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ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Let's discuss what part gender plays in submission (7/13/2012 12:47:41 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: xssve
Well there is an element of mutual validation in any relationship, possibly more so in a D/S relationship, the submissive need someone strong to rely on and the dominant needs someone to rely on them, purely in terms of social utility, this tends to work out for both, there are mutual compensations.
When you involve sex, then it can get a bit more complicated, simply given that fact that sexual responses themselves are so varied across the population, but often very specific with given individuals.
There are some gender differences in terms of sexual response particularly in terms of active vs passive roles which while they aren't hard and fast, are often encountered in the form of expectations: i.e., the masculine role is usually expected to be active, the feminine, more passive, to the point that it's a tenet of "natural law" - in reality of course, it's quite a bit more fluid than that, and varies not only with the individual but often with circumstances, time of day or month, etc., women can be quite demanding and "hell hath no fury...", etc.
But generally speaking, in order for coitus to occur, the male is required to invade the woman's personal space or spaces with his engorged penis, and almost no way of doing that that does not require some active involvement, so the masculine-active feminine-passive thing is fairly easy to understand on a crude symbolic level - although in terms of the social interaction leading up to coitus, as I say, it is a bit more complex.
I highlighted the above b/c that is exactly my thinking, the act of penetration is, by it's very nature, a male dominated act that the female submits to.
Yes, the social interaction leading up to it is quite variable, as is the intercourse that follows. The female may very well ride him into bliss while he is required to lay there and "take it."
You know, I am attempting to have a more theoretical discussion on this topic, which is why and how males (in general) and females (in general) approach getting their sexual needs met is relevant. BTW: I appreciate all your input, very well thought out and written (as usual).
I found this statement for the lovely eyes Sylvere quite interesting:
quote:
I know very few submissives of either gender.
Now see, I would say exactly the opposite. I know tons of people, very few of whom are truly dominant. That's a tough role to fill and though many aspire to it, I don't see that many who do it well.
Most people to me are somewhat sub, though admittedly within their own space and time. Perhaps I have found a new way (for me) to differentiate between sub and slave, subs do it on their own terms, slaves are expected to obey and serve.
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