quote:

ORIGINAL: desire4flr
So..... am I REALLY stupid, or was it that she did not like the photo? I mean, really how stupid AM I? Do the rules of common courtesy NOT apply in this lifestyle?

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

OP, if you'll permit me just a bit of good natured chiding: When you ask a question like "How stupid am I?", you open yourself up to smart asses (like me) responding with things like: "I think there's unexplored potential".

Now, seriously, I have found that by-and-large on any social networking/interwebs hook-up site that there's usually a reason why people don't post a photo. My first thought, usually, is that they have a partner that would be shocked if a photo was stumbled upon, looking for other lovers but there are are people that know that they are not the most aesthetically pleasing and, therefore, they avoid the whole photo discussion.

When people don't post a photo and hope that they can "snag" someone with their personality, they're probably right. I'm a fairly ugly guy that (I like to think) makes a pretty good impression on my profile and in text communication. However, we cannot ignore the fact that while someone who is hunting based upon looks alone is pretty shallow, it is unfair and intellectually dishonest to think that we are going to be everybody's cup of tea, aesthetically.

In plain language; I think you purposely hid your appearance (for whatever reason) and by doing so, you were "dishonest" on some level. It would be like me, leaving the word "polyamorous" off of my profile and then, springing it on a lady 4 weeks into a relationship.

I'm sorry you had this experience but, learn from it. Post a photo or make sure you send one with an initial e-mail. You may still suffer rejection but it won't hurt as much as the rejection + time wasted. Time is our most precious resource because it can't be replenished. If you had wasted mine, I'd have found a way to waste your'n.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

quote:

ORIGINAL: desire4flr

I sent an introduction to a Miss and we started exchanging emails. At some point came the inevitable photo (on my part only) after which there was total silence.

After waiting for a couple of days I inquired as to whether the photo was not to her liking and was told she was just not feeling well.

I got a slightly irritated note actually over my "impatience" though the responses were quite quick prior to that point.

I apologized politely for my insolence and we exchanged some playful notes, and about 2-3 notes later, out of nowhere she sent a note, unsent it, then blocked me.

So..... am I REALLY stupid, or was it that she did not like the photo? I mean, really how stupid AM I? Do the rules of common courtesy NOT apply in this lifestyle?

quote:

Oh, and also, I am a woman, so if I get bored/sick of you at any moment, this is the Internet, so I can pull the plug without even the slightest amount of verbal interplay.

quote:

ORIGINAL: desire4flr
how stupid AM I?

quote:

ORIGINAL: desire4flr
Do the rules of common courtesy NOT apply in this lifestyle?

quote:

ORIGINAL: desire4flr

I sent an introduction to a Miss and we started exchanging emails. At some point came the inevitable photo (on my part only) after which there was total silence.

After waiting for a couple of days I inquired as to whether the photo was not to her liking and was told she was just not feeling well.

I got a slightly irritated note actually over my "impatience" though the responses were quite quick prior to that point.

I apologized politely for my insolence and we exchanged some playful notes, and about 2-3 notes later, out of nowhere she sent a note, unsent it, then blocked me.

So..... am I REALLY stupid, or was it that she did not like the photo? I mean, really how stupid AM I? Do the rules of common courtesy NOT apply in this lifestyle?

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite



OP, sadly, the standard here is "I am a woman, so even though this is the Internet, you are required to send me an initial message that is the verbal equivalent of wine and flowers, otherwise I am completely justified in ignoring or outright mocking your entreaty. Oh, and also, I am a woman, so if I get bored/sick of you at any moment, this is the Internet, so I can pull the plug without even the slightest amount of verbal interplay. Remember: you are required to comport yourself with dignity and grace and a modicum of social normality befitting a polite society, while I am not. See: privates. Also: supply and demand."


Hey-- at least it's a standard.