gooed at the baby. So I guess I have to say what side of me you get depends on who you are, and certainly how threatened I may feel.

Of course at my age, it's all seamlessly integrated into who I am. I think the entire idea of having kink and vanilla sides is for those still young enough to not have such a well integrated personality.

As a person I'm always intelligent, open-minded, communicative, self-reflective, creative in my thinking, and have a high degree of emotional awareness. And of course, I'm extremely humble.

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/16/2012 1:03:47 AM

Nelee

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Armor fetish is best fetish.

Anyway, I don't think there's much of a difference. I have a pretty submissive personality regardless. I'd say my "debate" side and the rest of me is different. I turn into a confrontational, aggressive person in a debate. Or argument, really.
I do occasionally get really bratty and demanding, but I don't know if that counts for anything.

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/16/2012 2:11:47 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I don't really know if there is a difference between the kink and vanilla sides. Even with a house full of family...Master is still in charge.

This (well, and all the others who struggled with the concept of "sides")

Certainly our relationship has many facets but I'm not really sure how I could separate the dynamic from the rest of them. It'd be kind of like asking how the loving and non-loving sides of our marriage were different. There IS no non-loving side. The love runs through it all and vastly colors everything. It's the same way with our dynamic.

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/16/2012 8:50:33 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ScarletKissesx

I find that really interesting Oside, only because I'm in a relationship at present and on the kink side of things I'm strict and love nothing more then seeing a subs face turn red while i crush it between my thighs, yet on the vanilla side I want to do nothing more but snuggle up with my girl :/ personality aspects are different for sure in my case, thats cute that you married your master :)

But, here's the point. If snuggling up makes him happy....then I do it, which is submitting to him.

D/s does not equal kinky sex. D/s is submitting when the Dominant makes a request. If he requests that I perform a vanilla task and I submit to his request, it's still D/s.

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/16/2012 8:58:46 AM

LaTigresse

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For me, it's not really 'sides' persay.

I simply have to rein myself in and avoid going all, bitchqueenladyofthemanor, with people I am not in a power exchange dynamic with. The reality is that, my job requires I be almost exactly what I expect of myself in a personal M/s relationship. So it's all good there. My bigger challenges tend to be with personal relationships.....mostly family.

For BDSM play, only a certain dynamic tends to inspire that, for the most part. Though my sadistic streak is sometimes a bit too broad.

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/16/2012 9:07:53 AM

chatterbox24

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Im vanilla aspiring to be neopolitan.

I dont have two sides to it, but I have often been accused of two personalities, so ???

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/16/2012 10:25:14 AM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

There has got to be a niche market for chain mail fetish just waiting to be tapped.

Actually there is. Aside from outright Reenactment and Living History groups who wear chainmail, you can also find "kinky" chainmail clothing such as bikinis, necklaces, etc. I can't vouch for the comfort of chain bikinis though. My chainmail shirt (essentially a giant T-shirt shape made with steel rings) weighs 35 lbs and needs to have padded clothing worn underneath. I'd hate to think what it would feel like if a nipple got caught in the links....but maybe there's someone out there who would ENJOY that. :P

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/16/2012 10:32:33 AM

OsideGirl

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I once had a pair of shoes where the sole was bent metal and the straps were very fine chain mail.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

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RE: How is your vanilla side different? - 11/16/2012 10:57:57 AM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

And of course, I'm extremely humble.

This matches my impression, too.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

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