quote:

Imo, unless a parent has only one child/beneficiary, use an independent professional third party to be executor.. JMO..

quote:

ORIGINAL: areallivehuman

Four years ago I was going through a divorce (my choice) and looking for suitable, affordable housing. I had an epiphany one day while having lunch with my mother; she asked me to take down her trash, and bring up some groceries she had left in her car. I saw suddenly, she was weakening, alone, in an upstairs apartment, and eventually was going to need a bit of looking after. That was all I needed, I bought a rambling, decrepit, old barn of a foreclosure, carved out a downstairs bed and bath, and moved her in. It was one of my better decisions.
We had had a good relationship, but not particularly close. No acrimony, just separate, busy lives. It has been great to develop new levels to our bond, to get to know each other in new ways. Thankfully Mom is all there mentally at 76, she's gone through chemo for abdominal cancer and broken her hip since she's moved in, so there have certainly been bumps in the road. But I'm really glad to have had this opportunity. I am the eldest of six, and lived in our hometown, so it just felt right.
It also helped to separate the wheat from the chaff, for it would take a very special woman to join this household. Thankfully, I found her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: areallivehuman

Four years ago I was going through a divorce (my choice) and looking for suitable, affordable housing. I had an epiphany one day while having lunch with my mother; she asked me to take down her trash, and bring up some groceries she had left in her car. I saw suddenly, she was weakening, alone, in an upstairs apartment, and eventually was going to need a bit of looking after. That was all I needed, I bought a rambling, decrepit, old barn of a foreclosure, carved out a downstairs bed and bath, and moved her in. It was one of my better decisions.
We had had a good relationship, but not particularly close. No acrimony, just separate, busy lives. It has been great to develop new levels to our bond, to get to know each other in new ways. Thankfully Mom is all there mentally at 76, she's gone through chemo for abdominal cancer and broken her hip since she's moved in, so there have certainly been bumps in the road. But I'm really glad to have had this opportunity. I am the eldest of six, and lived in our hometown, so it just felt right.
It also helped to separate the wheat from the chaff, for it would take a very special woman to join this household. Thankfully, I found her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

Imo, unless a parent has only one child/beneficiary, use an independent professional third party to be executor.. JMO..

Now this I agree.When I worked in a register of wills department, it was always so much easier when the attorney or someone similar was the executor of the estate. Otherwise we would have siblings and family members coming in and contesting the will and then we would have to have a court case or the sibling named the executor would not take care of the estate and then we would have the other siblings calling us up and telling us, at which point we would have to take steps to remedy it which was not fun at all.

So unless you know with 100% knowledge that your family member will do what needs to be done, please please please find someone else outside.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

Imo, unless a parent has only one child/beneficiary, use an independent professional third party to be executor.. JMO..

Now this I agree.When I worked in a register of wills department, it was always so much easier when the attorney or someone similar was the executor of the estate. Otherwise we would have siblings and family members coming in and contesting the will and then we would have to have a court case or the sibling named the executor would not take care of the estate and then we would have the other siblings calling us up and telling us, at which point we would have to take steps to remedy it which was not fun at all.

So unless you know with 100% knowledge that your family member will do what needs to be done, please please please find someone else outside.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
I think it depends on the situation too. I have a brother, but mom made me the executrix of her will, simply because she also left everything to me.