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Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/13/2012 4:34:48 PM   
Servallier


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/11/2012
Status: offline 		So, a submissive friend of mine (online only thus far) has invited me to meet her at a BDSM club night. I am more than happy to take her up on that offer, both to meet her, and to have an experience of the larger BDSM crowd.

It's the kind of place that has something of a dress code, however. Now, outside of my dominant tenancies, I'm a fairly average person, especially when it comes to attire (jeans, tee, hoody if it's cold and i'm done), so I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice pertaining to dressing the part when it comes to places like this.

Many thanks.
S

(PS: This may seem somewhat shallow, but she's going in a full pony harness, and I do want to dress to impress as a dominant)
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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/13/2012 4:38:53 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Lots of clubs do the all black clothing dress code, thank goodness...

Do you know if there's some kind of theme to the evening? If not, you could coordinate with your date. Unifroms are nice, so is formalwear.

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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/13/2012 4:43:35 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Is it a BDSM club or just a club that has a BDSM night?

If it's a BDSM club, most places have their dungeon rules on the net somewhere. Many of the major clubs have their dress code up on their website as well.

Either way, Hib is right. I've never seen anyone turned away from the club by going with black for the ambiance. Even just a pair of black jeans, a black button down shirt, and a pair of dark shoes will work for guys. Gals can do a variation of the same. The person that you are meeting in pony garb will be fun. Expect to see various outfits.


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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/13/2012 5:42:58 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		Check the event website for a dresscode, if available.

There are clubs and events with no-denim rules in effect, so check up on that first. Dress code's really up to the event you're going to.

Period formal evening wear, Phantom of the Opera or something reminiscent of Steampunk or traditional foxhunting (riding boots, red jacket)?

The monocle's a definite yes. Were I in her shoes, I'd be quite titillated if you turned up with some kind of actual equestrian tool such as a hunting crop or dressage whip in your belt.

But most of all, dress a part you can have fun with!

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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/13/2012 5:43:30 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		The parties I went to in south Florida had a far stricter dress code. Have you checked the official guidelines for your event? Maybe you could post them here?

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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/13/2012 9:15:43 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

(PS: This may seem somewhat shallow, but she's going in a full pony harness, and I do want to dress to impress as a dominant)


Black is always good, as has been said. To impress and not just get by, it's important to do better than black jeans and t-shirt. Here is the minimum that can be done without laying out too much money.

Black cotton pull over shirt in a fine woven cotton that gives it a shine, sometimes referred to as "liquid cotton" with a metal zipper in front or open v neck. An alternative is a cotton dress shirt in black with or without grey strips and make sure it has black buttons.

Black dress pants with flat front only, no pleats at all and no cuff if you can help it.

Black dress shoes or dress boots are even better.

Do not hang your flogger on your belt or on you at all. It's done but only by those who think they have something to prove.

Carry an overnight bag with your basic Dom kit: medium flogger (it will fold nicely in that size bag, rope, hand cleaner, small plastic despenser of towelets, blunt nose medical sissors to cut her out of anything she needs to be quicky released from, bottles of water, personal lubrication.

Most clubs have lockers and you look best when you walk in the door carrying, or better yet, ask her to carry it for you, a bag clearly filled with this stuff. You look less like the first timer. A lot less, plus you have what you need.

Note I've never had a pony girl so others may give you better advice on what you need for that particular play. I have a real pony and she need a lot of stroking and rewards so maybe that works for pony girls. dunno.

Have fun. Remember to give her water. (now you know what the water bottles are for.)

Arturas



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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/14/2012 5:05:50 AM   
Servallier


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/11/2012
Status: offline 		Thank your for all of the replies everyone.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta
The monocle's a definite yes.


Unfortuanately, the monocle went awry while I was coming home from university this year, and I'm a habitual glasses-wearer, which makes monocles awkward for extended periods, glad you like it though, I'll be getting a new one soon.

A friend of mine (who is an extremely gay fashion design student) helped me put together an idea for what I could wear from what I already have:
Black or red button down shirt, black long coat (cotton, not leather), black jeans or smart trousers, magnum classic boots, possibly leather gloves, hair tied back, facial hair well groomed (I insist on having long hair, and due to my face shape I tend to end up looking less like a 21 year old man, and more like a 16 year old girl when I shave, which does not do anything for your dom credentials unless you're an anime character)

Any thoughts on this outfit?

Also, apparently the theme for the night (It's a club with a monthly bdsm night) is Demons, so I may go for the handsome "Deal with the devil" look, maybe shave a pointed goatee into my face, any other suggestions for a student Dom on a budget?

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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/14/2012 5:12:19 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		I once saw a performance of Faustus in which Mephistopheles was an extremely suave, well groomed man in a black morning suit, with red waistcoat, and a top hat. So I think you can go with your smart and handsome plan and still keep with the theme.

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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/14/2012 5:25:17 AM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		A member of my church once played the Devil in a local church preformance. He said what he did to make himself look evil was shave off his eyebrows. He also said that he got a lot of weird stares in the couple of months it took them to grow back, so I'm not sure if you would want to go to that extreme

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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/14/2012 6:05:23 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Had to peek at your profile.

Yeah, sounds great, you got *it* going on if I may say. What do I mean by it? Your very own special self thing, which is something all good dominants need. It's what makes them intriguing.

So I would add something unexpected to this sartorial mix. Spats? An antique stick pin? Pink silk scarf? I'm not so much suggesting those things as tossing out examples of the kind of unexpected thing I mean, something no one else would be wearing, b/c they just could *not* pull it off. You will know it when you see it.

Have a marvelous time.

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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/14/2012 6:42:00 AM   
Servallier


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/11/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
Spats? An antique stick pin? Pink silk scarf?


Hmm, If i go for a cravatte perhaps, red if i choose black shirt and vice versa. I believe I have a waistcoat lurking around somewhere too... Might look in to getting a pocket watch too, I do so love the 'victorian gentleman' look. I might even put some product in my hair, slick it back before I tie it up

Thank you so much for the advice to far, and for your kind words, ChatteParfaitt, it's always good to feel welcome in a community

< Message edited by Servallier -- 9/14/2012 6:44:41 AM >

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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/14/2012 7:54:17 AM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		As an aside, I saw an ad for a pocketwatch magazine on TV. One of these partworks magazines. Something like £2.99 for first issue & watch - might be worth a party punt. Enjoy!

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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/14/2012 11:15:57 AM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		I vote for trousers, not jeans, and a splash of red either in the shirt or as a waistcoat.
How about growing your nails out and trimming them into points? Maybe snip the tips off some gloves so they peek out.

CP is very right about displaying something that is unique to you. (I've lusted for Tennet's pocketwatch from Family of Blood eversince the episodes aired lol)

It'd be fun to see some pics :D

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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/14/2012 11:30:21 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

It'd be fun to see some pics :D


Agreed.

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RE: Preparing for my first meet/club experience - 9/14/2012 4:38:54 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		For what it's worth, OP, the outfit as you describe about sounds perfectly fine. I'm glad to see you putting some thought into it.

Just one other thing. I sometimes get the impression that a lot of folks think they have to have these expensive things to wear to the club. You don't. No, I wouldn't suggest a pair of shorts and some flip flops, but you don't have to do the leather, the latex, etc. As long as you are within the guidelines for the club, you are doing ok.

I really do hope that you and your friend have a good time. Good luck.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 15
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