Proprietrix
Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
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Back to the OP - I understand what you are saying in all of this. In fact, when I read the response in the other thread, I was tempted to post this as a new topic as well.
If you take out all of those things that "insinuate a submissive is being treated like a child", what’s left? Take away the play, the spankings, the punishments, the boundaries, the training, and anything else that a submissive says "I don’t need XYZ. I am not a child."
And what do you have left besides vanilla?
(And I have to add I’m a tad bit confused on why someone would feel that being punished is being treated like a child, but being disciplined isn’t being treated like a child. Both punishment and discipline happen in the adult world all the time. Just look at the labor force.)
So you're left with the power exchange? How does it manifest?
Power and authority mean very little if they aren’t being exerted in some way.
"Wanting to please your partner and make them happy" isn’t the’be all –end all’ of submission. I know a lot of vanilla couples, with no hint of D/s, who want to please their partners and make them happy.
Two people can engage in ritualistic and ceremonial behaviors that contribute to power and authority, without the devices of punishment.
But even then, the dynamic of either discipline or role-play is afoot.
If someone says "I don’t have to discipline my little one. I only have to give a stern look, show my displeasure, or use a certain tone of voice."
That’s still discipline.
You’ve just replaced spanking, writing sentences, and time-out, with stern looks, showing displeasure, and tone of voice.
I can say the exact same thing in disciplining my son. If he doesn’t fill the ice trays, I don’t have to ground him, I can simply hold up the ice tray and give him a particular look.
I’ve just replaced the disciplinary measure with one much less drastic. But I’m still disciplining him. I’m still in the process of teaching him a certain behavior.
However, when my sister comes over, I don’t give her "the look". I’m not disciplining her.
I assume if I ever had a vanilla partner, I wouldn’t give them the look either. I’m not disciplining them.
We might still want to please each other and make each other happy though.
Excluding play, what makes the change from vanilla to power exchange, if not the disciplinary dynamic?
How can you have power and authority over someone else if you’re not disciplining them, punishing them, setting boundaries for them, training them, or in some way reinforcing behaviors?
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IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).
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RE: Feelin' the Power - 
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