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sheisreeds -> RE: How long to withhold info? (7/14/2012 2:06:40 PM)
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So much of this depends on the news. Some stuff is deeply personal (family conflict, health issues) that sometimes people need to process it first before telling anyone. Being in a better headspace with it personally can make it less stressful on the self and others. News that can impact gravely both members of the relationship should not be kept a secret long (financial issues, personal risk, employment, housing), as these issues affect more than one person.
When we're dealing with stress, I and my partner both go through times when we hold back. I work a job which is stressful pretty much by design, so when he's going through something I don't talk as much. If I am getting so "off" that he's noticing and it's bothering him it's on him to ask me. When he's holding onto stress and/or stressful news and I'm noticing it's on me to ask him about it, and be in the right place to be there and be open to whatever he is going to tell me.
When crazy shit happens that effects the two of us, and I'm the first to know I try to get things under control and learn as much as I can before I call him at work. At the same time I don't want to make any major decisions without his input because it impacts both of our lives.
This is a complex question, though I would said it's partially your responsibility to ask if she's acting like something is wrong, and your responsibility is to be ready to listen. Her responsibility is to be ready to communicate, be responsible, and take opportunities to get support.
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