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Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 10/25/2012 2:14:47 PM

fucktoyprincess

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Has anyone else had the following type of experience?

Former partners of mine (both vanilla and BDSM), most of whom I am still friendly with, even if not in frequent contact, will all contact me around the same time. I will go months without hearing from any of them, and then all of a sudden there will be a flurry of email, text, or in some cases phone calls. Many of these people do not even live near me any more. They also have no connection to each other, other than the fact that at some point in their lives they were involved with me in some way, shape or form (from more casual situations to more serious relationships).

But I have noticed (for many years now) that the reaching out is always clustered around certain times (not seasonal either, it is at random times of the year - but always clustered together).

I am just curious if anyone else experiences a pattern like this (with lovers, friends, or even family members). What is up with that? It weirds me out a bit. Literally, I will be contacted by one of them, and then like clockwork, within a two week period, I hear from a number of them. So strange.

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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 10/25/2012 7:24:14 PM

Kana

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When it rains, it pours

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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 10/25/2012 9:42:43 PM

littlewonder

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I would have this happen when I was newly fresh in a relationship. It seemed that once that happened, they would call to try and edge their way in. Personally I never bothered to respond to any communication from them.

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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 10/25/2012 11:56:11 PM

descrite

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Feast or famine...I've noticed it beyond exes, as well-- like, when you're On, you're hot...and, like the song says, "If you're bored then you're boring."

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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 10/26/2012 7:01:06 AM

fucktoyprincess

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Interestingly, they are not contacting me to get back together. They are usually just reaching out to say hi - many of us are friends, but we are not seeing each other anymore. It isn't sexual. And most are not even in the city, and don't necessarily know what's going on in my life at the moment, and aren't reaching out to "hook-up" - I mean they aren't even anywhere near me geographically. And I am not reaching out to them. It's the timing of it that weirds me out. Just plain weird. Like a whole group of people suddenly thought of me - but why?

Okay, this may just be inexplicable.

btw, I do agree that often in the dating world things go in cycles (like once you start seeing someone you are suddenly more attractive to others type phenomenon), but that's not exactly what I'm talking about here.

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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 10/26/2012 11:37:27 AM

littlewonder

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My experience has been that when men "reach out just to say hi", they are not reaching out to say hi.

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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 10/26/2012 1:16:03 PM

Rule

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The phenomenon is called synchronicity. You are its spiritual cause, causing the Divine to facilitate that these people reach out to you.

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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 10/26/2012 2:13:05 PM

fucktoyprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

My experience has been that when men "reach out just to say hi", they are not reaching out to say hi.

Well, some of my former partners are women. And the men who are reaching out are my friends currently. We do platonic things together on occasion, sometimes even with current gfs/bfs. Although I guess it's possible that men are never capable of reaching out just to say hi. I don't know. These are currently my friends. We are not involved. I helped one man pick out his engagement ring for his gf. So, in my mind, when friends like that reach out to say hi, I pretty much treat it as face value, and don't assume ulterior (sexual or relationship) motive. Perhaps I am naive.

There are a few from my past who reach out when they want to hook-up - that's a completely different interaction, and I know exactly why that is happening....lol....and I don't treat that with much seriousness. So I do get what you are saying, but it applies to different people in my life. I know who those are. And interestingly, they are not really in my group of friends. They only emerge for one reason! And they usually don't hide their motives at all! lol......

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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 10/26/2012 4:06:09 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

My experience has been that when men "reach out just to say hi", they are not reaching out to say hi.

That's why we do it with our penis

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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 10/26/2012 5:12:08 PM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

The phenomenon is called synchronicity. You are its spiritual cause, causing the Divine to facilitate that these people reach out to you.

Ta'veren.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

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From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 10/26/2012 6:23:01 PM

LadyPact

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You're not alone, OP. It happens to Me, too. I'd expect it more if it happened during the holidays or significant dates in some way, but that's not usually the way it comes around.

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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 11/1/2012 2:39:50 PM

fucktoyprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

You're not alone, OP. It happens to Me, too. I'd expect it more if it happened during the holidays or significant dates in some way, but that's not usually the way it comes around.

So what is the deal with that? Any speculation? I'm not religious, but I am a spiritual person. I often wonder if it is something cosmic in some way - and by that I literally mean gravitational effects of planetary movement. I know. That makes me sound like a complete flake.....

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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 11/1/2012 4:52:30 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess

Has anyone else had the following type of experience?

Former partners of mine (both vanilla and BDSM), most of whom I am still friendly with, even if not in frequent contact, will all contact me around the same time. I will go months without hearing from any of them, and then all of a sudden there will be a flurry of email, text, or in some cases phone calls. Many of these people do not even live near me any more. They also have no connection to each other, other than the fact that at some point in their lives they were involved with me in some way, shape or form (from more casual situations to more serious relationships).

But I have noticed (for many years now) that the reaching out is always clustered around certain times (not seasonal either, it is at random times of the year - but always clustered together).

I am just curious if anyone else experiences a pattern like this (with lovers, friends, or even family members). What is up with that? It weirds me out a bit. Literally, I will be contacted by one of them, and then like clockwork, within a two week period, I hear from a number of them. So strange.

I was gonna email you, but I didn't want my email to be clustered in amongst all those others.

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RE: Blasts from the Past - Patterns?? - 11/2/2012 8:06:42 AM

fucktoyprincess

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Haha.....