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RE: Facebook RIP - 8/14/2012 6:24:04 PM

Karmastic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

Someone in my town passed away last night. I was friends with him on Facebook, as I am with his ex-wife.

His ex-wife posted an announcement on her status that he had passed away. It was very nice...thankful and appropriate, letting people know who she didn't call personally.

On his Facebook page, many people are posting to his wall, with wishes to rest in peace, etc.

Now...I am actually a fan of Facebook. So why does this bother me? Facebook is how many of us communicate. I did go to his page to see if anyone posted (they did) and considered posting, myself. But...why? To who?

I would be posting on the page of a dead man.

Would you?

i dont like using FB to communicate. i prefer personal conversations, or sometimes, to converse with a disparate group and learn/exchange ideas, discussion boards.

when my father passed away, i volunteered to let everyone on his favorite boards know, and the outpouring of sympathy and eulogies, to so speak, was extremely heartwarming.

i guess one point is that the messages and the death rituals are for the living, not the dead. so don't worry if you want to post to his page for all to see, if you're into FB.

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Post #: 21

RE: Facebook RIP - 8/14/2012 9:51:45 PM

NuevaVida

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I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

I use Facebook daily - Love it. But I don't like learning about the death of loved ones on it. I still have trouble with that. Last month I learned a cousin of mine died, when my brother posted it. A couple years ago, I learned of my uncle's death that way. I understand it's a way to broadcast a message, much like a death notice in the local paper used to be. But it hasn't set well with me.

As for posting condolences online, there are sites/funeral homes, that have online Guestbooks for families of the deceased. So posting condolences online isn't a new concept. I think it's that we see Facebook as perhaps a happy, friendly place, and using it for death announcements and grief isn't something we've all grasped our hands around yet...? But it's a place where people connect - and connection with those we care about is good, so why not connect over a death, as well.

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Post #: 22

RE: Facebook RIP - 8/14/2012 10:11:07 PM

Winterapple

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Joined: 8/19/2011
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FR
I've never done it and I wouldn't do it
as a replacement for sending a card or
a letter to people I know offline but I
think it's fine. Sometimes at the scene
of a car accident where someone was
killed people leave notes, flowers, crosses,
Teddy bears all sorts of things.
Rituals, gestures and tokens of sympathy
help people cope as they process the loss.

I lost a friend recently and haven't had
the heart to look and see if her family
took her profile down. Part of me wishes
they wouldn't but I don't know that
I'll ever be able to look at it again.

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Post #: 23

RE: Facebook RIP - 8/15/2012 2:06:03 AM

LadyPact

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Using fast reply.

I'd just like a word here. Please don't do some internet crap for MP on the day I shuffle off this mortal coil. He may put some thing up on the net, but he won't find it when he needs it.

Just, do better than that.

Thank you.

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Post #: 24

RE: Facebook RIP - 8/15/2012 6:08:10 AM

Kana

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Joined: 10/24/2006
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Do whatever. I'll be dead-why should I care? It ain't like my feelings are gonna be hurt.

Now personally, and this is just me, working off the idea that if ya can't talk nonsense about a person post mortum, when can ya, when I die, I wouldn't mind if folk gather round and tell stories about what a great guy I am.
Yeah, that would be humorous :-)

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Post #: 25

RE: Facebook RIP - 8/15/2012 5:31:53 PM

hushone

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I had a friend on FB and he passed and I posted just to let his others family and friends know I saw it and what a kind man he was.

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Post #: 26

RE: Facebook RIP - 8/15/2012 6:23:50 PM

DarkSteven

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A NZ kinkster named Arthurod passed away a year or so ago. I posted an RIP message on his wall there. His friends and his ex-sub post there occasionally, like leaving flowers on his grave.

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Post #: 27

RE: Facebook RIP - 8/15/2012 6:34:02 PM

dcnovice

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FR

A neighbor-friend died suddenly in 2010, leaving behind no immediate family. Those of us trying to spread the news and organize a memorial service had only vague ideas about who else mattered in her life. We knew she'd recently reconnected with cousins in Texas and that she loved her art classes. And that was about it.

Facebook proved an absolute godsend. I wrote to each of her friends (via the message feature), sharing the sad news. Within hours, we were in touch with the cousins, and the art teacher's spouse had promised to spread the word to other pupils.

Steven noted that posthumous posts have been like graveside flowers--an apt and lovely image. That holds true for my friend as well. People still post now and then, and it's heart-warming to see that my friend is far from forgotten.

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Post #: 28