Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Privacy Etiquette


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Privacy Etiquette Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 12:08:23 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
In my vanilla life, if a child maybe hurt I am calling the cops without hesitation,.. if nothing is wrong and all is above board.. the adults involved have nothing to worry about.
Well thats great, julia, your willing to destroy someones life without being circumspect. Terrific. I suppose that you don't think that having the police show up at your door is very traumatic for a child. Having them take the child away from their parents to talk them does nothing to them. Right?
quote:

To many children are abused,neglected, and exploited in our country.
And many of those that are, are being abused by the very system(s) you would use to protect them. So which is the lesser of two evils? Going to the authorities with undeniable proof? Or just calling the cops everytime you hear a squeal through the walls?

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 12:09:44 PM   
eroticangel


Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline 		i think what goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas....same with posts and emails and journal entries

(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 12:38:37 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		IMHO the people I have known that have had unmentionables taken from them, the kids were better off. I have seen this many times...

I have a friend that teaches unmentionables, she is by law required to narc neglect to the authorities.. It takes a lot to get unmentionables away from their parents.. unlike many think. I would rather someone report me if they thought I was doing something wrong with my unmentionable than turn their back


BTW almost every friend I had since high school was sexually abused at some point by stepfather, uncle, father, or another man with influence in their life.. so I tend to think this goes unreported and under reported. I still applaud those who try to help girls like many of my friends

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 6/8/2006 12:39:41 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 12:44:26 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee
IMHO, any information Y/you receive in an email, IM, or other non-public setting is private and confidential and does not belong on the boards or in Y/your journal. What's Y/your opinion?

I think as long as someone isn't breaking the TOS or AUP of the particular site they are using, then they can do whatever they please.
quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

If I put something onto the internet, I assume that it will, at some point, become public knowledge. GIven the way the internet is, any e-mail I write could become public, any journal entry I write could be seen by my parents, any picture I post could be found by potential employers.

Bingo!
This isn’t the doctor’s office and no one on the internet should expect any level of confidentiality. Putting your personal and confidential information on the internet and then being shocked when it "leaks around" is almost as intelligent as putting your phone number on the bathroom wall and being surprised when people ring you up for a booty call.

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
In my vanilla life, if a child maybe hurt I am calling the cops without hesitation,.. if nothing is wrong and all is above board.. the adults involved have nothing to worry about. To many children are abused,neglected, and exploited in our country.

This is simply not true and shows your lack of experience with governmental family intervention agencies.
Please be aware that much of the abuse, neglect, and exploitation going on in this country is happening in foster homes to children that were removed from safe and healthy environments based on nosey neighbor hearsay and social worker’s misconceptions and stereotyping.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 12:49:42 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Perhaps the most irritating and disgusting thing I have seen from the latest witch-hunt was the flood of mail I got of copy and pasted mail and IM conversations. I felt pretty bad for the people who expected their conversations with that person was going to be kept between them, but it gave me quite an insight to their thoughts and opinions.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 12:52:47 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		that all sounds pretty pathetic

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 12:57:59 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		Indeed, on a couple of different levels.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 1:10:19 PM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

IMHO, any information Y/you receive in an email, IM, or other non-public setting is private and confidential and does not belong on the boards or in Y/your journal.
 
What's Y/your opinion?  (Please reference mistoferin's Op on "witch hunts".)
 
pinkee
 
 


IMO it is wrong to air your dirty laundry in public forum, and quite childish to say the least.  However, if you know someone who is a potential dangerous person ( I mean someone who is clearly a physical abuser or psycho) who is actively seeking their next victim, then how do you warn others without going to a open forum?

For instance, years ago, a first time submissive met a self proclaimed dominant man online and after a long correspondence between the two, they agreed to get together and play. She was beaten, tortured and raped repeatedly. All pre negotiation went out the door after he had her tied to the bed and had gagged her. This was a guy she thought she could trust!  He hurt her so bad she had to be hospilized. And I suppose because of the nature of their meeting, the police did nothing about it.  The guy was on a public bdsm forum and looking for other submissives to "play" with, and those who knew who he was and what had happened, tried to warn those on that board that he was a dangerous person.

So I guess on the contrary, if its to warn someone of a psycho, it would be ok to go public. Dateline has had many episodes about child predators, and they don't try to hide the identity of those involved, but I guess they have backed up evidence of the harmful intentions of those involved.

Nina  

_____________________________

My stiletto boots fit like gloves around his wrists.. as I locked them on I knew we were a match!

(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 1:37:57 PM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

IMHO, any information Y/you receive in an email, IM, or other non-public setting is private and confidential and does not belong on the boards or in Y/your journal.
 
What's Y/your opinion?  (Please reference mistoferin's Op on "witch hunts".)
 
pinkee
 
 


IMO it is wrong to air your dirty laundry in public forum, and quite childish to say the least.  However, if you know someone who is a potential dangerous person ( I mean someone who is clearly a physical abuser or psycho) who is actively seeking their next victim, then how do you warn others without going to a open forum?

For instance, years ago, a first time submissive met a self proclaimed dominant man online and after a long correspondence between the two, they agreed to get together and play. She was beaten, tortured and raped repeatedly. All pre negotiation went out the door after he had her tied to the bed and had gagged her. This was a guy she thought she could trust!  He hurt her so bad she had to be hospilized. And I suppose because of the nature of their meeting, the police did nothing about it.  The guy was on a public bdsm forum and looking for other submissives to "play" with, and those who knew who he was and what had happened, tried to warn those on that board that he was a dangerous person.

So I guess on the contrary, if its to warn someone of a psycho, it would be ok to go public. Dateline has had many episodes about child predators, and they don't try to hide the identity of those involved, but I guess they have backed up evidence of the harmful intentions of those involved.

Nina  


Sorry, but on this board, bashing a M/member is a violation of the TOS.  There are other ways to help an abused womam, if you truely believe her story.
 
pinkee

< Message edited by pinkee -- 6/8/2006 1:39:17 PM >

(in reply to NINASHARP)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 2:11:41 PM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

IMHO, any information Y/you receive in an email, IM, or other non-public setting is private and confidential and does not belong on the boards or in Y/your journal.
 
What's Y/your opinion?  (Please reference mistoferin's Op on "witch hunts".)
 
pinkee
 
 


IMO it is wrong to air your dirty laundry in public forum, and quite childish to say the least.  However, if you know someone who is a potential dangerous person ( I mean someone who is clearly a physical abuser or psycho) who is actively seeking their next victim, then how do you warn others without going to a open forum?

For instance, years ago, a first time submissive met a self proclaimed dominant man online and after a long correspondence between the two, they agreed to get together and play. She was beaten, tortured and raped repeatedly. All pre negotiation went out the door after he had her tied to the bed and had gagged her. This was a guy she thought she could trust!  He hurt her so bad she had to be hospilized. And I suppose because of the nature of their meeting, the police did nothing about it.  The guy was on a public bdsm forum and looking for other submissives to "play" with, and those who knew who he was and what had happened, tried to warn those on that board that he was a dangerous person.

So I guess on the contrary, if its to warn someone of a psycho, it would be ok to go public. Dateline has had many episodes about child predators, and they don't try to hide the identity of those involved, but I guess they have backed up evidence of the harmful intentions of those involved.

Nina  


Sorry, but on this board, bashing a M/member is a violation of the TOS.  There are other ways to help an abused womam, if you truely believe her story.
 
pinkee


I was not talking about this board, nor a member here, although the guy could be as far as I know. I was giving an example of what might be a reason to bring something to a public forum. Thats is all.  

And yes the story is true, and its probably not the only one out there. Here is a reality check for you, there are some people out there, who don't play fair or  nice. I really do hope that you never find that out for yourself.

Nina

. 

(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 2:16:01 PM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

IMHO, any information Y/you receive in an email, IM, or other non-public setting is private and confidential and does not belong on the boards or in Y/your journal.
 
What's Y/your opinion?  (Please reference mistoferin's Op on "witch hunts".)
 
pinkee
 
 


IMO it is wrong to air your dirty laundry in public forum, and quite childish to say the least.  However, if you know someone who is a potential dangerous person ( I mean someone who is clearly a physical abuser or psycho) who is actively seeking their next victim, then how do you warn others without going to a open forum?

For instance, years ago, a first time submissive met a self proclaimed dominant man online and after a long correspondence between the two, they agreed to get together and play. She was beaten, tortured and raped repeatedly. All pre negotiation went out the door after he had her tied to the bed and had gagged her. This was a guy she thought she could trust!  He hurt her so bad she had to be hospilized. And I suppose because of the nature of their meeting, the police did nothing about it.  The guy was on a public bdsm forum and looking for other submissives to "play" with, and those who knew who he was and what had happened, tried to warn those on that board that he was a dangerous person.

So I guess on the contrary, if its to warn someone of a psycho, it would be ok to go public. Dateline has had many episodes about child predators, and they don't try to hide the identity of those involved, but I guess they have backed up evidence of the harmful intentions of those involved.

Nina  


Sorry, but on this board, bashing a M/member is a violation of the TOS.  There are other ways to help an abused womam, if you truely believe her story.
 
pinkee


I was not talking about this board, nor a member here, although the guy could be as far as I know. I was giving an example of what might be a reason to bring something to a public forum. Thats is all.  

And yes the story is true, and its probably not the only one out there. Here is a reality check for you, there are some people out there, who don't play fair or  nice. I really do hope that you never find that out for yourself.

Nina

. 


i have heard doezens of stories of abused women in my time here.
 
Here are some things to do::
 
1. Empasize safety -- beforehand.
 
2.  Document your injuries -- insist the ER take pictures -- and pressure the DA to prosecute.
 
3.  Tell Support.
 
4.  Direct her to the county sherrif for assistance from the woman's shelter/battering assistance network.
 
pinkee

< Message edited by pinkee -- 6/8/2006 2:17:03 PM >

(in reply to NINASHARP)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 2:48:18 PM   
iliv2servher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

IMHO, any information Y/you receive in an email, IM, or other non-public setting is private and confidential and does not belong on the boards or in Y/your journal.
 
What's Y/your opinion?  (Please reference mistoferin's Op on "witch hunts".)
 
pinkee
 


I don't believe there is any current Internet law pertaining to the misuse of private messages, although (and possibly not related to the question) the person who "owns" the network or the telephone line does have a legal right to read or monitor those communications.  If the sender specifically asks you not to pass along the message, then I believe you are bound by at least a code of ethics, if not the law.

Possibly unrelated to the original question...

If you are talking about copyright infringement, such as copying and pasting what someone has written and posted on a Website, and taking that and placing it into a public venue (such as CM), I believe that you do have a responsiblity to ask them if you can quote the text before publishing it.  And in the case of a post on a public Website, I would certainly give them journalistic credit.

Although not specifically addressed in the question...

Internet laws relating to privacy and copyright protection are still in their infancy, and we will have to wait for the higher courts to decide what is permissible to reproduce and what is not.

On point...

In my opinion, what someones relates to you in a message or in an E-Mail should be considered private and confidential unless otherwise stated by the sender.


_____________________________

Dating sucks!

(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 3:28:35 PM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

IMHO, any information Y/you receive in an email, IM, or other non-public setting is private and confidential and does not belong on the boards or in Y/your journal.
 
What's Y/your opinion?  (Please reference mistoferin's Op on "witch hunts".)
 
pinkee
 
 
I think for the most part...e-mails and the information contained within them, should be held in confidence, at least to the extent that it's not published in a journal or brought out in a forum. Sure, as several pointed out, if it's an obvious case that someone needs warned of possible danger, they should be warned, but I would think a direct approach rather than a copy/paste would be more appropriate. I have to admit if someone send me an e-mail about how they were cheating on their spouse, I might be compelled to disclose that, but again, I am quite positive I would not copy/paste an e-mail to my journal or post it on the boards...I would just bring up directly to one or the other parties involved. If there's a hypothetical situation and no names are disclosed (and it's not obvious)...and it's used as an example...I don't see anything wrong with posting the situation on the boards however. Of course the second you cross that line where you are finger pointing...you just stepped in it in my book.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 5:06:14 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		So...have enough people agreed with the OP yet?

Generally speaking it is poor form to reveal information received privately in a public setting, be it online or in real life.  On the other hand, use common sense.  Most reasonable people can tell what might be upsetting or awkward to reveal and what might be a casual reference or conversational material. 

On the other hand, let's sniff out this privacy buster and burn her ass at the stake.

< Message edited by Sensualips -- 6/8/2006 5:09:40 PM >

(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 5:07:29 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I strongly feel that private conversations need to remain private.
If a friend sends a joke I ask about passing it on and then it can
be posted.  I am on over 20 different discussion lists for various
topics; Burning Man, Renaissance Faires, Rocky Horror and Kink
Events.  Some of the events have cross-over appeal and I send
event announcements to other lists when appropriate.  Most of
the time that is for some sort of costume party like The Labyrinth
of Jareth or The Carnal Carnival, and fund-raising events for
various charities.  But I check first to see if there is a tag line of
"Feel free to post to appropriate lists".
 
Peace and Light,
 
Vendaval
 


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 5:21:25 PM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: iliv2servher

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

IMHO, any information Y/you receive in an email, IM, or other non-public setting is private and confidential and does not belong on the boards or in Y/your journal.
 
What's Y/your opinion?  (Please reference mistoferin's Op on "witch hunts".)
 
pinkee
 


I don't believe there is any current Internet law pertaining to the misuse of private messages, although (and possibly not related to the question) the person who "owns" the network or the telephone line does have a legal right to read or monitor those communications.  If the sender specifically asks you not to pass along the message, then I believe you are bound by at least a code of ethics, if not the law.

Possibly unrelated to the original question...

If you are talking about copyright infringement, such as copying and pasting what someone has written and posted on a Website, and taking that and placing it into a public venue (such as CM), I believe that you do have a responsiblity to ask them if you can quote the text before publishing it.  And in the case of a post on a public Website, I would certainly give them journalistic credit.

Although not specifically addressed in the question...

Internet laws relating to privacy and copyright protection are still in their infancy, and we will have to wait for the higher courts to decide what is permissible to reproduce and what is not.

On point...

In my opinion, what someones relates to you in a message or in an E-Mail should be considered private and confidential unless otherwise stated by the sender.



Once again, this thread is about "etiquette" not laws or the TOS.
 
pinkee

(in reply to iliv2servher)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 6:48:48 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		Etiquette is not a legal standard, as already pointed out...but it certainly does not trump matters of possible harm or danger to others...

And it has been shown over and over again, that sending anyone anything on the Internet (note the name is not the Privacynet) is like shouting out an open window. 

If there has been an expectation of trust and matters have been shared in confidence, and then that confidence betrayed, such actions were around long before computers. 

(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 6:55:45 PM   
BreakMeShakeMe


Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline 		I got a better Idea... you don't want shit repeated... don't say it.. plain and simple. 

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to Alumbrado)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 6:58:15 PM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe

I got a better Idea... you don't want shit repeated... don't say it.. plain and simple. 


i trust the P/pl i communicate with, and have not been let down, except once.  truesub4u -- did you change your nick?
 
pinkee

< Message edited by pinkee -- 6/8/2006 6:59:07 PM >

(in reply to BreakMeShakeMe)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Privacy Etiquette - 6/8/2006 7:01:23 PM   
BreakMeShakeMe


Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline 		Yep sure did. 

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Privacy Etiquette Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094