Coping Mechanisms

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Coping Mechanisms

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Coping Mechanisms

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Coping Mechanisms - 7/30/2012 7:33:19 PM

OneKinkyArtist

Posts: 132
Joined: 6/19/2012
Status: offline

Do you feel as if the things that go on in your life dictate how you approach the lifestyle and your dealings in it? I ask because I recently discovered someone is my personal life who is a fan of self flagellation, but it only comes about when they are "going through". Im not looking to clinically break them down as much as Im looking for a bit of feedback on other cases such as this.

_____________________________

Self expression is the key that opens the door to communication....

I would like to think of you as more than a dickhead....but I have limited thinking at this moment

in case you didnt get the memo Im not your average anything

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Coping Mechanisms - 7/30/2012 7:41:14 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

I've self-medicated with kink but mostly it comes from a place of joy.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to OneKinkyArtist)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Coping Mechanisms - 7/30/2012 8:09:53 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

Not for me. What I am is what I am, are you what you are, or what...

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Coping Mechanisms - 7/30/2012 8:15:40 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I know folks who play cathartically sometimes, and I know a LOT of cutters. They're pervs all the time, though.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to RemoteUser)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Coping Mechanisms - 7/30/2012 8:19:22 PM

Marini

Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

Not for me. What I am is what I am, are you what you are, or what...

That's it: What I am is what I am., you are what you are, you are what you are or what.....

You asked for it now: What I am /Edie Brickell and the Bohemians

< Message edited by Marini -- 7/30/2012 8:30:19 PM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to RemoteUser)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Coping Mechanisms - 7/30/2012 8:43:02 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

Not for me. What I am is what I am, are you what you are, or what...

That's it: What I am is what I am., you are what you are, you are what you are or what.....

You asked for it now: What I am /Edie Brickell and the Bohemians

Why thankee!

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to Marini)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Coping Mechanisms - 7/30/2012 8:47:55 PM

Marini

Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Why thankee!

I loved that one-hit wonder song, and you knew the words!
Thank you for reminding me of it.

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to RemoteUser)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Coping Mechanisms - 7/30/2012 9:13:52 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneKinkyArtist

Do you feel as if the things that go on in your life dictate how you approach the lifestyle and your dealings in it? I ask because I recently discovered someone is my personal life who is a fan of self flagellation, but it only comes about when they are "going through". Im not looking to clinically break them down as much as Im looking for a bit of feedback on other cases such as this.

My entire life dictates my relationship. My relationship dictates my entire life. They are intertwined and can't be separated. It's how I work.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to OneKinkyArtist)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Coping Mechanisms - 7/31/2012 4:11:15 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneKinkyArtist

Do you feel as if the things that go on in your life dictate how you approach the lifestyle and your dealings in it? I ask because I recently discovered someone is my personal life who is a fan of self flagellation, but it only comes about when they are "going through". Im not looking to clinically break them down as much as Im looking for a bit of feedback on other cases such as this.

To a degree yes. If I am not feeling centred and solid, I tend to withdraw a bit, until I get my shit gathered.

This summer has been VERY stressful for me. Because of that, I've been spending as much time as possible away from people that require more energy than I can give. In whatever way that may be. It has nothing at all to do with them, what they want from me being fair, or reasonable. It's all on me. I have a habit of spreading myself too thin in life. I used to ignore it and forge forward. It was bad for me, and ultimately those around me. Now I recognize the signs and do what I need to do for myself, which benefits those around me, long term. Even if they do not realize it short term.

I prioritize. Those already in my life, that are important to me, that I have a responsibility towards.......they get first dibs on my time, attention and energy. Work is second.

Because BDSM is an energy flow and I tend to put more energy out than I get back, I avoid it when I am tired or stressed.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 7/31/2012 4:13:04 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to OneKinkyArtist)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Coping Mechanisms - 7/31/2012 4:23:05 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneKinkyArtist

Do you feel as if the things that go on in your life dictate how you approach the lifestyle and your dealings in it? I ask because I recently discovered someone is my personal life who is a fan of self flagellation, but it only comes about when they are "going through". Im not looking to clinically break them down as much as Im looking for a bit of feedback on other cases such as this.

I wrote about this the other day actually. I am the opposite of this, if I am unable to cope with the life around me I retreat into myself, I stop looking on the internet, I stop fantasising, I argue more with my partner. When I feel worthwhile, beuatiful, interesting I can submit, I know then that my submission is a choice, that I have something to submit, otherwise it would feel more like punishment, like this is all I deserve and I know from bitter experience that is a dangerous road to travel.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to OneKinkyArtist)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Coping Mechanisms - 8/1/2012 12:27:27 PM

OneKinkyArtist

Posts: 132
Joined: 6/19/2012
Status: offline

I can understand where all of you are coming from. Thanks For sharing. I find myself in a bit of a mental rut when I cant get some play in. I dont write as creatively as I would normally

_____________________________

Self expression is the key that opens the door to communication....

I would like to think of you as more than a dickhead....but I have limited thinking at this moment

in case you didnt get the memo Im not your average anything

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Profile

Post #: 11