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New with a question... - 8/21/2012 10:23:44 AM   
culareD


Posts: 762
Joined: 8/16/2012
Status: offline 		Hello all,

I am a fairly new-to-the-scene sub with a question...

When a potential dom asks you to post on your profile "under consideration" what should one do? We have only been talking for a short time over CM...your thoughts are most welcome and appreciated.

Grateful to be here,

~ culare'd

“It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.”
― Cherise Sinclair, Dark Citadel
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 10:25:43 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Crossposting is verboten.

you might want to edit this post to "NM".

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to culareD)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 10:27:48 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		If he does it without getting to know you really well, you should assume he is a wanker and treat him as such.

A lot of wannabe doms ask subs to put "Under consideration" on their profile kinda like my dog pees on trees. They're 'marking territory' and hoping that one of them might eventually send him pictures of her naked girly bits under threat of "If you don't, you're not a true sub".

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to culareD)
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RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 10:29:08 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		ARE you "under consideration"? Dating? Going steady? If none of that is true, he's just trying to put you in the "off limits" area.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 11:29:10 AM   
SpaceSpank


Posts: 244
Joined: 10/3/2010
Status: offline 		This.

"Under consideration" should mean just that. That you are both serious about each other and are letting people know (the ones who read anyways) that you may shortly be no longer looking.

If you feel this is true and you're both committed to exploring things with each other, go for it. Although you need not use those exact words, or you could even just hide your profile if you wish (can still send mails).

But if you feel like he's getting way too ahead of himself, and is just trying to curb off potential matches in an attempt to corral you to him... Then I'd say you should probably tell him no, and may in fact be better off if you just let this one "get" awa.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

ARE you "under consideration"? Dating? Going steady? If none of that is true, he's just trying to put you in the "off limits" area.


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 11:42:07 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		If you do it - so should he!....................

Whats good for the goose is good for the gander...............

The dom can be just as much under consideration as a sub. Infact given the really big gap in the numbers of doms to subs, subs can consider a lot more doms than doms can subs.

(in reply to SpaceSpank)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 12:26:55 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		I view under consideration to mean that he is under your consideration as well.

So, if this is your trial period, it is likewise his.

Try to work out for yourself what qualities and characteristics are important to you:
Honesty?
Integrity?
Patience?

Make your own list of what values and qualities are most important to you.
Make a list of your red flags.

Listen to your gut.

Be honest with yourself.

He may be the first serious contact you have had here; he won't be your last.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to culareD)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 12:34:58 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		If someone saw me as "under consideration", I would tell him to consider me gone. You either want me or you don't. Make up your mind.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 12:36:06 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
If someone saw me as "under consideration", I would tell him to consider me gone. You either want me or you don't. Make up your mind.

lolololol. How very helpful of you to offer that one last bit of service on your way out the door.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 12:36:36 PM   
CRYPTICLXVI


Posts: 3907
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

If someone saw me as "under consideration", I would tell him to consider me gone. You either want me or you don't. Make up your mind.



I like you LW... this 'question" has been posted everywhere.
Also, I find "under consideration" as mostly online shit, similar to "under protection";... might exist but I have my doubts.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 12:38:28 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
If someone saw me as "under consideration", I would tell him to consider me gone. You either want me or you don't. Make up your mind.

lolololol. How very helpful of you to offer that one last bit of service on your way out the door.



What can I say...I like to be helpful.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 12:40:05 PM   
yourdarkdesire


Posts: 4477
Joined: 10/2/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline 		I was stupid enough to fall for this when I joined the site. Major major major mistake!

_____________________________

President, ProSubsRUs

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 12:42:07 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourdarkdesire

I was stupid enough to fall for this when I joined the site. Major major major mistake!

Obviously you need protection and mentoring. Please, let me offer my services...

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to yourdarkdesire)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 1:31:08 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I was stupid enough to fall for this when I joined the site.


Don't feel bad. I did too.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to yourdarkdesire)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 2:15:34 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
Don't feel bad. I did too.

Well hey.. since Kana's busy... need some protection? Just recently I lined up Ishtarr and poise as my official protectors (I got too busy to woo athena as I remember). If you're feeling the need for some protection I'm sure I could loan one or both of them out to you :)


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 2:25:19 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: culareD

Hello all,

I am a fairly new-to-the-scene sub with a question...

When a potential dom asks you to post on your profile "under consideration" what should one do? We have only been talking for a short time over CM...your thoughts are most welcome and appreciated.

Grateful to be here,

~ culare'd

“It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.”
― Cherise Sinclair, Dark Citadel



If you haven't actually met the fella, I would hope you laughed and when you finally caught your breath from the laughter........told him to take a long walk on a short pier.

I actually had one young lady that I exchanged a few email with on the other side ASK ME if she could put on her profile that she was under consideration by me. She said she was hoping to cut down on the email she was getting. I gave it some thought and came to the conclusion that, yeah, we were both considering one another so technically it wouldn't be utter bullshit if she felt it was important to her. So I wrote her back and told her that, if she thought it would help with her email issues, and that technically we were at the very beginning of the considering process........why not!

Apparently that was not the answer she was hoping for as I don't think I ever got another email from her.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to culareD)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 2:38:28 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Her loss, LaT!!

and your win :)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 2:48:06 PM   
onceshattered


Posts: 117
Joined: 7/30/2012
Status: offline 		FR

alright.. here's a little bit of a different perspective (and I'm kind of expecting the firing squad but I'm feeling particularly brave today).

I'm also new. New to the lifestyle and new-ish to the site. If one looks at my profile here or on fetlife, it does state "under the protection of..." Having come from another online medium, I was well aware of what it means/implies within the context of online interactions. I decided to accept the offer and place it on my profile because of three reasons.

1) I, personally, like to concentrate on one person at a time. So if I'm talking to a prospective Dom and I think that the conversations are taking a more serious turn, I do want to give that Dom my full attention. I feel like if I'm talking to more than one, then I'm not really being fair to Him or to myself and I want to be able to give whatever it might be a fair chance to develop. I don't like the term consideration even though it is basically the process that is happening on both of our sides. Plus it's just super embarrassing to confuse facts between multiple people.

2) While it doesn't dissuade ALL Dom-types, I've found that it does stop some people from contacting me. Sort of a - "I'm currently considering someone and temporarily off the market." Some have suggested just hiding my profile, but I don't really like that option because I do like to participate on this side, and sometimes, I've found that people from this side check out my profile. It's just nice to know who you're having a discussion with.

3) He asked me to. To me... it's a small act of submission done in good faith.


All in all, as many have said here, it's up to you whether you accept or not. I have my reasons for doing it, and I am comfortable with those reasons. While some people think it ridiculous, I use it to my advantage. Just realize that yes, some will see it listed on your profile and consider you "off-limits." If you're okay with that, then I say... why the hell not? Sure it's more commonly used in online mediums but really, that's where we are - online. If you would rather continue talking to multiple perspective Doms, then politely refuse and explain why. All a matter of your comfort level.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 2:57:38 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		shattered, here is the difference I seein what you have said in comparison to most who toss up the "under protection of" thing... You are NOT seeing this as a HAPPY EVER AFTER thing.

You are going into ALL of this with wide open, and QUESTIONING eyes.

You are self aware, and actively looking to become even moreso.

You are NOT taking things as GOSPEL until you have questioned, questioned and questioned again.

The Force is strong within you, Young Jedi!!

:)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to onceshattered)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: New with a question... - 8/21/2012 3:02:27 PM   
onceshattered


Posts: 117
Joined: 7/30/2012
Status: offline
:) Thank you muchly GreedyTop! I can learn much from the experiences of others and if I can help someone look at a situation from a different perspective then that's even better.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 20
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