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RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 10:20:35 AM   
OddBall


Posts: 49
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline 		Anyone ever asked if you had a passport and a week to ten days to spend on the other side of the world? In a first message? I may be a bit slow but that doesn't sound like the safest idea to me. While it would be interesting to see other parts of the world I think disappearing or ending up worm food would put a real damper on the experience.

(in reply to PurpleKitten)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 12:00:36 PM   
UnownedCOBeauty


Posts: 35
Joined: 9/11/2011
Status: offline 		I've been asked several times to communicate with someone across the seas. "You can come here and serve with a multitude of other slaves I've collected from around the world." Ooh, as appealing as that sounds... my passport doesn't need as much attention as I do.

OP: And not only are there generic messages, there are heartfelt, tailored ones too... like "i rly like ur shoes. omgeee i luv em!" or "i see u live nearby." How could it possibly get more personal than that?

Sometimes I check my mail just for the laughs. :D

_____________________________

"Submit to you --
could that be what you are saying?
the way ripples on the water
submit to an idling wing?" -Ono no Komachi

(in reply to OddBall)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 12:50:13 PM   
mysouldesire


Posts: 85
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		To bad the unkind men who lurk here don't read this; or those pretending to be women or vice versa, or the abusive AH's.

But looking for a piece of ass, male or female seems to be a national past time.

As he points his finger for emphasis . . . ."I did not have sex with that girl !!" lol

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: For new subs. - 8/14/2012 4:52:06 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SpaceSpank
cock shots.

I have a cock shot as a secondary on Fet, but it's a pink silicone one. lol

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to SpaceSpank)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 2:05:05 PM   
monicalynne


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/9/2012
Status: offline 		How about the guy who after a few emails asked if I had kids. When I told him I had 2 girls over the age of 18, he TOLD me to come down and bring my girls so he could fuck all of us.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 2:08:15 PM   
CRYPTICLXVI


Posts: 3907
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: monicalynne

How about the guy who after a few emails asked if I had kids. When I told him I had 2 girls over the age of 18, he TOLD me to come down and bring my girls so he could fuck all of us.


Some people really do live in a fantasy world... I just heard that and it is so true...

(in reply to monicalynne)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 2:21:19 PM   
SWDesertDom


Posts: 231
Joined: 4/5/2012
Status: offline
quote:

You insult me when I don't return your amour (has that ever made a sub want you, really?).


While I don't do this, it's really, really, really, really, REALLY hard not to sometimes. As a male dom seeking, 99% of your interaction on the other side will be interacting with a giant wall of passive aggressive behavior. If that isn't infuriating, nothing is. And you (hypothetical you) have already indicated there will never be an "us" which makes it so very tempting to just vent on you.

While I'm always nice to people who are respectful back to me, I recognize a whole lot aren't. But that doesn't mean that it's any less infuriating to spend all your time "talking to the hand."

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 2:27:08 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SWDesertDom
As a male dom seeking, 99% of your interaction on the other side will be interacting with a giant wall of passive aggressive behavior.

What? You really need to give some examples here, because I have no idea what you are talking about. I have posted plenty of criticisms of dating on CM, which I have used off and on for years. But, other than scammer profiles, almost all the women I've spoken with, and met, have been honest and direct.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to SWDesertDom)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 2:36:29 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		I saw this over on the other site and blogged my own version entitled "How I Know You're A Shitty Sub." I'm almost tempted to post it here.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 2:40:53 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Sharesies!!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 2:48:04 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Don't tempt me, cuz ya know I will!

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 2:59:54 PM   
AVegasMaster


Posts: 119
Joined: 8/2/2010
Status: offline 		Good list

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 3:04:12 PM   
Lucifyre


Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

I saw this over on the other site and blogged my own version entitled "How I Know You're A Shitty Sub." I'm almost tempted to post it here.



iI'd actually like to see it.

Lucifyre

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 3:11:11 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		It's very similar to this one, since her ideas work for both sides. I'll see if I can dig it up. It's been awhile since I posted it to my journal.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to Lucifyre)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 3:11:29 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Yesssssss..... share!!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Lucifyre)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 3:28:58 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Mmmkay, here you go. Just remember, you asked for it.

I Know You're A Shitty Sub If:

Your first message to me is clearly a generic copy/paste message that you've sent to every female with a photo. Especially, if your message arrives with a Spam Filter warning attached.

Your message makes it obvious you have not read my profile or think my requirements don't apply to you. They do.

Your message or profile includes a photo of your genitals or anus. If you don't have enough self-respect to keep your clothes on in front of strangers, I'm not interested in you.

You refer to yourself as a loser, pathetic, worthless, slut, whore, cumdumpster or some other epithet. See the part about lacking self-respect.

You address me as Goddess, Princess or Mistress before we've even met. I'm ok with a courteous "Ma'am" but titles are reserved for people with whom I have a relationship.

You say you have "no limits." That means I can amputate your arms and legs with a chainsaw and feed them to my dog, right?

Your profile and/or your first message are all about you and your kink. If you aren't interesting enough for me to enjoy a vanilla conversation with you, then you're not interesting enough for me to want to do kinky things to you.

You ask for my email or IM info in the first few messages. You're either a scammer or a stalker, neither of which is a good thing.

You demand I "verify" by phone or web cam. Fuck you. No really, Fuck. You. I am under no obligation to prove myself to you and I have no inclination to do so.

You send multiple messages or attempt to guilt trip me when I don’t respond as quickly as you would like. Just because you have no life, does not mean I am similarly afflicted.

You insult me when I give a polite "no thank you" to your advances. You are the reason most people don’t bother to reply to messages from people that don't interest them.

You view D/s (M/s) as a purely sexual relationship or as a quick and easy way to get sex. If you can't get laid by vanilla women, you're not going to have better luck with kinky ones. If your submission relies on the quantity and content of your orgasms, you may be a bottom but you are not submissive.

You view D/s as an escape from vanilla life where you are socially inept.

You have unrealistic expectations of your life as a sub/slave. This includes being kept naked at all times, being caged when not in use, or using D/s as a way to "fix" all of your problems and/or character flaws.

You think your submission is a "gift," you have a laundry list of things you won't do (cleaning, laundry, etc.), or a list of things your dominant *must* do. Adults have responsibilities beyond kink and relationships are a two-way street. It's not all about you. Grow up.


< Message edited by SylvereApLeanan -- 8/18/2012 3:56:38 PM >

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 4:21:54 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: monicalynne

How about the guy who after a few emails asked if I had kids. When I told him I had 2 girls over the age of 18, he TOLD me to come down and bring my girls so he could fuck all of us.

Was he from France? "I have come to make love to your whole family"



_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to monicalynne)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 4:24:25 PM   
Lucifyre


Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline 		Awesome! Thank you for sharing. :)

Lucifyre

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 4:32:01 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Yay, Velvet Buddy!

It's good to just have a warning label now.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Lucifyre)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: For new subs. - 8/18/2012 4:48:16 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SWDesertDom

quote:

You insult me when I don't return your amour (has that ever made a sub want you, really?).


While I don't do this, it's really, really, really, really, REALLY hard not to sometimes. As a male dom seeking, 99% of your interaction on the other side will be interacting with a giant wall of passive aggressive behavior. If that isn't infuriating, nothing is. And you (hypothetical you) have already indicated there will never be an "us" which makes it so very tempting to just vent on you.

While I'm always nice to people who are respectful back to me, I recognize a whole lot aren't. But that doesn't mean that it's any less infuriating to spend all your time "talking to the hand."


Rejecting you isn't passive aggressive.

I do understand that getting either a no thanks, or no response is frustrating but it is not an example of passive aggressive behavior. It's straight forward rejection.

And if you can't deal with it then maybe you don't belong online,. Moreover if this is your response to aggression, then it tells me that you are overinvested in getting a response from this person. You don't know them. You may be imagining that they would be a perfect partner for you judging by a two paragraph profile but that's your fantasy. It is not reality.

Honestly, if you can't just send a quick email without worrying over it and thinking about it over and over, then you need to learn healthier boundaries. And, once you have them, you'll discover that you will get more responses and from a higher caliber of partner who is equally healthy.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to SWDesertDom)
Profile   Post #: 40
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