Ohh, what a bad bad man your Odeen is! Someone ought to spank him. [8D] That's probably a great option since you are staying in the states forever and ever! Unfortunately, my son is only here for two weeks, so I'm thinking, based on all the positive tracphone experiences mentioned above, that this will be what we'll wind up with.
I've had good luck with Net10. They use AT&T's towers and in my spotty area it works when the Sprint towers don't.
Right now they have a flip phone for $25 that comes with a 30-day 750 minute card. No shipping charges. You can text with it too. See what's available in your area.