nephandi
Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline
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Greetings
I do not have a problem with what others want in their wedding ceremonies. If they have the word obey or submit, as long as not everyone have to have that as part of their vows then I have no problem with it. The thing I do have a problem with is a little wording that many have at the end of their ceremony, it was more common before but many still have it. When the kissing is done and the priest say.
"I now present to you Mr and Mrs Dan Heller."
Now here is why I have a problem with this. It is not the woman taking the man's last name. I do not know if I would but that makes sense at least if the couple is planning on having children, but when you are presented as Mrs Dan Heller then you are just an accessory to your husband. Had the priest said Mr and Mrs Heller or Dan and Sophie Heller then that would be fine. But when the priest say Mr and Mrs Dan Heller then it is made clear that here we have Dan Heller and his wife, the wife is not important on her own, she is just the wife of Dan Heller she do not even get her name mentioned, she is just Mrs Dan Heller, this man's wife that is her identity. I would much rather have to vow to obey or submit to a man than to be just Mrs Dan Heller.
When that is said I really like how this couple look at things from a personal point of view. I think that the infamous natural order that among others Goreans talk about is presented right here. The man is the leader but he is also the protector, the woman is the follower but she is also the protected. Now off course I feel that this so called natural order can not be applied to everyone, there is more differences between individuals then between genders, but for me I would want a man who is a leader and a protector.
Once Aswad and me was out walking and we saw what we thought was a robbery of a local factory. Aswad immediately took charge and pushed me behind him while he went a little closer to see what was going on so he could call the police. His first instinct in the face of potential danger was to protect me, and I must say I loved him a little more than I already do that day. For a man who is willing to lay his life and safety on the line to protect me I am willing to follow and I would want such a man to be my leader not my equal, but then again that is just me.
I wish you well
_____________________________
Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad
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To love and to submit - 
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